Shower Rules

[haleyhailstorm]

My mom had a shower with me and with my brother, who was born five years after me. I'm sure she didn't demand it. I think people just wanted to throw her one. There definitely isn't anything wrong with it. My brother, who was a very pretty baby, was mistaken enough for a girl even being decked out all in blue. I'd hate to think what it would have been like if all he had were hand-me-down dresses!

[oddcreature]

Traditionally you're only meant to have one shower. But to me it's a bit like being told you can only wear white for your first wedding dress. It's just an old-fashioned rule.

There's no shame in wanting some sort of event to celebrate that a new baby is coming - every baby is worth celebrating! The problem seems to lie in calling it a "shower". Because at a shower you shower the person with gifts, so having two is seen as greedy gift-grabbing. But if you give it a different name, and explain to guests that it's a shower sans gifts, I doubt most people would object to that.

Someone told me a great idea of calling it a "baby sprinkle". A sprinkle of course being lighter than a shower, if we're talking weather terms. So you still have games and food and fun times, but no presents.

And for the record, I am sooooo doing this! Because this has been a rather stressful pregnancy so far, so I feel like I deserve a nice get-together with friends to celebrate getting through it.

[oddcreature]

Might add too, that I don't know about you American folk but here in the land down under it's considered perfectly ok to have a second shower if there has been a significant gap between children.

Eg: my friends son was 9 when she had her daughter, so she had no baby stuff at all.

[lindseywhite03]

I am not a very rigid or "sophisticated" type. I just go with the flow and do what I think feels natural at the time. I get embarrassed to be the center of attention for anything so all showers would be awkward for me- including the two wedding showers I just had from my church and my husband's church. If someone really wants to give you a shower I think it is rude to decline. if noone is talking about a shower I think it's awkward to insist you get one.

That being said, I think each situation is different for everyone. My cousin had a boy and had a church shower. 3 years later she had a girl and had a shower at church. 4 years later she had a little boy and had a thrid shower thrown by the church but held at a member's house. My cousin's babies were all spread out and each time she thought she wouldnt have more children so she had gotten rid of all "baby things". It seems natural and unselfish to let those that wanted to celebrate with her come and bring gifts if they wanted.

My church has a "one shower rule". This just means no matter how many kids you have already if you are new to our church and get pregnant we will give you a shower because you have never been given a shower by our church. But if you have always been a member you get a shower for baby #1 and that is it. However, other members you are close with may chose to host a second shower for you at their own homes, etc.

Because I want to be a stay at home mom once we can afford it and I get pregnant. I would kind of hope if baby #2 was a different gender I could have a gender specific shower for #2 without the basics. Luckily my twin sister would be more than happy to host it for me

[pansy]

Someone told me a great idea of calling it a "baby sprinkle". A sprinkle of course being lighter than a shower, if we're talking weather terms. So you still have games and food and fun times, but no presents.

I've been to a baby sprinkle before. It was exactly like a shower, complete with presents. The only difference was the name.

Anyway, I don't see a problem with having a shower for the first child of each gender, as long as you don't register for expensive things the second time around (ie, a second high chair, swing, etc). If people are uncomfortable with a second shower then I think a diaper party is a great compromise. You can celebrate with games and food and the only gift is something useful.

[jacomer]

I agree with east93. I had showers thrown for me for both of my kids. The first was a more traditional baby shower at a house and the second was a small brunch get-together, but I didn't ask anyone to throw them for me. The purpose of a baby shower these days tends to be more about getting together to celebrate the new life. I would think it's only tacky if you ask for a huge shower or get to crazy about the gifts instead of thinking about it as a celebration.

[rollo]

I thought that this was about having a shower (as one does everyday to clean oneself) not a party!

[jaderain]

I have one girl, and didn't even want to have a baby shower. My friends at worked asked me when my shower was, and I said 'there isn't one.' The wind up... my coworkers threw a suprise shower anyway. To this day, I can't believe they kept their plans secret for so long. But I would never expect a second shower!

[sinkme]

I'm of the opinion that a shower should be thrown by someone other than the woman who is pregnant VOLUNTARILY. I would never suggest that someone give me a baby shower. I was given 2 showers with my first (one by my side of the family- one by DH's family).

I didn't have a baby shower for my 2nd girl and I hadn't planned on it. My sister had her 3rd child last year and it was her first boy in 8 years and I thought it would be nice to help her out since she had gotten rid of everything so I planned a surprise baby shower for her.

[tinabina]

IMO you get one "big" Baby Shower with baby #1. Even if the next baby is a different gender, you don't need everything brand new all over again. I am fine with having a second, third shower etc if they are just celebrations for a new baby. No one needs to bring a gift, maybe just diapers or something small as a token but it's mainly a celebration.

I'm not a fan of baby showers in general. I find them boring lol I don't like going to them and whenever I am pregnant I plan to make it a good time for everyone involved. You won't find me in someone's living room wearing ribbons eating baby carrots. You may find me in a crazy outfit at a big BBQ bash with music playing, and baby themed everything (no pink and blue ribbons) sipping on a virgin pina colada.