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Thread: Children at weddings
March 5th, 2012 05:03 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Children at weddings
I'm sorry this is off topic but what is your opinion of allowing children at your wedding or not? How did you reach your decision? A friend of mine is getting married and in the early stages of wedding planning and I am trying to help her decide. Her brother's daughter is the flower girl and a family friend's son is the ring bearer, does that mean all of the other guests need to bring their kids? As a mother, would you want to bring your kids or not?
Her other idea is to maybe just have a relatively small (about 60 people, close family and friends) wedding and reception, then have a big barbeque with 300+ people a few weeks later, kids included.
Basically what I'm asking is for an opinion from a mom's point of view. Would you be upset if you couldn't bring your kids?
Thank you!!!Anastasia, Tessa, Marina, Stella
Connor, Rhett, Corbin, Grayson
March 5th, 2012 06:43 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I had a somewhat large (100+) wedding in a wedding hall and we included all of the children of our guests...not everyone brought along the little ones, but we gave them the option. I like kids at weddings cause they look cute dressed up, usually rule the dance floor and I just have always thought of them as *good luck* at weddings. That said- I would have been one of those parents who left the baby with a sitter- cause I would want to dance, drink, socialize plus my baby is tiny tiny and weddings are loud. But I would also love the option to bring baby just in case no one was available and it's nice to feel the whole family is wanted to be a part of the occasion. Even better is the lavish affairs that include childcare (not in my budget!) but that's a whole other thing.
I see the other side of it...if you are going for a sophisticated and quiet event that is intimate or super upscale or even sexy or if you want all of your guests to be focused on you and your love and various readings/toasts/long ceremony ect...well kids might not set the scene for you. I think it's a matter of personal style and what you envision for your wedding.
I was not a bridezilla at all. My main goal was to get all the people I love together and provide open bar and lots of food! I knew a lot of people might not be able to make it if I didn't include kids, plus I like kids, so it was an easy decision for us!
March 5th, 2012 07:18 PM #5Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
I think it all depends on the style/location/tone. If the wedding/reception is at a ritzy, upscale place, it may be better to not include kids (same goes with small spaces). However, if the location is large and a a more family-oriented location, it would be great to include kids. Either way, you're probably not going to please everyone so go with the option that suits you the best. If you do go with no kids however, you might want to work with the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer so they aren't sitting there bored the whole night. One idea might be to have a baby sitter come get the kids after the formalities (dinner, pictures, toasts, first dance, etc.) are completed. That way, the kids still get to feel a part of action as well as not be there bored with nothing to do. Whatever you choose, remember that this is your wedding and don't let someone else dictate they way your night will go.
March 5th, 2012 07:29 PM #7
If the couples with children can afford a babysitter then I think it would be better if the children did not come en masse, just a few select ones eg flowergirl. If however you know it would put a monetary burden on a couple (close family) then invite them all.
To include the crowd ie distant relatives and friends and their children have an afternoon tea set up in the church hall so that this lot of people can enjoy mingling with the other guests for a while and then the reception guests would move onto the reception and everyone else would go home.
You would need to make up two different sets of invitations one the casual one and one for the reception guests.
March 5th, 2012 07:38 PM #9
When I married I added up the number of children and they were 50% of the guest list. I decided not to invite children to the reception.
As a mother I sometimes had to decline events when I had no babysitter available. So some people may decline to come for that reason.
Ultimately I don't think many brides or grooms want children playing 'tips' around the wedding cake at the reception venue, throwing tantrums on the carpet during speeches or crying babies over dinner.
If you invite children you have the whole 'children at adult tables' or 'children only tables' problem. Personally I HATE child only tables as I can't adequately supervise my child/ren. One option is to offer a sitter and adjacent room for parents- but that all adds up.
If it were a very informal family outdoor type wedding maybe kids could be OK. A lunch wedding might work with a few kids- ie less than 8.
I think even the darling cute bridal party kiddies get bored and tired by dinner time and it is often better to have them go stay with a relative from the 'other' side of the family.
One exception: breastfeeding babies should be permitted.
So, hmmm... I LOVE kids, I am a teacher. But at a wedding reception? Not unless they are the children of the bride and/or groom.
At the ceremony? For sure, but at the discretion of the parents.
emiliajBABY FINALLY DUE 6 October after 2 Years of IVF
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