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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    193

    Loved Ones Dealing with Cancer Diagnosis

    My mom just found out yesterday that she has breast cancer. This news couldn't come at a worse time. My little brother is graduating from high school this weekend and my mom is trying to get everything ready for his graduation party. Also with me being 18 weeks 3 days pregnant I'm scared about what the future may hold for her and how much she can be involved with my pregnancy now. I have read that sometimes when people are going through chemo and radiation they really can't be around women who are pregnant...but I'm going to need my mom more than ever now! She's my biggest supporter.

    We don't know any specifics yet. We do know that the cancer is called invasive duct carcinoma one of the most common forms of breast cancer. She found this lump her self on the under side of her breast about 2 weeks ago and its been a whirlwind of tests since then. She went for a mammogram last Tuesday where they found 3 spots. Then she had to go back last Friday and get the more extensive mammogram and ultrasound of the three spots. Then this past Tuesday she had a biopsy on 2 of three spots (the surgeon and radiologist didn't think one of the spots was worth cutting into because it was almost too small to biopsy). The one large mass is the cancer (I guess its about 4 cm wide) and the spot on her lymph node is benign so the doctor says its a very good sign. She now has to get a MRI so the doctor can have a clearer image of the mass which will help her decide what my mom should do next when it comes to her treatment (lumpectomy or mastectomy are both possible options).

    I didn't know if anyone here who may have been previously pregnant has gone through having a loved one going through cancer treatments and could share their experience? Any information would be super helpful! I also posted this in the Oct-Dec 2015 Babies Due thread so sorry if you have seen this before!
    Emily Anne
    25 year old teacher & name lover
    Married: 10/29/2011
    Expecting baby #1 October 2015
    Mommy of two little dachshund girls
    Bree Anne & Addy Lynn

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,592
    I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and your family at this really really horrible time. If there's anything any of us can do, I'm sure we'd all be happy to help in any way. Sending lots of thoughts and hugs your way.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    193
    Thank you for your kind words! I haven't even told my mother yet about my fears of not being around her if she gets treatment (she may not even realize this and I don't want to devastate her even more) I know I need to contact my doctor about it before I say anything for sure. Its just a time in my life that I want my mother as involved as possible and I know if she's sick she will need her rest so she can get better. If there is a restriction about me being around her while pregnant I will be so upset too because I don't want her to have to go to her treatments alone. I want to be with her any way that I can.
    Emily Anne
    25 year old teacher & name lover
    Married: 10/29/2011
    Expecting baby #1 October 2015
    Mommy of two little dachshund girls
    Bree Anne & Addy Lynn

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,407
    I'm so sorry you're all going through this. Definitely talk to your doctor about possible restrictions. I wish I had more information for you. Sending thoughts and prayers.
    Mom to James Daniel (10) William Joseph (9), Elise Marie (8), and Zachary Allan (1)
    http://letterstoauntkay.com/

    #5, coming in mid-Sept 2015--TEAM BLUE!
    Thomas (middle), Paul (vetoed), Henry (vetoed),
    (Miles, Arthur, Samuel, Seth) = "meh"


    Current short list: Andrew, George, Calvin, Theodore 'Teddy'

  5. #9

    Ive been there

    I went through a very similair situation. My grandmother raised me. And she found out she had small cell lung cancer my senior year of high school. And she battled that cancer for 3 and a half years. When i found out we were expecting my older sister was in the process of planning her wedding. We live in california and my sister lives in oklahoma with her husband. Anyways at that time the doctors were very optimistic with her progress this was in the fall of 2013. My grandma was so worried about her health even though she was up and about busier than anyone else in the family she just hd a feeling i guess. She was constantly worried about making it to my sisters wedding which was in april. I was so confused because the doctors said she was good and she looked fine. She was always so worried about everyone else. And from the second she found she was sick she wasnt scared for herself but for us kids and grandkids. Because of that i didnt tel her i was pregnant i was just waiting for a good time. Now i have always been back and forth with my weight so she couldnt really tell she thought i was just getting heavy plus i didnt get very big from my son. Anyways As winter came around she started not feeling as well the doctors said it was due to a blood clot in her lungs which they figured out and took care of. But at then of march her doctor kind of brought up the wedding and said she would make it there but after that he couldnt make any promises. Sitting there in that room hearing that was hard but i always stayed optimistic in front of her. We went to the wedding hd a great time. Came back home and made our last trip to stanford when they told us it had spread to her brain. At that point she said she didnt want to fight anymore it was time to enjoy the time she had left. At the point i was 7 months pregnant. The day before i had my son was the day she couldnt make it downstairs so i took care of her all day and went home that night and cried and cried and cried. Then my water broke at 2 in the morning and i gave birth to kaleb allen potter at 626 am. They made us stay in the hospital for three days since he was alittle early. Even though she couldnt get out of bed she was so worried about me calling me. Even though my dad and sisters were taking care of her. Ill never forget the look in her eyes when i walked in her room holding kaleb. She got to see him everyday for three weeks. And everyday would say how perfect he was and happy she was for me.
    As for her treatment i dont think it should effect you in anyway if it does it would be the radiation but you can ask your doctor or her radiation doctor.

    The thing about cancer is you never know whats going to happen with it. My other grandma my nana had breast cancer and beat it with no one knowing she was sick. Myadvice for you is dont give up. You have to stay optimistic. You have to be strong for your mom but know that when you hurt shes there to talk to about it. I know this is cliche but seriously cherish every moment of life. My grandma getting sick brought her and i so much closer together. And remember anything can happen. Your family will be in my thoughts. If you need anything let me know.

    Kate

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