Sibling spacing? what do you think?

[nicunurseamanda]

My brother and I are 6 years apart. We have always got along and been close. I was sorta like a second mother (I begged my mom for a sibling and loved to help out with him). My mom did complain about having to re-enter the baby stage. We never had a problem finding things to play together. There was never sibling rivalry because I got to be the only child for six years and so I let him be the baby for 18 years (his current age). I think 6 years is a perfect amount of time between kids - from a "kid's" point a view. I probably wont space my kids this far because I want more than two, but we'll see.

[bnoelle]

My mom got married at 19, had my oldest sister 10 months later, had my next sister 22 months later, had my third sister 15 months after, and then got divorced. Fast-forward several years, she remarried and had me. My sister are 16, 14, and 13 years older than I am. Sure we've had issues and argued and I was a spoiled brat at times growing up, but I feel like I was, and am, the luckiest girl in the world. I'm 26 now and have had nieces and a step-nephew since I was 16. I grew up with 3 old sisters who loved me, spoiled me, took me everywhere they went, and let me watch scary movies and what most would consider to young of an age. I always say I had four moms. My mom and my sisters. And now I have 3 built in best friends. They may have grown up and had jobs, and moved out, but I was never left out. All three of them made a point to include me in things and make time for me. They'd pick me up from school and spend time with me whenever they could. I feel like I had it really good. And now I have nieces who are my world, and a really cool 19 year old nephew who I've watched grow from an 8 year old little boy. I've loved getting to be there when my nieces were born, spending all my free time with them, and being for them what my sisters were for me.

All in all, I'd say spacing is a personal choice, based on life circumstance and there is no right answer.

[aj_bear]

As previous posers have said, it's based on experience. I'm not a mom yet, but I do have a little bit of experience in my family.
I'm the middle child of three, and my sister is four years older then me, and I'm about 3 1/2 years older then my little brother. When I was born, my sister had become accustomd to being a spoiled only child, so it took her years and years to get used to me. And then it took another few years for her to like me. We weren't really friends until we got our own rooms, and I was nine.
As for my younger brother, we stil don't get along. He was always getting more attention, and growing up, my grandparents clearly favored him more then me and my sister. He also had a few issues, so he was always being coddled and I didn't like that. I'm fifteen, and he'll be twelve in January, and I still think he's immature, and irritating. Maybe when we get older we'll like eachother.

So, I think that it's all in choice, and your own experience.
Best of luck,
-Athena

[vetty]

My sisters are 17 months apart and my parents say that it made things easier when they were young. They always had someone to play with and were never bored. However, being so close together did make them very competitive as they got older and caused some tension.
I was born when my sisters were 3 and 4. They were old enough to understand the big sister role and help out a bit with the baby. Growing up I did feel left out and was a bit of a pain to my sisters. As we have got older the gap has closed and I don't feel much younger at all! I have never felt competition with my sisters and have grown a great friendship with them, especially the older one, whilst they have grown apart. (They are still friends but not as close as they were then they were younger)

I think there are pros and cons with any spacing as I have seen in my own family. Do what feels right for you and focus on being the best parent you can!

[jaci]

I don't have any kids (not for many years) but I'm the youngest of two. My brother is exactly 2 1/2 years older than me and we've never gotten along. Growing up it was terrible sibling rivalry and we still don't get along. I'm not sure if it's the age gap or our personalities but we're at similar stages in our lives (college) and it's not getting any better. I think it might've been easier had we been closer in age because our best friends as children were also 2 1/2 years apart and they fought all the time too. Most people I know that are have 2 years between their siblings and them don't seem to be friends. Sorry if this bummed anyone out. Just my personal experience.

[mjeezy13]

This is a question with no right answer. My brother and I were 2 years apart and were the best of friends, yet I've seen siblings with the same spacing that fought all the time. I've seen kids far apart in age who were super close, and others who barely knew each other. There's really no way to predict since, of course, each person is their own individual. Our daughter just turned one and we are now ttc #2 because I want them pretty close in age since it worked out so well for my brother and me, but there's no way to predict if it will work out as well for them. Just do what feels right for your family.

[dayken95]

I have no children but I can just talk about my experience. My sister is 2 1/2 years older then I am and we have just became somewhat close now at 16 & 19. But I feel as though it's our personality not our age difference which is the cause of that. We absolutely would fight like cats & dogs up until now. The age difference between my first youngest sister is a little over 5 1/2 years & my youngest sister and me are around 7 years apart. They are 18 months apart and seriously are the best of friends, of course they fight like siblings do but honestly they are practically attached at the hips(though they wouldn't admit that lol). My relationship with my younger siblings is more as a parent then a sister and I don't feel "close" to them in a way. I think my youngest sister have the best age gap!

As for when I have kids, I want a big family so keeping them close together would be ideal. I would love my younger sisters gap of 18 months or maybe even a smaller one, so 15-18 months sounds the best for me.

[lucykate219]

My two girls are 4yrs and 5months apart. We plan on TTC again in January, and should I be blessed enough to get pregnant during our first cycle, there will be between 11-13months between our youngest two.
You may not be happy with their spacing now, but that could change over time. Best of luck!

[klcalder2]

I have two that are 15 months apart and it is so much easier than I was told it would be. I think that it also has a lot to do with your kids. Every child is different and will react to a new baby differently. My daughter is madly in love with my son and I feel like they'll be close as they grow up. I would love to have another child, but I think I want to wait at least 3-4 years before we try. After my daughter was born, I thought we would space them 4 years or so apart, so I want to stick closer to that for my third.

However, as pp have said, there is no right answer. I'll get back to you in 4ish years and let you know how that spacing works out

[amandachristine]

My brother and I are almost 3 years apart and we are best friends now (I'm 26 and he is 23 right now). We fought when we were little but now it's great, we even hang out as couples (me & hubby and him & his fiancé). I can't wait for them to get married! I hope that my younger children will be close in age to their children, so they can be close with their cousins

On the other hand my DH is 6 years younger than his sister and he is not close with her at all. We have nothing in common with her partly because she had her only child 9 years ago and has always been in a "different" place than my hubby. I find it hard to connect with her and I think he does too. It makes me sad, because I wish he had the relationship that I have with my brother, with his sister.

Anyway, that's my experience and thats why we are going to try and have our children as close together as possible (I'm pregnant with our first right now)