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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,823

    Children at weddings

    I'm sorry this is off topic but what is your opinion of allowing children at your wedding or not? How did you reach your decision? A friend of mine is getting married and in the early stages of wedding planning and I am trying to help her decide. Her brother's daughter is the flower girl and a family friend's son is the ring bearer, does that mean all of the other guests need to bring their kids? As a mother, would you want to bring your kids or not?
    Her other idea is to maybe just have a relatively small (about 60 people, close family and friends) wedding and reception, then have a big barbeque with 300+ people a few weeks later, kids included.
    Basically what I'm asking is for an opinion from a mom's point of view. Would you be upset if you couldn't bring your kids?

    Thank you!!!
    Anastasia, Tessa, Marina, Stella
    Connor, Rhett, Corbin, Grayson

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    I had a somewhat large (100+) wedding in a wedding hall and we included all of the children of our guests...not everyone brought along the little ones, but we gave them the option. I like kids at weddings cause they look cute dressed up, usually rule the dance floor and I just have always thought of them as *good luck* at weddings. That said- I would have been one of those parents who left the baby with a sitter- cause I would want to dance, drink, socialize plus my baby is tiny tiny and weddings are loud. But I would also love the option to bring baby just in case no one was available and it's nice to feel the whole family is wanted to be a part of the occasion. Even better is the lavish affairs that include childcare (not in my budget!) but that's a whole other thing.
    I see the other side of it...if you are going for a sophisticated and quiet event that is intimate or super upscale or even sexy or if you want all of your guests to be focused on you and your love and various readings/toasts/long ceremony ect...well kids might not set the scene for you. I think it's a matter of personal style and what you envision for your wedding.
    I was not a bridezilla at all. My main goal was to get all the people I love together and provide open bar and lots of food! I knew a lot of people might not be able to make it if I didn't include kids, plus I like kids, so it was an easy decision for us!

  3. #5
    I think it all depends on the style/location/tone. If the wedding/reception is at a ritzy, upscale place, it may be better to not include kids (same goes with small spaces). However, if the location is large and a a more family-oriented location, it would be great to include kids. Either way, you're probably not going to please everyone so go with the option that suits you the best. If you do go with no kids however, you might want to work with the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer so they aren't sitting there bored the whole night. One idea might be to have a baby sitter come get the kids after the formalities (dinner, pictures, toasts, first dance, etc.) are completed. That way, the kids still get to feel a part of action as well as not be there bored with nothing to do. Whatever you choose, remember that this is your wedding and don't let someone else dictate they way your night will go.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,657
    Quote Originally Posted by encore View Post
    I'm sorry this is off topic but what is your opinion of allowing children at your wedding or not? How did you reach your decision? A friend of mine is getting married and in the early stages of wedding planning and I am trying to help her decide. Her brother's daughter is the flower girl and a family friend's son is the ring bearer, does that mean all of the other guests need to bring their kids? As a mother, would you want to bring your kids or not?
    Her other idea is to maybe just have a relatively small (about 60 people, close family and friends) wedding and reception, then have a big barbeque with 300+ people a few weeks later, kids included.
    Basically what I'm asking is for an opinion from a mom's point of view. Would you be upset if you couldn't bring your kids?

    Thank you!!!
    I think that if people have babies and need to feed them and pamper them because they are so young then it wouldn't be kind to exclude the baby because you would probably be excluding the parents too.

    If the couples with children can afford a babysitter then I think it would be better if the children did not come en masse, just a few select ones eg flowergirl. If however you know it would put a monetary burden on a couple (close family) then invite them all.

    To include the crowd ie distant relatives and friends and their children have an afternoon tea set up in the church hall so that this lot of people can enjoy mingling with the other guests for a while and then the reception guests would move onto the reception and everyone else would go home.

    You would need to make up two different sets of invitations one the casual one and one for the reception guests.

    rollo
    Psalm 23

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,134
    When I married I added up the number of children and they were 50% of the guest list. I decided not to invite children to the reception.
    As a mother I sometimes had to decline events when I had no babysitter available. So some people may decline to come for that reason.
    Ultimately I don't think many brides or grooms want children playing 'tips' around the wedding cake at the reception venue, throwing tantrums on the carpet during speeches or crying babies over dinner.
    If you invite children you have the whole 'children at adult tables' or 'children only tables' problem. Personally I HATE child only tables as I can't adequately supervise my child/ren. One option is to offer a sitter and adjacent room for parents- but that all adds up.
    If it were a very informal family outdoor type wedding maybe kids could be OK. A lunch wedding might work with a few kids- ie less than 8.
    I think even the darling cute bridal party kiddies get bored and tired by dinner time and it is often better to have them go stay with a relative from the 'other' side of the family.
    One exception: breastfeeding babies should be permitted.

    So, hmmm... I LOVE kids, I am a teacher. But at a wedding reception? Not unless they are the children of the bride and/or groom.
    At the ceremony? For sure, but at the discretion of the parents.

    emiliaj
    BABY GIRL FINALLY DUE 5 October after 2 Years of IVF
    Delivery booked: Debuting on or before 26th September!

    Current favourite name for our little Miss: Phoebe Eliza Grace
    Other (MNs probably) we like: Rose Eloise Matilda Madeleine Charlotte Eliza Violet Kate Jade Elizabeth Iris Scarlett Felicity Chloe


    Current (but never to be used...) favourite boy names: Oliver Thomas Henry William Alexander Flynn Liam Hugo Isaac Bennett Nikolai Reid Edward nn Ned Gus Tobias Austin Blake

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