Name stealing

[jc06]

Name stealing... Has it happen to you? How worried are you about it until your baby arrives? How close is too close for comfort when it comes to someone using your name of choice? Do you mind if someone else on a message board uses your name?

[saraallison]

It has happened to me! I vented about it in another thread. We were pg w/ our first 4-5 yrs ago and openly told our girl and boy names to our fams--didn't find out sex of baby, so we had a couple top girls' names and boys' names lined up. Our girl name was Lily (paired with 2 diff mns). Fast fwd 2 yrs, and my SIL (DH's bro's wife) took the name for her 1st girl; no "hey, how much would you mind if we...?" or "heads up, we're using your name." I found out from my MIL who was very upset about it all too. It took me a long time to get over (doesn't help that this SIL is pretty rude in general). To top it off, she also tacked on Anne to the name (Lilly-Anne) which we were also planning to use to honor my mom and DH's mom. At first I felt like we couldn't even use Anne anymore, but I'm over that, and we are using it in some way with our coming baby girl. The funny thing is, they had a little boy just over a yr later and used the same name another family member had used within the past yr for HER baby boy--so weird! Now the joke is whenever anyone in the fam has a baby, DH and I say, "Well, I guess SIL has her name for her next child!" since apparently she would rather steal others' names than think up her own!

This time around, we have not breathed a word of our names to that entire side of the fam, including DH's parents, just to be safe, and never will again! We've both been a lot more cautious with telling ppl in general, and are just now starting to tell a few ppl (and she's due in 2 wks!) what our top names are. However, I do NOT mind if ppl unrelated to me use the same name as us. That doesn't bother me; I figure it's just life. I am not looking at obscure names that no one else will ever pick, so I figure I have to expect that.

[east93]

It has happened to me! I vented about it in another thread. We were pg w/ our first 4-5 yrs ago and openly told our girl and boy names to our fams--didn't find out sex of baby, so we had a couple top girls' names and boys' names lined up. Our girl name was Lily (paired with 2 diff mns). Fast fwd 2 yrs, and my SIL (DH's bro's wife) took the name for her 1st girl; no "hey, how much would you mind if we...?" or "heads up, we're using your name." I found out from my MIL who was very upset about it all too. It took me a long time to get over (doesn't help that this SIL is pretty rude in general). To top it off, she also tacked on Anne to the name (Lilly-Anne) which we were also planning to use to honor my mom and DH's mom. At first I felt like we couldn't even use Anne anymore, but I'm over that, and we are using it in some way with our coming baby girl. The funny thing is, they had a little boy just over a yr later and used the same name another family member had used within the past yr for HER baby boy--so weird! Now the joke is whenever anyone in the fam has a baby, DH and I say, "Well, I guess SIL has her name for her next child!" since apparently she would rather steal others' names than think up her own!

This time around, we have not breathed a word of our names to that entire side of the fam, including DH's parents, just to be safe, and never will again! We've both been a lot more cautious with telling ppl in general, and are just now starting to tell a few ppl (and she's due in 2 wks!) what our top names are. However, I do NOT mind if ppl unrelated to me use the same name as us. That doesn't bother me; I figure it's just life. I am not looking at obscure names that no one else will ever pick, so I figure I have to expect that.

Oh man. I'd be beyond furious. I'm sorry that happened.

[kmw1975]

It has happened to me! I vented about it in another thread. We were pg w/ our first 4-5 yrs ago and openly told our girl and boy names to our fams--didn't find out sex of baby, so we had a couple top girls' names and boys' names lined up. Our girl name was Lily (paired with 2 diff mns). Fast fwd 2 yrs, and my SIL (DH's bro's wife) took the name for her 1st girl; no "hey, how much would you mind if we...?" or "heads up, we're using your name." I found out from my MIL who was very upset about it all too. It took me a long time to get over (doesn't help that this SIL is pretty rude in general). To top it off, she also tacked on Anne to the name (Lilly-Anne) which we were also planning to use to honor my mom and DH's mom. At first I felt like we couldn't even use Anne anymore, but I'm over that, and we are using it in some way with our coming baby girl. The funny thing is, they had a little boy just over a yr later and used the same name another family member had used within the past yr for HER baby boy--so weird! Now the joke is whenever anyone in the fam has a baby, DH and I say, "Well, I guess SIL has her name for her next child!" since apparently she would rather steal others' names than think up her own!

This time around, we have not breathed a word of our names to that entire side of the fam, including DH's parents, just to be safe, and never will again! We've both been a lot more cautious with telling ppl in general, and are just now starting to tell a few ppl (and she's due in 2 wks!) what our top names are. However, I do NOT mind if ppl unrelated to me use the same name as us. That doesn't bother me; I figure it's just life. I am not looking at obscure names that no one else will ever pick, so I figure I have to expect that.

It happened to me, and I also vented about it in another thread. I'm sure it is far worse when the person is related, but I had an unrelated friend "steal" my name and I am still pissed and I'll tell you why. I told her the name - Elle - before either one of us was pregnant, while we were discussing the possibility of future kids. Almost 9 months to the day after this conversation, she had a daughter and named her Elle. Now, what makes me so mad about this is that this friend happens to have the same last name as us and we have several mutual friends, so now, if I were to use the name I picked out, there is already a child with the EXACT same name! I can just imagine the way people would talk about me if I named my baby Elle now, as if I copied HER! Also what kind of irritated me was that she never even said she liked the name when I mentioned it. Well, she may have in a polite sort of way, but she never said, "Oh, yeah, I LOVE that!" or gave me any sort of indication that she would be interested in using it. It was just, all of a sudden she has her baby, and guess what? Her name is Elle. I was completely stunned. Not to mention all the Facebook posts I had to read complimenting her on her beautiful name!

