The Most Popular Baby Names of 2018

By Jeff Bogle

The first half of 2018 has been an exciting and adventurous one for new baby names, as parents everywhere are looking to their pantries, driveways and TV screens for help deciding what to call their precious newborns.

Thanks to a shady back room deal (not really), I have procured a list of widely-used 2018 baby names from the Social Security Administration.

Here are a dozen of the most popular so far, right now, in 2018!

Quinoa

Yet another hip, oft-mispronounced food is popular for newborn girls who will never get to experience the joy of finding their name on a rack of personalized magnets at a single zoo gift shop. Although strolling the rice aisle of their local grocery store will bring a lifetime of cheap thrills.

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37 Responses to “The Most Popular Baby Names of 2018”

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Sorceress Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 2:09 am

Is this supposed to be mocking? I only love Lilith, but I don’t think there are low market/bad/ugly baby names and I don’t like it.

R_J Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 6:38 am

I hope by 2016 it won’t be cool anymore to mock the downfall of a great city.

roseate6 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 8:43 am

Playpens are so 1978. 2018 babies will be as free-range as the kale they’re named after. Wait, what?

Saracita00 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 10:20 am

Hilarious. “Aquamarine: because Blue is so 2012,” made me laugh out loud.

rkchance Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 10:36 am

Few of his saterical observations were even funny. I cant believe people get paid for low level, no creativity humor like this. I agree with R_J, its not cool to mock Detroit.

iamamiam Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 10:52 am

This article is a miss

GrecianErn Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 10:53 am

Funnies – I know a 1 yr old Cale and a 17 yr old Bryce… guess 2018 isn’t too far away. 😉

Pam Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 11:04 am

Aw, c’mon guys: a little gentle ribbing of some over-the-top baby name trends. We think it’s funny!

opalmoon Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 11:10 am

I know both a Bryce and Oren in their 50s…so to me they are nothing new. Not common – but not unknown in Oz.

Mischa Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 11:14 am

I always believe that laughing at ourselves is the best remedy for getting through tough times. 🙂

VegasCountryQueen Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 11:22 am

I like Clementine & Ivy. 🙂

explorach1 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 12:28 pm

I think this is hysterical!
I love Ivy and Clementine, too. I also think Kale could work. And, Aquamarine has just inspired Marine or Marina for me! Ha!

KateMP91 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 1:12 pm

I laughed while reading this, despite the fact that I am quite fond of several of the names. I think the humor is spot on…and I think he is correct about at least a few of the names!

rachel27 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 3:39 pm

I get what the author was trying to do, but it just wasn’t funny to me. Oh, well.

Haannahh Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 4:44 pm

Jaw dropped…..like I hope this isn’t true! Oh myy

iamamiam Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Ribbing is fine but I agree with rachel27. I felt like I was reading someone bomb at the comedy club. Hence, a miss.

tori101 Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 5:06 pm

Hmm I liked some of the names on this list like Clementine for example.

But seriously kinda harsh ripping Detroit in all honesty Detroit current state isn’t a laughing matter in fact it’s in incredibly sad and this is coming from someone who isn’t even American! I think fellow American’s may find that ripping harsh… just saying!

The Aquamarine comment was hilarious though.

LavenderBelle Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Love the Aquamarine comment…
I follow someone on pinterest that pins about her made up daughter, Quinoa, and her friends. It makes me laugh and when I saw Quinoa listed her I thought that it was funny.

whitdztrix Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 7:07 pm

What’s in a name? Some good laughs!

Thanks, Jeff.

alphabetdem Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Awww, I love Clementine and Ivy! and Lilith is fine, if nms.

As for Quinoa… has anyone seen this Pinterest board? http://pinterest.com/tiffanywbwg/my-imaginary-well-dressed-toddler-daughter/
It’s a satire of all the ridiculously well-dressed kids on Pinterest, and the fake daughter is named Quinoa! It is so hilarious, and check out the names of Quinoa’s friends: Chevron, Booker, Ralph, Orchid, Ombre, Clemente, Flax, Maybach, Gabardine…

EmilyVA Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 8:29 pm

Ivy will be top 100 soon, certainly by 2018.
I agree with other posters about Detroit. I also think the city craze has not been as sweeping this year in other years.

