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Thread: Male babysitters
March 7th, 2012 06:49 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
My son Emerson is 16 and we sometimes have him watch his younger siblings. I was having a mother-daughter date with my 14 year old daughter Evelyn, and my husband Liam had taken the other boys out to a baseball game ( Emerson hates baseball), thus leaving Em with his sisters, Bella,10, Gabry ,9, Vanessa,6 and Aela ,3, ( this is before baby Nolle came along). He 'got bored' so he invited his friends over. 3 to be exact. 16 year old Trevor, 18 year old Dane and 17 year old Emery. Then he went to wal-mart to get a movie from redbox, leaving his friends to watch his sisters for 'only a minute' i couldn't believe he did this. Em is a very responsible guy and i had to remind myself that, had this been Evelyn, it would have been fine. His friends were sweet boys who i know well, but wouldn't leave my girls with, just because i don't like having male babysitters for my girls unless they are family or i've known them since they were babies ect. what do you think? do you allow male babysitters?
ADDED NOTE: i'm not being sexist at all! I believe boys are JUST as mature as girls and are not all out to rape young children. I just do not feel comfortable leaving my young girls (especially my flirty 'i think i'm so grown up' 10 and 9 year olds) with teenaged boys when my husband or I am not there. This is not because we don't have trust for men or teenaged boys, we are just careful because there has been history in my family of sad occurrences that have made us more careful with your own children. Another note is that we know Emerson is a very mature young man who would never do anything that would disappoint us or hurt his sisters in any way! We do allow him to run around when he's babysitting ( but he takes the kids with him), so he thought that leaving his friends with the girls would be an easier thing to do. We have full trust in him and he continues to babysit his beloved siblings. We never mooch off of our kids and make them watch the younger ones, but we pay them as much as we pay a babysitter when they watch the younger ones, and we also use it as a way that they can earn a special something ( Emerson just got a new ipod and Ev just got a new cell phone) after they have watched the kids " " times for " " hours.
Last edited by kenzi; March 8th, 2012 at 03:24 PM.
March 7th, 2012 10:02 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Yes I do. I have a friend who has 7 kids and her oldest (16yo) has watched my kids for me on occasion. I am completely comfortable with that as he is responsible.
What I wouldn't allow is friends over while babysitting. I would also be upset if the babysitter abandoned his post for any reason. I don't allow friends as I think sometimes kids are a bit silly in groups and are less inclined to respect the rules of the house under observation from their mates. Besides they are supposed to be supervising children not socialising (I feel this way about chatting on the phone as well - too distracting),
I would not use a babysitter who left the house while in charge (I know it was one of your kids but still). I think this shows a lack of responsability and maturity. How well can he trust those left behind (and I don't mean not to hurt the kids but to be responsible for them)? The decision about who you leave your kids with is yours and not his and he has overstepped that boundary IMO.
Personally I would be looking for a bit more maturity before I trusted him to babysit again.
March 7th, 2012 10:18 PM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
I think the problem in this case should be that he left while babysitting and not that he left his sisters with three boys. Would it have been okay with you if it had been three girls? If so I think that is a problem that you have and you should think about it.
Do you think girls are more responsible? If so you're basically saying that gender defines responsibility, I think that ain't fair to anyone.
Does it have anything to do with them being boys and your little kids being girls? I think that would be even worse because that way you're basically saying that every male person is a potential pedophile (I really hope I'm guessing this totally wrong and that wasn't your worry)
Also after reading the PP I wanna say that I don't believe it even is his responsibility to watch his siblings. He is not the parent. I mean it's totally fine if he agreed and of course he then shouldn't leave, but I just feel like one shouldn't be too harsh on him.
March 7th, 2012 10:22 PM #7
I have no problems with it myself, but I agree with the poster above. As long as he is responsible. And I definitely wouldn't be okay with friends over... kids really do act different with their peers around. And especially if he left the house!! His friends may be responsible enough to make sure none of them get hurt, but it is still a very awkward situation. I would want my babysitter to babysit the way I always have, being interactive with the kids, responsibly and maturely. No sitting the kids infront of the TV and occasionally peeking over from Facebook... Actually spending time with them
and I totally agree with the previous poster as well in not leaving him to babysit again until he shows he understands your standards and will follow through with them. A bit more maturity
Hope this helps! <3
March 8th, 2012 01:22 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
So long as my babysitter is mature, responsible and approachable, I don't worry about gender. If they meet my requirements, I'll hire themProud Mama to Two Perfect Little Ladies.
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