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April 13th, 2013 08:10 PM #1
How much does sib set match and origin of name matter? (sorry, long!)
Well... I've been complaining about my dearest partner for years now. He's so picky!! During 2 pregnancies we have NEVER agreed on a girl name, not EVER, and only JUST agreed on the names of our boys (some compromising was involved)! Now that we are thinking about a third I've begun seriously thinking about names again as before I was just... well doing it for fun as I love name hunting (partner makes it a bit of a sour chore due to his pickiness, its much more fun when you can let your imagination roam free!)
My top name is Rosalie - but we can't agree on a middle name and I don't want Rosie as a nn which it would undoubtedly be.
My second is Miriam Beatrix - but partner detests it, so no chance there.
My third would be Clara - but unfortunately Clara is the name of a strip teasing NPC in a game my partner once played (OMG!!!) ...
My fourth - Alice, well my partner does actually like this, but it caused major drama in my family when I mentioned it (I've only got two half sisters left and their grandmother is Alice. My younger one wishes to use this if she has a daughter and I didn't know that, so I mentioned it and it turned a bit sour... I don't want to loose the last bit of family I have left over a name so I vetoed it in the end...)
Then I despaired and had a major rant (as you do) and told him to come up with a name, just ONE name, he would use - and he did! And I'll admit, I absolutely love it (which surprised me), but my concern is - it's NOT English, it's Japanese (he tends to favour Japanese names) and it doesn't match our boys names.
It's Sayuri and means Little Lily.
But, how much should I let my concerns rule me? She'd get an English middle name, English surname ... Should it matter that it's not English/commonly used in English speaking countries?
I've already covered the "It will offend Japanese people" and have been told it won't be an issue. In fact I found a little African-American girl living in Osaka named Sakura and her parents said it had never been an issue. So that isn't my concern at all.
Also, Is it important that sibling names fit together!?
Tristan, Noah & Sayuri - too strange?
We've not agreed on a single other and our name list... Well.. I list every name we talk about ... mostly to proof a point of how picky he is because he says he isn't picky - at the moment the list contains 345 names he has turned down! I've run out of names I like and would seriously consider using, so Sayuri feels like the last name left... =/
April 13th, 2013 08:20 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
That's quite a situation! Have you gone back over some of those 345 names recently? Is it possible that he's forgotten which he liked and which he didn't? Sayuri is pretty, but it sounds like you're completely settling on it just because he's being difficult. If you actually like it, I don't see why you couldn't use it. It is a different origin, but it doesn't sound strange to me.
I'd keep trying to break him down on a few that you like more than Sayuri before you completely give in and go for it. Let him know that his pickiness is very hard on you and that you're trying to compromise with him but he can't possibly HATE 345 names. Maybe you can come to an agreement, like Rosalie Sayuri or something. Stay strong, mama!
April 13th, 2013 08:25 PM #5
I had him read the entire list yesterday and the only name he picked out was Sayuri. Well he does like Amelia and Ava too, and although they are pretty, they are much too popular for me!
I do really love Sayuri! I suppose I'm more worried about whether it will be too strange when our boys have pretty common/wellknown names! Maybe I'm overthinking?
I did suggest Rosalie Sayuri, but he doesn't really like that either!
April 13th, 2013 08:32 PM #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
There aren't any "naming rules" that say siblings have to have "matching" or "compatible" names. It's all opinion anyway. I knew a brother and his adopted sister who were both African American named Mikado and Keko (Japanese) and nobody ever questioned it. They're both grown adults now and I couldn't imagine different names for them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that names don't necessarily have to "go." They're siblings, yes, but they won't always be associated together when they're grown. I live in a different state than my brothers and nobody asks my name and then asks what my siblings names are. So while some people prefer names to match, I don't think it's necessary.
If you really both love Sayuri, go for it. For some reason, it didn't really strike me as Japanese when I first read it. It just sounds pretty and unique. Sayuri Rose would be lovely! I don't think it's all that strange with Tristan and Noah either, (especially since she's a girl. It works to have a different style than her brothers).
Alternatively, what do you guys think of something like Avaline, Avabelle, Avalie, or Amelie? A bit less popular than Ava and Amelia, but more common than Sayuri. (Sayuri also made me think of Suri initially.)
Last edited by karacavazos; April 13th, 2013 at 08:37 PM.
April 13th, 2013 08:34 PM #9