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Thread: Discipline

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    196

    Discipline

    Discipline is a big deal in my house. My husband and i do not want unruly, rude and disrespectful children, so we crack down on them hard so that they understand that they are not in charge and so that they know how to live with other people. All our kids are really good at obeying for the most part, all of them, that is, but one. Dear little 5 year old Shephard has a mind of his own and loves to do what he wants to do. He is in afternoon Kindergarten and his teachers have come to us multiple times telling us that Shephard doesn't listen to the rules and, although he is not a bad kid or mean to the teachers of the other kids, he just doesn't listen and when they tell him to do something he pretends that he cannot hear them. My husband and I have tried everything we can to punish Shephard and teach him that he must listen to those in authority over him. We've tried spanking, time outs, groundings ( like not letting him play with his cars for the day or not letting him watch his earned TV time), we've kept him home from special events, made him eat beans ( the food that he cannot stand!) along with his other food for every meal. Nothing we do has worked. I'm at my wits end with my little bugger and i need help!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    845
    Why would you force him to eat something he doesn't like as punishment? That seems a little but cruel to me. I don't agree with spanking either but each to their own.
    My only advice is to be consistent. If he knows he's going to be put on time out every time he misbehaves, he'll be more motivated to be good. Consistency is the key!
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  3. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    245
    You might explore the possibilty of learning/cognitive difficulties. He may be a bit young to fully appreciate his learning style, but behavior difficulties often co-occur with learning problems, particularly when youngsters are not receiving the best fit for their abilities in school.
    Good luck,
    Lynae

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    100
    Well, I personally don't believe in making a child eat foods for a punishment. The food / food in general may start being associated with bad, in which it isn't. Though, it was pretty effective when my mother put tobasco sauce on my tongue when I was young for saying bad words. [to be completely honest, I cannot eat tobasco sauce or any many kinds of spicy things partially from the association. But its not really a big deal to me]

    I personally think consistency is all you can do. And make sure each punishment fits the crime! Like when my cousin starts acting out on his video games, the video games are taken away for the rest of the day. So then he knows that that behavior is not okay when playing video games, and there will be no playing those video games if he acts that way. I'm not sure exactly what he does, but if he just doesn't want to stop coloring so he wont listen, then I would take the coloring book away for a little while. Or if he wont come when he is called, maybe standing him in the corner for five minutes might help? It may, it may not.

    But I agree with the above poster. Maybe there is a learning / cognitive difficulty? You could try sending him to the doctors to have him checked out. Honestly, I think its better to send him in and come back with a no, just to rule out the issue, then to strain yourself when it could be not entirely his fault.

    Good luck, and hope this helps!

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    107
    This is tricky. No matter how many you have they are all different and all need a different approach! He is still very little really at 5 and there is a new baby in the house which can make even the 'best' kid need a little extra work.

    I would agree with the above re consistency but also try and double up on the love and time as well. For example if he is not playing nicely with his sibling then you could say 'come and sit in here on the floor near me for 5 minutes' so that he is being punished (missing the game) but also getting some extra time with you (still boring though not a reward) but once the time is up then you have him close enough for a chat or to redirect him into something usefull like emptying the bin or doing a little job that makes him feel special and like he is helping you.

    5 is hard from their point of view - not big enough to do the fun stuff but also not small enough to be the baby, wanting kisses and hugs but wanting to be grown up as well. My oldest needed a lot of extra love at 5.

    From you posts it seems that you have a lot going on at your place at the moment and it is normal for one child to be the lightning rod in a difficult situation. Do you think that some extra help for the whole family might help this little one as well?

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