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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,113
    The only thing that immediately pops into my head, is most airlines will not let you fly during your third trimester without a doctors permission. So keep that in mind if you do travel abroad and want to return home before having the baby. Also, I cannot stress enough that a baby does not mean you have to give up traveling! I know many families that have traveled with babies as young as 3 months to all kinds of places. Long trips too, like from Canada to Germany and South America. You could TTC before you go, while you are there, or shortly after you come home too. Also, there's nothing wrong with giving birth in another country, it could lead to dual-citizenship for your baby, which is always a great thing to have!
    Traveling is one of the things I'm really worried about missing out on too, it really doesn't seem possible with a baby or child in tow, but it is. I haven't been anywhere outside of Canada, and for that matter, haven't seen much of out Canada itself either, but I think it would be an even more amazing experience with my children, and as a learning experience for them when they get older. We've even toyed with the idea of pulling them out of school for 6 months or something to that effect, and homeschooling them, but taking a trip around other continents so they get real life experiences, not just classroom learning. It's important for kids (and adults!) to experience the world and expand their horizons! Maybe also think about joining some online forums that deal with emigration and Australia specifically, you can talk to native Australians about where they live, how they enjoy it, places to go, things to see, the best place to raise a family and everything, from the comfort of your living room, and possibly save yourself a lot of time before going on the trip by ruling places out. If anyone knows best, it's the people that already live there! I think it would be absolutely brilliant to live in another country one day, for even just a little while. We have been toying with the idea of my Fiance taking his masters in either Australia or the Netherlands, which would mean us having a baby in one of those other countries possibly, or going there with an infant. It's an intimidating thought, but I think it's workable.
    I'm actually flattered that you think I'm not a big ball of stress haha, because I am, I just have a tendency to over think and possibly over plan, it actually drives my Fiance insane. But it's important for me to have an idea of how we'll be living our lives in 3/4 years!
    Also, you never ever run out of options, and don't feel limited in your choices in life, like I said before, you really can have it all, you just need to find ways to make it work for you!

    Lachlan Alexander - Evander 'Anders' Alcott - Cadmus Walter - Theron Xavier - Thatcher William - Peregrine North - Dresden Alasdair

    Natalie Winter - Adelaide Pearl - Hermione Jane - Corisande Fable - Lavender Alina/Irie - Cordelia Autumn - Virginia Joy- Odessa Faye


  2. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    197
    I think something to keep in mind is that when dealing with life, it doesn't go according to plans. Not to say that you shouldn't set goals, and have a general idea of things you'd like to accomplish, but things happen. I went to trade school, and planned to get pregnant after graduation with the intention that I would continue to work after the baby was born. The job I was trained for would have allowed for part time work, and I could even bring the infant with me when he was young. After I graduated, we started ttc, and I immediately fell pregnant. Surprise! Twins. They don't run in our family.

    I've always been incredibly healthy, and was in excellent shape when the babies were conceived. That didn't stop me from having a complicated pregnancy and prolonged bed rest. The babies and I were absolutely fine after delivery, but working was not an option for me realistically with twinfants.

    When they were about 1 1/2 I decided to go back to school for nursing. I worked on my pre-reqs for a couple of years, got pregnant (again, a complicated pregnancy requiring hospitalizations), and had a baby five weeks before I had to report to the nursing program. I have an amazing support system, and have been able to keep up with a heavy class and clinical rotation while breastfeeding an infant.

    My older boys are 4 1/2. It's hard work, and I couldn't do it without a lot of help, but in the end, I'm going to have my family and a career that I'm proud of and expect to find very fulfilling. Travel will wait a few years, and at times guilt for not being a SAHM (that's the predominant model in my family/culture) rears its ugly head. All of that rambling to say that if both family and career are important to you, you should weigh your options and go for it.

    Just because it's not advised to have a baby during your program does not mean it's impossible. I was told the first week of my nursing program that I should reevaluate whether it was the right time for me to be going after it. I refused to set those limits on myself, and I've been excelling. I think I spent a lot of my life waiting for things to "look right" or "fall into place," as if I would finally arrive at a place where life was orderly and went according to plans. I'm starting to realize that it never really happens. Life is constantly changing, and we need to adjust to it.

    Sorry, that's a lot of rambling, but I really feel strongly that we need to figure out what we want and go for it! Something unexpected always seems to be around the corner. Motherhood is messy and uncertain, but very rewarding.

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    611
    I am in similar situation to you, although I am slightly younger. I too have realised I want to work with children, which would require a PGCE and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years.