Giinkies Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 10:05 pm

I thought some were funny.
Some were weird thought… Bryce, Ivy and Clementine are common enough names (or even familiar enough).
I agree some of the humor was spot on, but a good bit of the names listed didn’t seem that bad

rkchance Says:

August 30th, 2013 at 11:10 pm

I’m guessing that the people laughing about the author’s flippant Detroit comments either aren’t from the midwest or are the entitled class that assume everyone lower than them should just work harder. Poverty and misfortune aren’t always a choice.

TeensieTraveler Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 6:19 am

I read the daily blogs, but this is probably the first time I’ve felt the need to comment…all because the article was in such poor taste. I understand the author’s “attempt” at humor; however, not one of his entries was humorous – I think my six year old cousin could do a better job. The saddest part is that the author felt it was appropriate to mock Detroit, when he’s from…wait for it…Philadelphia! Classy.

rainierloner Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 8:34 am

I thought that this was hilarious! Loved the Aquamarine comment.

But about names– I liked Aquamarine, Ivy, Clementine, Carter, Whit, and Lilith.

Liddyhop Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 4:22 pm

True Cheers fan don’t use the name Coach, but cut straight through to Ernie for true hipster, “I watch 30 yr shows and know the true names of all the characters” cred

Liddyhop Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 4:23 pm

Speaking of I know a dog named Ernie for this very reason, what can I say? I’m just that cool

OhLuna Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Sorry, but I also didn’t appreciate the rip on Detroit. It’s my hometown. Many of us here are sick of the trash talk when we’re trying to work ourselves out of the present situation – a process that will unfortunately take a long time. Not appropriate.

Mcdonak1 Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 7:43 pm

There is a whoooooole lot of butthurt in this comments section.

The Kia entry did not feel that far off.

katybug Says:

August 31st, 2013 at 9:33 pm

I know of a little boy whose middle name is Detroit, he’s probably 6 or 7 now, and I have to admit that I’ve wondered if his parents’ thoughts about the name have changed over the years.

LittlePatch8 Says:

September 1st, 2013 at 5:37 am

I actually know a Kale.

Natural Says:

September 1st, 2013 at 6:20 am

I am so tired of seeing Kardashian-West’s photo(s) almost every where I click. I thought I would get a break from nameberry; apparently, I was wrong. I sort of understood the blatant hype when she was pregnant, but can we please give it a rest. I would even take a photo of a dancing grizzly bear on a trampoline that wears a snake as a feather boa. Or a infatuated goose singing into rubber ducky while trying to woo a swan.

Greyer Says:

September 1st, 2013 at 8:48 am

I agree with Mcdonak1, whole lot of butthurt. Seriously people, lighten up.

I thought the list was funny, though I seriously hope these don’t become popular names! But I could definitely see them happening… even Detroit. The popularity of Camden baffles me, because Camden isn’t a nice place either IMO.

iwillpraise Says:

September 3rd, 2013 at 12:41 pm

Do any of you remember the forum thread a berry started about the name “Aquamarie” quite a while back? I don’t think she was intending to use it, though I though it was pretty inventive. It’s my birthstone, but I believe it would make for an awkward name. I feel the same about Peridot (kinda like Margot) which I’d never use either…. although my niece was named after my grandma Ruby and my husband and I both find Sapphire and Amythest attractive little names…

I can appreciate the Southeast-Blue was so 2012/ Kia-Kia Rio/ Kale-Acai-Quinoa humor definitely. It’s right on. Sometimes I think that name inspiration can go a little too far.

Layla Says:

September 3rd, 2013 at 6:15 pm

The only aspect of this article in worse taste then a low dig at Detroit? The photo that accompanied it. Yikes.

JessicaT11 Says:

September 4th, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Detroit has tough skin, you don’t need to pity her.

Nephele Says:

November 2nd, 2013 at 5:50 am

Cheers to you, Jeff Bogle, for your courageous time-travel! Knowing what new names are in store for us in the near future comparatively helps to make fears of invasion by China so less discomfiting.

@alphabetdem – thanks for that link to the Pinterest board! I’m still laughing my butt off over those well-dressed kids with those hipster names and trendy activities. I will never ever ever ever again be able to hear the word “Quinoa” without bursting into fits of uncontrollable giggles.

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