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Thread: Max amount of kids?
February 14th, 2012 11:14 AM #76Member
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- Feb 2012
I think 4 is a good number. Im the middle child, hav 2 sisters and always wanted another one and hubbys no 2 of 4 brothers. We've said at least 2 coz we don't want an only child. I think it'll depend on finances and a lot of other factors. Saying that were trying for our 1st now and having problems so if I'm lucky enough to hav one I'll be over the moon!
I've always seen myself fostering aswell
February 14th, 2012 09:52 PM #78
I plan on adopting in about 3 years, whether I'm happily married or not. Sooner if I get married earlier, hopefully.
If I stay single, I'll probably stop at 3 at the very most. I would like more than one but I don't know if I could realistically deal with more than two children while still being single and working full-time. If I marry, I would love to have five children, maybe six.
February 16th, 2012 08:47 AM #80Junior Member
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- Feb 2012
I grew up as an only child. My husband was one of 3, but they were all 6 years apart between them. I refer to that as 3 Only Children.
We never set an amount of children we desired to have, yet we never set out to beat any records either. There were certainly times when I felt D.O.N.E. and unable to effectively mother more children as well as be the wife I wanted to be. The transition to 3 was especially trying. However, each little person has taught me more about myself than I ever dreamed to know. Every time we've gone through a difficult season with pregnancy or newborns, I've grown and become stronger. Each time we are faced with difficulties regarding finances, I've learned more and developed skills I never thought I could to make the dollars stretch. Every sacrifice we've made has been more than worth it. We may not have every material thing we've ever dreamed of. We've certainly set aside some desires for pleasure to be sure everyone has shoes. But, I'm getting older now and I realize that when I look back on my life, I will rejoice that I lived it for something bigger than myself.
Eight children wasn't our goal, but we are blessed for the privilege of doing it. We still have not come to a point where we see a clear reason to decide we are finished. I'll be 38 when our next baby is born, and with our spacing, it isn't likely we'll see more than 1 or 2 more children enter our family. So, like the Duggars, (and, no, it is NOT our dream to be the Duggars. Just the best family WE can be. ) we know we can trust His plans for us. We've definitely had time to prove it! *giggle*
And, as a side, when I had my third and was feeling completely undone trying to handle a newborn, toddler, and a starting Kindergartener, I listened to the advice of a mother of 13. She shared that her most difficult season was when she has 3 and 4 children. They were all young and all the work was on her plate. As the grew older, they became part of the team and shared the load. She is right. My teenagers are a complete gift to me and make adding more children even more enjoyable. In fact, THEY are the ones who push for more babies!Momma to eight of my favorite names.
Elizabeth Anne, Joshua Bryan, Benjamin Joseph, Ruth Catherine, Susannah Joy, Verity Grace, Honoree' Faith and Kindred Promise due in May.
February 16th, 2012 10:26 PM #82Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Jakarta, Indonesia
We want at least three, and maximum of five.
I really want a boy though, so if we have five girls, I might adopt a boy.
February 28th, 2012 09:50 PM #84Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
I'm glad I found this thread. If you would have asked me 15 years ago, I would have said that 3 kids was my max. In fact, our decision to have a third child was a really big deal. We always say that God has a sense of humor because our "third" child turned out to be twin boys. After that, we adopted a baby girl from China, and then when we didn't want her to be the only non-caucasian in the family, we adopted another girl from China. Then came three from Haiti, another from China, and two from Ethiopia. (If you're keeping track, you'll know that's 12). When we brought home our 11th and 12th from Ethiopia, we KNEW we were done, done, done. I had no desire to have or adopt another child and was starting to look ahead to my grandma years! Then one day, I found myself staring at a picture of another little one in China, and I just knew she was ours. And that's why I'm here - she may be the 13th child, but I want her to have the most special, amazing, wonderful name that lets the world know that she's our little miracle.
Anyway, I digress...
I have no desire to have as big a family as the Duggars, but I say if they can do it and do it well, more power to them. Even though it was never in our plans to have a big family, I'm SO grateful that we do. There are some parts about it that are hard, but there's a heck of a lot more that's just awesome. We have a good time, and our kids are each others' best friends. Yes, they fight like all siblings do, but they also get along a lot better than my sisters and I ever did. My younger daughters are always planning slumber parties together - they watch movies, do each others nails and hair, do some sort of craft project, and play games. My little guys are always riding their bikes together, wrestling, playing with their trains and cars - you name it. My older kids go out with the same groups of friends, but are also content to hang out with each other.
We're careful not to let our older children take on too much adult responsibility, but they do take turns babysitting on Friday evening so my hubby and I can go out on a date. We do this faithfully every week, and it keeps us from getting bogged down. I'm a SAHM, so I take care of most of the household responsibilities. I'm highly organized, good at managing my time, and keep everything running based on routines. I think this makes all the difference. Because I've been forced to get good at these things, I think I'm a more attentive and effective mom than I ever was with four, and because I no longer work outside the home, our kids get more one-on-one time with me than when we had a small family and I was working.
I know a family the size of ours wouldn't be everyone's idea of perfection, but it works great for us and I wouldn't change a thing.