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February 21st, 2012 04:15 AM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
I definitely can identify with the ache of wanting (or even needing) to be a mom. Also, i have stopped worrying about what's the best month for a baby to be born and if I'd like a boy first or a girl or even caring whether or not i ever have at least one of each. When i imagine never having kids, it makes me feel so very empty and sad. Every once in a while, i will say to my husband that maybe we shouldn't have kids, just to see how that feels/sounds but it just seems so ridiculous to me to imagine never being a mom. I cry when shopping for baby gifts for friends or when i see one too many pregnant women at the mall!
February 21st, 2012 07:33 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I'm not sure I should answer this, but I will anyway.
My first child wasn't planned. I was 18 when she was born. I had said throughout my teenage years that should I accidentally get pregnant I'd put the baby up for adoption for sure, because I didn't feel in the slightest bit maternal.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked. So shocked I just sat there without speaking for 2 hours.
But when I started thinking about my baby growing inside of me, a result of the love between my then boyfriend (now husband) and I, I knew I'd go to the end of the world to protect her, provide for her and love her. And I knew I wanted to keep her more than anything.
Even though I didn't make the decision to have a baby voluntarily, when presented with the facts, I felt pain at the thought of giving her away. I wept at the suggestion of adoption from my parents. I fought against every stereotype out there so I could prove to our baby that the best place for her was with us. And I knew that if my DH didn't want her, that I wouldn't care. I'd raise her myself, I wanted her that bad.
What I'm getting at is this. Imagine you found out 5 minutes ago that you're pregnant. Imagine that you don't have your own place, you don't have very much money and raising him or her might be hard. If you think you'd want to keep him or her, your ready. If not you need more time.
Best of luck
Last edited by lucykate219; February 21st, 2012 at 07:36 PM.Proud Mama to Two Perfect Little Ladies.
Big Girl, 25.04.2007
Small Girl, 06.09.2011
Wanting to be Pregnant & Hoping for a 2013 Blessing.
Alice Victoria Primrose | Annabella Sophie Faye
Noah Gabriel Joseph | Zachary Roman James
Vote on my name list here.
February 22nd, 2012 06:32 AM #15Phoebe Eliza Grace arrived after 2 Years of IVF
February 27th, 2012 03:13 AM #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Kibby, I feel almost exactly as you do. Even the ages are the same! I also have been working with kids and even though it's great experience, I just think, I wish I could earn money raising my own and they'd be, my own! I'm wondering if as a nanny we think that we have to be just like the parents of the kids that we work with, and take all this time for ourselves and buy expensive nice things for them, etc. I'm not saying you dont have to save up because I am doing that too, or that the parents of the kids you work for are necessarily like that. But i have been asking myself the same question. As soon as I pay off my college loans, I'm going to br trying to buy a house and have kids, and will I be in that same stress that I am in now? Hopefully my husband will have a real job by then, but this still has been bothering me as since we got married I have been earning more money than he does and when we have kids I wont be in that same position. And I want to travel too!
What ariennew and other PPs said is very helpful. I feel like every day the time comes closer and those worries seem to diminish and I know everything will be okay. And it's comforting to know that we will still be able to do some selfish things after we have kids too. My parents drove us a lot of places and I dont know how they did it with 5 of us but I will be forever grateful for those family memories. And kids do love staying with Gma and Gpa once in a while! . I always look back on moms that I admire and how content they are with their lives. They recognize the full time job that being a parent is, but they take time to smell the roses and enjoy the moments with their kids and themselves. I know people who started while both were studying. Not my personal choice but I'm saying that it's possible and they dont reget it at all! And dont feel like you will be too old either! As a christian, I take comfort in praying and knowing that God will help me know when the time comes. I think he doesnt mind me having baby fever for a little while so I will appreciate being a mom just that much more. You will know when you are ready. Best of luck!
Last edited by amenspanglish; February 27th, 2012 at 03:19 AM.Baby Hernández is due Nov. 22!!