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  1. #1

    Rude Comments About Pregnancy...?

    Have you ever had someone make a really vulgar or rude comment related to your pregnancy? I'm at 30 weeks, but I've avoided discussing my pregnancy with most people for a long time because I HATE it when people say, "Don't you know what causes that?" and then laugh because they think that's hilarious. I suppose this "joke" stems from the fact that this is my 6th baby and my 5th one is under 2. I am in my 40's and well-educated. Obviously, I know where babies come from. Anyway, the latest comment takes the cake, and I want to see what other people would think if it was directed at them: I posted something related to my pregnancy on facebook. It was a harmless, light-hearted post. I have only about 75 friends on fb, none of whom are total strangers, so it was like making a little comment among friends and family. Well, the mother of one of my son's classmates, who at one time was my neighbor, typed something about being surprised that I'm pregnant (she clearly missed my fb announcement) and then said my husband "must be shooting nothing but babies out of that thing". WHAT??? I was horrified and very embarrassed at the vulgarity of that comment. I wanted desperately to delete it, but it was stuck there for all my conservative and well-mannered friends and family to see. I trusted that no one would say anything that... nasty! Pretty much everyone I know is from the same conservative area, Bible-belt Texas, and I can't imagine anyone saying something like that to a pregnant lady in front of 75 people. Am I being silly to find that comment so offensive?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,186
    Sorry to hear about this. I know how upsetting comments can be...from strangers and especially from those you know. You aren't wrong to be upset about it. I hope it will blow over though and you can see her silliness and you are not hurt by the comment anymore. For the record, I think her comment was very weird and inappropriate. It was also rude to say something like that where all your friends could read it.

    I "only" (lol) have 4 kids, but I already get these types of comments. In general, I do not think people intend to hurt others. They often just don't know what to say or don't know how to face situations that are unique/unknown to them. I've learned the following:

    1. People try to be funny (either just to be funny/lighten the mood or to cover up that they are uncomfortable with something)
    2. A smile goes a long way for my sanity...instead of getting upset or trying to figure out what they are really trying to say or why they don't approve of my family... I just smile or say something simple like "yes, I'm so blessed." or "we love our family"
    3. People are stupid on facebook. They act out of character, post things they think others will enjoy/praise them for, and just overall don't treat it like a normal "real-life" conversation.


    I'd talk to the person who posted this comment directly. It's best to go to the source and explain why you felt the comment was inappropriate. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, I think your husband could talk to the lady.
    Wife to one great guy
    Mama to six pretty ladies: Scarlett (12), Penelope (9), Alice (3), Fiona (3), Lucille (16 mo.) & Coraline (16 mo.)

    & 4 angels gone before us: Christian (7 wks), Amos (6 wks), Naomi (16.5 wks), & Hosanna (6 wks)

    ~We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.~

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,112
    People like that are just showing their poor upbringing. Comments like that are distasteful and common. I would delete the post, with the view that your other 74 friends and family don't need to be exposed to a comment like that. If she asks just tell her you thought is was a bit risque to have on a site young people view.
    I am a bit of a sarcastic lass, I would probably boomerang back to comments about "not knowing what causes it" with an enthusiastic reel about how you are so excited because you are hoping for at LEAST 5 more after this pregnancy. (Let them do the age maths...) Watch their faces... LOL
    Oh my most hated pregnancy thing ever- the way people would feel they have the right to touch my belly without asking. Umm NO!

    emiliaj
    BABY GIRL FINALLY DUE 5 October after 2 Years of IVF
    Delivery booked: Debuting on or before 26th September!

    Current favourite "top" 3 girls names for little Miss: Phoebe Rose Eloise
    Other (MNs probably) we like: Matilda Madeleine Charlotte Eliza Violet Kate Jade Elizabeth Iris Scarlett Felicity Chloe


    Current (but never to be used...) favourite boy names: Oliver Thomas Henry William Alexander Flynn Liam Hugo Isaac Bennett Nikolai Reid Edward nn Ned Gus Tobias Austin Blake

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    845
    Unfortunately, that seems to be a very common attitude. DH and I recently told our friends we'd be trying for a third baby soon, and instead of congratulations, they laughed and asking if we even have a tv in our house.
    I have a lot of pregnancy pet peeves too. I remember when I was about 28 weeks, I ran into a friend of my moms, and she said "Wow, you are HUUUUUUUGE! You should be careful, you'll struggle to lose that weight!". I was like "I'm not fat, I'm two people."
    Sigh. Hope it gets better. Try to ignore the ignorant people and enjoy your pregnancy
    Proud Mama to Two Perfect Little Ladies.
    Big Girl, 25.04.2007
    Small Girl, 06.09.2011


    Wanting to be Pregnant & Hoping for a 2013 Blessing.

    Alice Victoria Primrose | Annabella Sophie Faye
    Noah Gabriel Joseph | Zachary Roman James

    Vote on my name list here.


  5. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    187
    My MIL has six children. She found that a great response to the whole, "Don't you know how that happens?" question is, "Yes, and we've gotten quite good at it, don't you think?"

    Honestly, I don't know what it is about pregnancy and babies that makes people just lose all sense of decorum. I'm also always amazed at how many medical "experts" there are out there....
    Proud Mama to Levi 8/21/10 and Eva 12/5/12

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