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March 9th, 2012 12:27 PM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
With my first, I valued my mom's opinion over anything (my ex was a dbag and away in the military so he wasn't around to ask). She helped eliminate some names since she couldn't pronounce them correctly (ex:Owen sounded like own)... BUT she did end up butchering my favorite name, Jensen, to the point that I threw it out and now I wish I hadn't. With my second my husband and I came up with our own names and let my parents throw in some suggestions, but ultimately made our choice and made sure we were 100% before telling them.
March 9th, 2012 12:36 PM #8
What I'm doing (even now not TTC) is I'm asking my mom what names she likes without telling her my picks.
I've found out her naming style is exactly the same as mine
So some of her names have been put on my long list!
I've decided that I'm going to let people know the style of names I'm looking at but never an actual name.
So many of my older cousins have had their names stolen.
Ex: My cousin Sarah had been telling people for years she was going to use Gracie and her cousin, on the other side of her family, ended up having a girl and said right to Sarah's face "You've been talking about it for years and I started to like it".
Last edited by ozdust; March 9th, 2012 at 12:38 PM.Auntie to Connor Douglas (June 2012) & Parker Isabella (Oct 2013)
~*Ariadne*Celeste*Esmé*Deirdre*Linnéa*~I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
My full list here. Please comment and I'll comment on yours
(Not currently expecting or TTC)
March 9th, 2012 12:58 PM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
I think it depends on your parents' personalities. We did talk about names with grandparents during our first pregnancy.
My father-in-law had zero interest in naming his own children, so he never contributed anything and never gave us any trouble about it. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, could be difficult. She would not contribute anything to the discussion, but if we had a name that she disliked she would argue with us about it and get very upset at the thought of us using it, so we stopped discussing names with her altogether.
My dad will never say anything negative about a name that we like, but he loves to throw in names that he likes, almost all of which are "yoonik" or made up. (I've started to think that my brother and I really have our mom to thank for our normal names).
I couldn't name a child without talking to my mom first. She is completely honest without ever being mean. I have mentioned some names to her that I know she did not initially like, but she always made an effort to understand why we liked it and to imagine it on her future grandchild and would learn to love any name we eventually decided on.
So if we ever have a third child, I will definitely discuss with my mom, but probably not with anyone else.
March 9th, 2012 04:05 PM #12
I think it entirely depends on the individuals!
For me, I personally do not think I will. But that is for a couple of reasons. Mostly, I would like the process of naming my child to be between just me and my man. To make it a bit more of a special event, I suppose. More meaningful And also, I have some very... opinionated family members. And I know that I will be deeply hurt if I tell them that we chose, say the name Eloise. And if they came back with a response like "Eloise? Like Ella wheeze?!". I know I'd probably start swaying away from it. And I want to chose the name me and my man think is perfect, not my parents / his parents. Also, I know they will back off once I have actually chosen the name and have stated it is staying, like after its born. If I say "this name is on the birth certificate, her mommy and daddy are in love with it, and look forward to calling her by so for the rest of her life", they will accept it and let it be
However, I think it can be really fun to include your parents / the future grandparents in the naming! They may even have a lot of names that fit your style.. and they could probably even suggest some family names you might want to incorporate! <3 I have a list of family names I've gathered from my mother so I could add them in!
I am still debating though. I know for sure I wont mention the name selection to anyone until it is set in stone... but I just might want to announce the name once it is set in stone, instead of waiting until the birth. But we'll see when the time comes!
EDIT: forgot to add! I'm thinking about possibly talking to my bf's family members about it. His mom is pretty cool, and I can't imagine her really knocking any of my names. I don't really ever talk to his dad about anything, so I'd probably just casually bring him up to date. His grandfather wouldn't discuss anything, but I bet he would help me find literary names if I want some! Me and him talk about authors and music and all all the time, so I bet he could bring up some awesome choices. And his grandmother, I love her dearly, and know I will keep her up to date. Me and my bf already decided that we were going to use her name as a middle name to honor her in our firstborn. But I think she'd look for the good in our names, and no one would end up hurt over names in talking to her! Though I almost feel bad to want to disclude my family members and not his :/ Tough decision!!
Last edited by caracakes; March 9th, 2012 at 04:19 PM.