What's worse is that this is not a close friend of mine, yet I STILL can't use it. We see them maybe once a year, so she probably saw nothing wrong with using a name that I had mentioned. These are friends I know through my husband. HE has known them since he was a kid. They are friends with ALL of the people that we know from my husband's home town, so even though she's not a BFF of MINE, they're still too close for me to comfortably use it, especially given the last name. If our last name was different, I could probably get away with it. Now, I am pregnant and I can't use the name I picked out. Seriously, why can't people think for themselves?

[ashthedreamer]

It hasn't happened to me. I have never really been worried about it as I don't plan on adopting until three years from now, and when I do adopt, I don't plan on sharing the name until I bring my child home, so it would have to be a horrible coincidence for that to happen. Usually I don't have a huge fit if someone likes my favorite names... They're all relatively popular. Thankfully, my siblings aren't major fans of my top two for each gender (Isabelle and Arianne for girls; Caleb and Jack for boys), and I don't really have close friends who are expecting right now. I really could care less if someone on a message board wants to use Isabelle, Caleb, or Jack... They're all fairly mainstream, and I certainly haven't staked a claim on them, lol. Arianne I'm a bit more protective about, since very few people talk about it and I've loved it so long, and it's relatively unheard of (even though Ariana and Arianna are just as popular as my other favorites).

As for a whole combo, though, I would be pretty upset if someone used my whole combo. Recently someone on another board posted that she was falling for Isabella and Aurora and loved the idea of Isabella Aurora or Aurora Isabella... She knew one of the other members (didn't mention me by name, but I'm fairly vocal there that my favorite girls' name is Isabelle Aurora Grace, and I'm really the only one who LOVES Isabelle and Aurora there) loved Aurora, and she didn't want to name steal if it bothered me. At first I was honored, but after I thought about it more, I couldn't help being really upset... True, I don't have a daughter with that name yet, and I might not have a daughter with that name in three years (face it, lol, I might be married then, with a husband who hates the name... Besides, my style could change drastically by then!), but despite Isabelle's and Grace's popularity, Isabelle Aurora Grace has come to be mine. At least, I feel that way. I've googled the name many times, and the ONLY time I've seen Isabelle and Aurora together are when I've posted about my beloved Isabelle Aurora Grace. There might be another one out there, somewhere, but it's not on the internet. It represents SO many important things to me, and even though I said it was okay that she could use Isabella Aurora if she loved it, I really, really hoped she changed her mind. I don't want to be the person that claims a name as my own, but my combos in themselves are what feel special about my names, since my favorite FNs are all relatively popular (or have extremely popular counterparts!). I think I would be just as upset if I found out someone on a name board used Arianne Eleanor Kate, Caleb Elias Joseph, or Jack August Cole--or any of my other huge favorites. I think I'd be much more upset if someone stole my exact Isabelle, Arianne, Caleb, or Jack combos, since they mean so much to me, personally.

[shellezbellez]

My best friend thinks it would be "cute" if we have babies with the same name. I made the mistake of telling her one of my names and she loves it. She's also married and much closer to having a baby than I am--but I've chosen this name in honor of my mother. I'm really, really hoping she doesn't do it. Really. I think I would be very angry.

[bex]

I have not experienced this, but I think that if there is a name you love and plan on using, make it known. I've got 2 sisters and I have told them the names I want to use, and they were cool with it. Luckily there were no clashes! I had this discussion with 2 family friends who are sisters (my mum and their mum are close friends) and I was actually really surprised wiith their behaviour. One of them would not breathe a word of it, and the other one told me but didn't want her sister to know, in case she 'stole' the name. I had no problems telling them the names I plan on using. One of them was like "Nope, no one tell so we can't say that they were stolen", to which I said that I have no doubt that my child will not be the only Rose, for example, in existence, and as long as one of my sisters doesn't use it (or my brother in law, if and when he has kids), I will. Couldn't care less if a cousin or aquaintence or friend uses it first, I've already told them what I plan on using and if they decide to copy or were also planning on using it, so be it. As I said before, my child will not be the only person ever to have that name. But part of the reason why I feel that way is because I do not care if someone else uses the same name; I am not going to be deterred from using the names I love and my husband and I agree on because another person has used it. If someone on a message board wants to use the name, great! Means I've got good taste (good enough that at least one person likes a name of mine, I mean!).

[east93]

I haven't had that yet, but my cousin in England did name her daughter Alexia a few months ago, which I've decided to name my daughter for about...3 years? now.

My cousin had no idea though, no one in my family does so it's not like she stole it. At any rate, I intend to still use it. I've never actually met my cousin, and we love across and ocean, AND her daughter will be about 6 years older than mine at least.

My Aunt-In Law insists that her neighbour hijacked her name for her son (my cousin) Jett, because a little while later she named her daughter Jetta. I don't think that's the case, but who knows.

[charliemum]

Not quite the same thing but we had a bit of name stealing which still infuriates me. When our son Charlie was about 6 months old our neighbours called their new puppy Charlie. Why would you take the name of your neighbour's child for your dog? Charlie the dog is quite yappy and misbehaving and our Charlie who is closing on 3 still looks up a bit confused when they are yelling something like 'stop that Charlie' at the dog. I'll never understand.

[arreisenlaluz9]

This is probably just a bit of cattiness on my part, but I recently found out a "friend" is stealing the name of my best friend's daughter. Granted, it is Abigail, which I think is ranked number 7... but stillm we all know each other from school and church and its like... can't you come up with something more original?! Oh. The kicker... she blocked me and my best friend from her facebook right before announcing the name. SHADY!

I probably just feel so enraged because I did not like this girl much to begin with.

Other than that... I sort of stole a name from my sister, but it was just one she came up with to honor our aunt and she didn't end up using it. She assured me it is all mine and now it is on my short list!