Your take on age difference

[nicole_1024]

Hi Berries!

I was just curious to hear your opinions on age difference. How many years would you want in between kids?

Personally, I would like to have my kids as close together as possible. Although I know it's tough when they're really little, I think it's best in the long run because they'll have close companions. I have a sibling who is ten years younger than me, and while I of course love him, I hate that age difference! I relate to him less, and I am far more like a parent than a sibling to him. I have another sibling who is three years younger than me, and we are closer.

Thoughts?

[lucykate219]

There are 4 and a half years between my DD#1 and DD#1. There will be minimum 2years between DD#2 and a hypothetical 3rd child. Ideally, I think 4 years is a good gap. I had enough time to enjoy DD#1 without my attention being elsewhere. Now that the baby has arrived, DD#1 is independent to do a few things for herself (brush her teeth, get into her pj's by herself) so that I don't feel like I'm taking care of two babies, if that makes sense.
So my ideal is 3-4 years for those reasons. I do see the benefits of having kids 1-2 years apart, but it just isn't for me. I don't think I'd cope very well!

[honeybee14]

I think about 4 years is ideal. My brother is 4 and a half years younger than me and we are really good friends and have never fallen out or argued Most of the time I find siblings with about 2 years between them fall out the most because they are at a similar age and stage in life.

[dantea]

I would never have children less than 2 years apart if i can help it. It can cause serious health risks for your children to have them too close together.

That being said, I will probably try to put 2-4 years between my children, if I can help it. My sister is 10 years younger than me, and that's never been a problem really. I love taking her places and getting to do all the kid stuff with her (she's 11) that I can't do yet. I feel like helping to raise her has given me a strong base for my own children. However, I do understand feeling like a parent sometimes.

So for me, 2-4 years it good.

[mommie23]

My oldest has one year , two year, three year, four year between her sisteres!

[kibby]

I am hoping, in an ideal world, to have at least 4/5 years between the first and second, and at least a 3/4 year gap between any after that That way I feel the child gets a lot of individual attention during the early formative years and the older children will be old enough to appreciate, understand and join in the experience of having siblings when they come along.

[mistyblue]

If I get to have two, then 2-3, but if more than two, maybe more than that. I have two little sisters who are 2 and 8 years younger than me. While I feel like we are bestfriends with my sister who's 2 yrs younger than me, I feel like there's a gap between my sister who's 8 yrs younger than me although I love her so much! But, it was really nice to have a "baby" sister as a child. I loved taking care of her and you know, from my own experience, having a baby who's a lot younger than your other kids make family really happy and warm.

[pink peonies]

I always wanted to have 4 years between children so that I wouldn't (ideally) have two kids in college at once. If our planning works out right, I will have #2 when my son is 4 1/2.
I am 6 and 10 years younger than my two brothers. I am very close to their wives and we all have sons the same age. We are all in the same stage of life and relate very well to each other even though we have the age gap. I also love the idea of letting each child have time to be the "baby" in the house.
But to each his own

[sibylla]

There is about 3 years between my two girls, they are good together and I think its a nice gap. It will be a 4 year difference between my youngest and the twins I am expecting, 7 for the eldest. But it shouldn't matter too much, the girls cannot wait to meet their new siblings.

There is a nine year difference between me and my eldest sister. Yes, there were tones of mentorship but we were and are still great friends.

[lucialucentum]

For me, I think about 4 or 5 years would be good. My one brother and I are 20 months apart, and my other brother and I are 6 years apart. 20 months doesn't seem like nearly enough... not that I noticed personally, but my two sets of cousins have kids who are 22 months apart, and then 2.5 years apart, and both those gaps seem too small for me, too. But the 6 years between my youngest brother and I is pretty big. We've only really been 'friends' for the past few years, whereas I've been friends with my other brother most of our lives (except for the 2 years where we couldn't stand each other in middle school, haha).

I like the idea of having a 2nd child when the first one starts school. I'd like to have 3 kids, though, and so even if I had a baby tomorrow, I'd be 35 by the time I had my last one with that time schedule... I kind of feel like if things go okay with having 2 kids, then a 3rd one might come along sooner than the 5 year mark.