Results 6 to 10 of 11
December 1st, 2011 09:09 PM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
It is completely understandable why you would feel that way! It is hard to see another person have a baby especially when you want one so much Two of my sister-in-laws both were pregnant this year (2 months apart) and it was tough. The shock will fade eventually though. Like what other people said, I would definitely talk to your husband about how you feel. I bet it would help I'm sorry you are going through this
December 1st, 2011 10:18 PM #8
I've had so many of those feelings before. Seeing everyone after college getting married and pregnant, I was so jealous. I'm married now and was expecting to be the next in line for having a kid in my husbands family. I was sure my husband and I were going to have the second grandchild. And both of my sister-in-laws who were not wanting kids or trying for them both got pregnant less than two months apart! Im right there with you, it is frustrating. And like you, we're having to wait for things to be more financially feasible. But it's helped me to think, with all the anticipation for having a child, it will be that much sweeter when it happens. And it all depends on what you mean by financially stable. Sometimes its more possible to have a kid on a tight income than you think. You can save money by not buying fancy furniture for a nursery, by using cloth diapers, breastfeeding in stead of using formula, etc. Like the other posters are saying, definitely talk to your husband, and I personally would talk about ways to tighten ya'lls budget so that you can get to what ever you think "financially stable' is for ya'll faster. Just to throw this out there, maybe this does not apply to you but I'll say it anyway, always a good thing to remember is that things don't have to be exactly the way you picture in your mind, like your idea of perfection or the ideal situation. It would be nice, but if you and your husband decided to have a baby earlier than he planned, it wouldn't be the end of the world would it? It might not be as easy as you'd want, but life seldom is, in my experience.
December 3rd, 2011 04:19 PM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
As others have said, your reaction is completely normal! I have felt that exact way a few times (when a co worker got pregnant, and when a friend got pregnant while I was suffering through an ectopic pregnancy - which was horrible). My only other advice is to talk to your DH about your desires. I had the same problem with my DH, but I told him this is what I really wanted, and now that I am expecting he is so EXCITED. There is no right time to have children, and I honestly believe that you will never be financially well off enough for children (meaning its easy to say, maybe next year when we have this, or we'll wait until we can afford that). Obviously, it's not responsible to get pregnant if you are unemployed or living way under the poverty line, but both you and DH are employed AND you own a home, that's great! It's farther ahead than many, many parents today. I am by NO means saying get pregnant if your not ready, or truly believe you could not take care of a child, but just not to wait too long. We're having our first, we're both employed and own a (very small) home, but my DH is still in school part time, and will be for a while. I know it will be tough at first, but not impossible by any means. Most importantly, it's WORTH it. Nothing that is truly worth it in life is easy right? It will happen eventually, so just embrace your feelings, and be prepared to learn from any of your friends mistakes/benefit from her new baby knowledge once your expecting!Mama to Theodore Adler Emmett "Theo" born April 2, 2012
*Louisa *Felicity *Gwendolen *Clementine *Rosalie *Philippa *Lavinia *Beatrix *Wren *Eugenia *Florence *Primrose
*Percival (Percy)*Augustin (Gus) *Arthur (Ari) *Frederick (Fritz) *Dashiell (Dash) *Winston *Felix *Walter *Henry/Hendrick *Edwin *Rupert
Guilty pleasures ~Pomeline, Peregrine, Delphine, and Ferdinand
December 16th, 2011 12:22 PM #12
Don't be ashamed! This is a perfectly natural reaction. You really should discuss and re-evaluate things with your husband if you feel this strongly about having a baby in the near future. The pull to be a parent is a powerful force, and at least you are both college educated and already have a house. My husband and I were living pretty tight when we decided to do nothing to prevent a pregnancy last year. We didn't have a house or much money then, but we have made it and I couldn't be happier that we made that decision. Now, we do have a house and though we're still living pretty much month to month and have to make sacrifices, it has been so very worth everything to have our daughter in our lives. I agree that you should discuss your feelings with your husband and then see what happens when your husband holds your niece/nephew for the first time. Until then, hang in there and best wishes to you!☮&❤,
Momma of Fiona Ryann & Michael Quentin & #3 due April 2014
~*Sylvie, Viveca, Gloria, Rosalie, Eulalie, Aimee, Irie, Daisy, Xaviera, Celia*~
~*Silas, Finnegan, Desmond, Ezra, Cedric, Felix, Lionel, Lazarus, Kai, Xavier*~
January 8th, 2012 05:08 PM #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Carlsbad, CA
Do not be ashamed! I feel this way often these days ... I had to comment on this post for the reason that I was just complaining to my husband about the same thing. We haven been TTC for quite some time, I will be seeing the doctor this week, and am hoping to get some real answers. In the meantime, girlfriend after girlfriend have announced their pregnancies. While I am so happy for each and every one of them, it makes me feel sad and like there is something horribly wrong with me. We have been married for 4 1/2 years ... we both want this very badly, and it hasn't happened yet.
Talk to your hubby ... he will understand why you are feeling the way you are. Also, I agree with a PP ... once he holds his niece/nephew in his arms, he will want to go home and start baby making with his baby mama!
I would also encourage you to think of this as a trial run and a way for you to see the pregnancy/birth process without having to go through it yourself. Our very best friends are expecting their first bundle of joy in a few months. I am so excited to be "Auntie" and to see my girlfriend go through the process and to help her with it as much as possible. In a way, I am happy they are going through it first - it will be sort of educational for us!
I hope that helps!!!