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Thread: Bullying

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010


    Hello everyone,

    Here's one for mums with older kids. My eldest son has recently been refusing to go to school which, with a bit of prompting, he admitted was due to bullies picking on him. He's 8yrs old and has always been a little bit different from the other kids: very bright, into arts and dance etc. We've discussed it with the school who weren't aware it was happening apparently... Has anybody else had this experience with their kids and found anything in particular that helped them cope?

    Thankyou all, Elinor

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    While I don't have children of my own, I experienced bullying first hand. I can say that things that helped me best were:
    1) Support from my parents who reassured me that being bullied doesn't me there's a problem with you, but the bullies themselves
    2) Having an outlet where I was able to build positive relationships with other people. (Girl Scouts worked for me, but any club or activity should do the trick)

    I can't say that either of these things will help with the current problem at school, but they helped me to build confidence in myself and take back control from my bullies. Eventually what they said or did didn't matter anymore.

    I wish all the best for you and your son.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Norwich, England
    I am not a mum (I'm 13) but I have been bullied a lot in the past year. What helped me and hopefully will help you and you son is that you just need to have a quite chat with just you and him and talk to him about what is going on and ask him if he ever tells anyone at school. I was (and sometimes still am) verbally bullied it was probably because I was of school because I was really ill in 2011 for 4 months. I was often called Harry or Hannah Man just because it rimed with my real name. You might want to have a chat with one of his teachers but bring him along to. I hope that has helped
    Benedict, Sacha, Rafferty, Kingsley, Lincoln.
    Indiana, Waverley, Dakota, Oakley, Avery

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Pensacola, Florida
    First, I would contact his teacher to find out what is actually happening in the classroom. Do you know where the bullying is taking place? Often times it is an uncontrollable area, such as the lunchroom or PE. All schools are mandated now to deal with bullying immediately. The next contact is the school counsellor. Then you should ask your son what he would like to happen. Is it one child or a group? Would he like them to just stop? Would he like them to be friends? What does he want them to do? Can he imagine a scenario in which he could tell them exactly what he would like and how they might respond in a positive way.

    You said that your son is artistic. Is he being accused of being gay? Is there one field he is more talented in in a way that the other kids might be jealous? My son was bullied for many years because he had a slight speech problem, and he seemed "different". It didn't really end until he discovered an incredible talent for acting, which resulted in his starring as Prospero in The Tempest at 18 in a major theatre. Still, even in the theatre there were some kids who still tried to bully him. Eventually he made peace with himself and he has mentored other children. I would suggest contacting your local anti-bullying organisation for specific suggestions, and then making sure that he has at least one safe outlet for friendship and acceptance, whether it's a dance or music class or whatever. The most important thing is to let him know that he's not alone and that the bullying will end. If the school does not cooperate, take him out. I am a teacher, but I am also a parent, and sometimes there is nothing to do but remove your child as a target. Only you can assess how serious this is. I hope this helps.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Thanks everyone, We've already contacted his teacher/school and they are "dealing" with the kids involved - sounds painful! (and to some extent I hope it is....). He never told anyone for fear of being picked on more. It seems to be mainly naming calling and general exclusion - yes miloowen, he has been accused of being gay which may or may not be true, but seriously what 8yr old really knows... Apparently it happens whenever no-one with authority is watching. He just wants them to stop and leave him alone. He has always been very introverted and there was a time when he was younger when we wondered if he was autistic/aspergers - apparently not though - he can communicate well but he prefers not too. He loves to dance but is getting to the age now where some of the girls in the class are making comments about him being the only boy - he's not bothered by this at the moment but I can see it being a problem if his confidence gets any lower. I was mainly wondering if anyone found anything in particular however small to help boost his confidence. Thanks for all the advice.

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