I really love Cohen, but I don't want to offend people...

[littlelady]

I really love the name Cohen, which is a big deal in itself because I REALLY struggle to find boy names I love. I recentely asked why this name is offensive (THANK YOU for those that responded btw, it really helped) so I somewhat have an understanding of the name. I've considered spelling it Coen, which would then honor my German heritage, but I don't really care for that spelling. But maybe if I used it, I would learn to love the spelling? After all, it's the sound of the name I love.

I would love to hear some advice as to what you guys think I should do...just go with Cohen and not worry about it? Use Coen and hope that I someday fall in love with the spelling? Or just nix the name and look for something new?

[sheflieswithherownwings]

I'm probably going to be in the minority here but I say use what name you love, if you love Cohen then so be it. There are other Cohen's being born so your Cohen wouldn't be the only one in the world. If I'm being ignorant then I do apologise but I think there are far worse names you could choose!

Also, you wouldn't want to live with a life time of name regret? If he feels and looks like a Cohen then that's that I wouldn't search for a new name.

[allyfally]

I personally like Cohen, also. I guess Coen would work. Its only missing one letter. Also, what about just Owen. Sounds exactly the same, just without the c.

[whit32]

Possible offensiveness aside, I actually prefer Coen. I like the meaning better, and the spelling. I always have problems with words that have silent, or almost silent letters in them. Like Malcolm. I always want to partially say the last L. I know, I'm weird, but it makes me a little crazy. That is how I am with Cohen. Do you pronounce the H, or leave it silent, or sort of pronounce it?? It's anarchy, I tell you ;-) Ha ha, sorry for that. I just feel like Coen reads a little easier, plus, you avoid any possible problems that you or your son might have if his name is seen as offensive to others.

[poptart]

I wouldn't use it. Now that you know the meaning, would you really want to name your son that? If it is the sound you like, I'd go with Owen as allyfally mentioned. Coen can also be pronounced "coon" so I wouldn't use that either.

[ashthedreamer]

I love Cohen, too, actually. I think part of my love for it is because it feels unusable to me--otherwise I'm not sure I would love it so much. It has such a cool sound I love it just as it is... but my best friend and her whole family are Jewish, and I know it is highly offensive to them and pretty much all the Jews they know. I just respect them too much (and the history of Jews) to use it despite my knowledge. I think you could use something like Coen, Cowan, etc., which have similar sounds but not the same strong connotations for Jews, but I agree they lose something in translation.

I think @sheflieswithherownwings brings up a great point about regret--for her, it would be regret not using a name she loves. For me, I couldn't even consider it because if I used it, I would be absolutely full of regret for using something that is so offensive to so many people, and I doubt I could live with myself, since I know how meaningful Cohen is to Jews. Which regret would it be for you? I think that would be your answer.

I think there are names like this for every culture... I mean, I can't imagine considering Trinity or Messiah for a child, because those are just so completely sacrilegious to me, as a Christian. I'm sure there are other names that other religions would feel are highly offensive to their beliefs. I try to remember that the people choosing these names have a reason for doing so and 99% of the time it's not to offend--they just really like the name, or the name is meaningful to them. It sounds like that's how some Jews see Cohen, from what I've heard, but about half of the Jewish population seems to be highly offended by it, so that's something I just couldn't deal with. I do absolutely love it, though.

Good luck!

[sheflieswithherownwings]

Yeah, I completely agree with @Ashthedreamer there, completely depends how you feel. I mean I have no connections with the Jewish community and I don't know one Jewish person, obviously that isn't to say I won't come across any Jewish people in my life. I don't think I'd feel guilty for using a name I love, obviously if you would feel guilty then it isn't the name for you!

[juliet.a]

whit32- in English the 'h' is silent, but in Hebrew (and to many Jews in America) it's pronounced co-HAIN.

Personally, even as a person with Jewish heritage, I would stay away from this name as it is a last name for priests. I would equate it to someone naming their child Mohammed purely because of the way it sounds, not considering it's political implications.
It's a bit of a downer, I know, but it's just improper.

[jonothon]

Well, my opinion is that you will come into contact with some Jewish people, and are worried about it being offensive, then go with the sound you love and the spelling Coen. Or a similar name like Owen. If you don't care about offending anyone, then go with Cohen.

Personally, I wouldn't use a name that I knew would be obviously offensive to a huge group of people. I wouldn't name a child Messiah as that would offend the Christians, I wouldn't name my son Rabi (I think that's how it's spelled) or Cohen so I wouldn't offend the Jews, I don't want to meet someone with a son named Buddha as I find that extremely disrespectful to myself and my religion and what Buddha stood for. You get what I'm saying. It's your decision, but theres my take for you.

[pepperingram]

Personally I think you should go with it if you like it. It's was in the top 200 names in the USA, and it's #40-something in Canada! So clearly it's well known that this has now morphed into an acceptable boys name and isn't intended to offend. so unless you live in an area with a large Jewish community where the name Cohen is used a lot in regards to their religion and culture, what's the problem? Until this thread, I didn't even know that they were called that. Perhaps that's ignorance. But really its that I don't know many Jewish people to know that. Cohen is a common surname, so it's not like it is ONLY used as the name of a Jewish priest. Names evolve. Cohen isn't just a surname for Jewish people anymore, as the name continues down in families, and if the Jewish religion dies out from that family then it just becomes a regular surname. Which in turn becomes a popular boys name like Parker and Cooper.

I don't know. I just think that if I liked the name Cohen (i do, just not more than a lot of other names) then i'd use it. I don't think it's offensive unless you're in/around the community regularly, and you haven't considered the implications. Aside from that, all I see is that it could get a raised eyebrow in the Jewish community and perhaps get the tongues wagging. But if you're not Jewish, and you're unlikely to mix with Jewish people in a situation anything more than friendly passing, when would this offend someone? A name is a name, and I don't think Cohen is going to get the stiff upper lip like you named your son Adolf.