    I absolutely don't think you should forgo a career that will make you happy, our working lives are too long to be unfulfilling. I can't even consider the thought of being in a job I don't really like for 40 plus years, so know exactly how you feel.
    Maybe consider having a child whilst still in your current employment? You can have materinity leave and so on and then address your career goals?
    From my own family, I can see that having a child in what wouldn't be considered the most ideal time, isn't the end of the world. It won't stop you achieving what you want. It also taught me that trying to plan everything can lead to disappointment in one way or another.
    Whatever decision you make, I'm sure it will be the right one for you and your boyfriend. Best of luck

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,186
    I look forward to your PM!

    I wante to add a little more because I didn't really talk about my choices here and I thought it might help others by sharing.
    So, I have shared before that I got pregnant with #1 when I was in my first year of college. I was studying to be an actress at a very prestigious college. That was really my only career option/goal in my life so when I got pregnant I needed to make some choices quickly. I decided I needed to be home with my daughter and also allow my fiance to continue his schooling because his job would ultimately pay the bills...whereas my acting...who knows if that would ever go anywhere. I mean I always dreamed it would, but seriously...what are the chances?

    I worked while he went to school and soon we had two little ones (2 and newborn). I was not happy with my job at the time... I was working in customer service and it was just really stressful and I still had to do everything at home too. So DH and I got together and worked on our budget and options. Since he was a full time student, we could take out additional student loans to pay for housing and other expenses. This allowed me to become a SAHM. It was the best choice for all of us. We lived VERY frugally....we essentially had no income...we lived on student loans for 2 yrs until he finally graduated and earned money. (I did part time child-care in our home though) We got by very frugally though and we had no questions about TTC #3 when DH graduated. He was 26 and I was 23 at the time for reference. We were TTC for almost 2 years and nothing was happening. I was very content being a SAHM, but I always had that acting thing lingering in the back of my head. I decided to take a community theater (unpaid) acting job for fun since our kids were a bit older (5 and 3) and it only had me out of the house in the evenings. It wasn't my ultimate dream job, but it was definitely in the realm of my dream career. I continued doing community theater jobs until I got a few paid ones! Then I had a 2 yr paid contract! I thought my dream was "dead" but it wasn't. I seriously had given up hope...but not in a depressing way - in a positive "moving on to better things" type way. However, those years I worked in my dream-type industry were awesome! I did that until I got pregnant with the twins and quit working again. (and btw, we were never avoiding pregnancy during that time- I just didn't seem to be able to get pregnant then!) I'm now officially retired as I like to say and back to my full time mom job! I honestly feel like I appreciate and love being a mom even more now that I've been able to fulfill that other lifelong dream....even though the dream changed from how I always pictured it as a kid!

    I really believe we as humans, especially women, need to fulfill those passions within ourselves. They can be very empowering and impact other areas of our lives. If you feel passionate about working with children, you need to pursue that. If you are just seeking a different career path because your current one is not "permanent" and you are trying to explore what is out there you might enjoy... maybe it's not the right time to be planning everything around that one job.

    So, my lesson there is that sometimes you just have to go with the present and your gut feeling of where you are right now/in the present and let the future work itself out. Maybe an opportunity will arise where you will get to work with children and learn as you work-- or maybe you'll feel better able to go to school and be a mom at the same time. It's very hard to predict the future and know how things will play out. Believe me I do know EXACTLY how you feel though- ask Lemon... I am constantly chatting with her about things that "might" happen in 2-5 yrs and I have to stop myself and return to the present and just have faith that it will happen how it should happen.

    Regarding traveling while pregnant or with a newborn - this is so on my mind right now! My feelings are that I would not want to travel long distance (UK to Australia) past 4 or 5 months pregnant or with a baby that is under 6-8 weeks old. However, I would not hesitate to do so out of those windows. I'd also be fine going TO australia being 4 months pregnant, knowing that I'd give birth there or with a 2 month old baby, but I could understand a first time mom would be more nervous about that! Don't know if that helps any.
    Wife to one great guy
    Mama to six pretty ladies: Scarlett (12), Penelope (9), Alice (3), Fiona (3), Lucille (15 mo.) & Coraline (15 mo.)

    & 4 angels gone before us: Christian (7 wks), Amos (6 wks), Naomi (16.5 wks), & Hosanna (6 wks)

    ~We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.~

  5. #24
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    722
    There are tests you can take now to get a sense for your fertility. They will not tell you how fertile you will be in 10 years of course, but they can tell you if there are any warning flags NOW, which is absolutely essential information to have since you positively know you want a large family in the future.

    They basically test the "age" of your ovaries, and can tell you if your ovaries are about right for your actual age. This way, if you do have some issues, you are forewarned and can (re)examine this entire conservation in light of that information.

    You should ask your OBGYN about these tests, whether they are covered by insurance, etc. etc at your next annual visit.

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