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Thread: Don't know what to do...
October 10th, 2011 12:13 AM #6
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't tell you what do do because every situation is different. Here is my mother's story.
My mother and sisters were in a car in the 60's with no seat belts, long story short my grandmother and my mom's sister Jennifer were killed along with 2 others. My mother, Denise and sister Kristin were the only 2 that lived. My mother's father was different then Kristin's father and left long before my mother was even born. So my mom and Kristin went to live with Kristin's father. Unfortunately he was an alcoholic. They lived with him for a few years and eventually were put in foster care for a month until the most wonderful person in the world, my great aunt came to rescue them. I have 3 great aunts and 2 great uncles and only one was kind enough to come and get them. I will forever be grateful to my great-aunt, who I even call my grandmother because she was the closets my mother had to a mom because her's died when she was so young. I was able to see all my cousins and still be apart of my family and I would not have had that, neither would my mother have had that had not my grandmother come. That being said money was tight, they already had 4 children and taking in Kristin and Denise was a lot for them but from the stories I have heard my mother and aunts LOVED growing up together and were best friends because they were all so close in age.
This decision has to be very tough on you but even though my "grand parents" had a tough time they made it through and now we have a big loving family and I have 21 cousins that I can so easily go to. Do whatever feels right for you but I just felt like sharing this story with you because it was somewhat similar.Alec James, Silas Gale, Dashiell West, Elliot Grey, and Miles Alexander.
Looking forward to the day we give our boys a little sister.
October 11th, 2011 01:14 PM #8Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Thank you for being so supportive, and understanding. Your opinions are appreciated and your stories have really helped.
The second meeting went well, and we after several chats, and pro/con lists we decided to take the children on. I know it will be very hard, and exhausting, but I just couldn't let them go into foster care. They have been in our care for just over a week now, and things have been good, not fantastic but not terrible. The baby has fitted into our family easier than I expected, he's younger than the twins, but only wakes one or two times a night.
The one year old is harder, she's clearly distressed. Parenting a nearly two year old is so different than a baby and I feel woefully unprepared. However, she's starting to become more affectionate with me, and with the babies, so I have faith that she'll settle down in her own time.
Going from two children to four overnight, and with all of them under two was quite a shock. It is exhausting and overwhelming but I feel feel like we made the best decision for everyone, and I can't wait till they're older to see how their relationships form.
As this is a naming site, I'll share their names. Although I don't love them, they seem to suit their names and I wont be able to change them until they're legally ours and I'm not sure if and when that will happen and if I want to change their names at all. They're called Emm@ Ro5e and Willi@m TyIer, although he's always called Li@m.James Orion and Charlotte Maia (27/4/2011)
October 11th, 2011 02:46 PM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- United States
What a wonderful thing you are doing Spunky! Those children are lucky to have you. Best of luck with your newly expanded family.
October 19th, 2011 11:42 AM #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
Wow. I am in tears! Spunky - YOU are an amazing woman and these babies are lucky to have you. Someday they will understand and know what you have done for them. You have given them the greatest gift in the world: a family.
My husband has the best advice. It is the same every time I ask, yet I always forget and always need to hear it. Whenever something unforeseen happens, he tells me the best thing he ever learned in school: ADJUST AS NECESSARY.
So simple. Adjust as necessary. We never know what will be thrown our way but there is always a way to adjust. You will be a wonderful mother to these children and sure enough you will wonder how you ever lived without them.
Fyi, I have a 28 month old and a 9 month old, with #3 on the way. If you ever need to vent, send me a private message on here. My ears are always open!
October 19th, 2011 08:34 PM #14
Wow Spunky, I read this post when you first put it up, and have been checking back for an update. Congratulations on the two new little people in your life. I can only imagine the challenges you are facing right now, but Frenchie is right (!) you will all adjust, and hopefully soon, life will settle down.
All the best to you, your hubby, and your 4 kiddos