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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5

    Asking for gifts without a shower?

    My husband and I live 4000 miles from our families- in Alaska.

    I won't be able to fly home before the baby is born to have a shower, and I think it would be silly for them to have one without me. But obviously I want all my family & friends to know we're expecting (especially those not in the Facebook loop) and I know many will want to send us gifts.

    I have a registry set up for everything we'll need- so I also want to communicate that (I know some would appreciate getting us things we need instead of having to guess).

    My thought is sending a pregnancy announcement in the mail to everyone- making it clear that we are not expecting gifts, but listing our registry info for those who want it.

    Do you think this is rude? My family is pretty laidback and nontraditional so I don't think they'd be offended. But what do you think?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    258
    Congratulations!

    Personally, I wouldn't put the registry info on the announcement. I'm really not that into traditional etiquette stuff but I think if I got a pregnancy announcement with registry info on it I would think they were fishing for gifts (and adding the text "no gifts necessary" wouldn't negate that).

    I'd send the announcements with your address and email address somewhere on them (maybe the bottom or even the back). That was someone can either send you a gift or email you and ask if you're registered anywhere. Also give your registry info to a few other people that you're close to (maybe your Mom? MIL? sister?) in case people ask them if you're registered anywhere.

    In my experience the people that like shopping off registries know to ask or know how to look up your name and popular registry locations. The ones that like to pick their own gifts aren't going to do anything with the registry info anyway.

    Good luck to you! I hope you have a good support system in Alaska since your families live so far away!

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    1,538
    When I first read the title, my thought was "that's rude." After reading the rest of the post, I don't believe it is rude. I like the idea of sending out announcements. I would just say something like "while we are not expecting any gifts, we would appreciate you looking at our registry if you'd like to help us with our newest arrival." which is essentially what your thought was.

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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
    Posts
    158
    Congratulations! I dont think its rude at all, infact I think its ideal since your families aren't close to you. It allows them to be doting (grandparents love to dote) without having to guess or worry about making travel plans. a simple "if you wish to send gifts, please look at our registry for things we need for our new arrival." It gives them the option and a place to start without being demanding. I think its a great solution.
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