Nicknames - whats the big deal

[thetxbelle]

For the life of me I do not understand the take of nn's that some berries have like how it will make or break a name for them to not have one or how they wont use a name if it has one they dont like. All you have to say is "we dont call our child that so we expect you not to call them that either" or are people too passive to do this? Is it considered rude?

Personally I never even thought about nn's until I got on nameberry, I feel like they just come naturally and when people say "my name is ____ and I always wanted a nn but there arent any good ones for it" I think theres a good chance their parents didnt like nn's or for whatever reason no one bothered to give them one because Ive yet to see a name that could not somehow be nicknamed.

So can someone explain to me why it's necessary to preplan nn's as well as names?

[amberdaydream]

Well, you don't have to have a nickname - I don't. But nicknames are usually pre-planned because the name will have a standard nickname the parent dislikes. For example, if you name your child Elizabeth but don't like Liz, you can call her Elle, Eliza, Liddy, Lily or Buffy.

Like you said, nicknames can form when the person is older. I get the feeling that anyone who names their kid Seraphina isn't looking to fit in, which means that the nickname Sera is a no-no. To avoid this, they'd go for Phina/Fina, Fia or Fifi.

[rhiatayler]

I love names that have nicknames, because I like to have choices. Like if I were to name my daughter May, she wouldn't have any options to go by something else. I don't think nicknames are completely necessary; Some people just like the option it gives them though.

[ashthedreamer]

lol, I never thought people were making a big deal about it. I mean, I have a name with no nickname, and it's not for lack of trying. I wish I had one, but I am only ever Ashley with the people I know, and the majority of the people I know do have nicknames. When I look at nicknames I look at it from that perspective--I would like to be able to give my child a nickname, so it's just a part of looking at the whole name and seeing which nicknames I like, which I prefer with the full name, etc. If people don't like a certain nn it's a way to hopefully guide others into using the nn they prefer. I do think things evolve naturally but it's nice to have an idea as you're going into everything.

[dantea]

I've never had a nickname and when people try to call me Ang or Angie I usually say "no, my name is Angel, not Ang or Angie." I also know people with names that I didn't think could have a nickname and then they get one. Haylie at work gets called Hay-hay all the time.

Personally, I don't understand letting a nickname make or break a name. I like Raphael but I hate Raph or Rafe so just call him by his full name. Or, I'll call him Rex, which is part of the middle. I like having the option of a middle name I love, but loving the full name is much more important to me. I always hate to see posts on here when people say "I just want the nn Ally (for example) so what's a long name to use so I can always call my kid Ally?" Don't name your kid Allison if you don't like it an only want to use the nn Ally. Name her Ally. I feel the same about almost all nicknames. Don't name your kid Alexander if you only like Alex, Eliana if you only like Elle, Charlotte if you only like Charlie....

To me, nicknames are things that should happen naturally unless there's one in particular you don't want to be used. In which case, just don't use it and tell other people not to. If you kid decides to go by it later, that's their decision. At least you used a name you loved. You shouldn't let whether a name has a super amazing nickname or one you don't love push you away from the name you love.

[sabrinafair]

I don't like nicknames too much some are cute. I would like my kids to go by full first names no nns. Unless it happends naturally

[east93]

I see where you're coming from, and I kind of agree. But I don't really think people make that much of a fuss over it.

And to be honest, I don't see why parents should really. I mean, the name is not theirs, it's the child's.
And while mommy and daddy may hate the nickname Sera for their darling Seraphina, when she's older, if she likes it, she'll tell her friends to call her that anyways. And what will they do then? Ground her?

I understand the "I like Ally, but not that fond of Allison." dilemma though. Most parents want a formal name for their child has they grow up. So Allison nn Ally is a perfect compromise.

I view nicknames as important because it allows the child to use a different name when they want with out having to use something totally unrelated to their name.

[thetxbelle]

lol, I never thought people were making a big deal about it. I mean, I have a name with no nickname, and it's not for lack of trying. I wish I had one, but I am only ever Ashley.

I have a cousin named Ashley who goes by Ash, leelee and Ashes (she thinks its funny, I wouldnt be surprised if she came up with this one) so maybe your parents didnt like nn's when you were little?


Idk I think I have that mindset that pre-planning too much means you're making plans to enjoy life but youre not actually enjoying life because you have to get everything ready first. Thats never made sense to me.

[east93]

lol, I never thought people were making a big deal about it. I mean, I have a name with no nickname, and it's not for lack of trying. I wish I had one, but I am only ever Ashley with the people I know, and the majority of the people I know do have nicknames. When I look at nicknames I look at it from that perspective--I would like to be able to give my child a nickname, so it's just a part of looking at the whole name and seeing which nicknames I like, which I prefer with the full name, etc. If people don't like a certain nn it's a way to hopefully guide others into using the nn they prefer. I do think things evolve naturally but it's nice to have an idea as you're going into everything.

You could've been called Cinderella as a kid. Ashley, Cinderella.
Just a musing!

[cmarie3687]

My actual name is Caitlin, which I've NEVER liked. Ive been Caiti so long now that people are often surprised to hear my first name. I think Caiti fits me so much better and would like for my children to have options as well.