The birds and bees...

[dollymixture]

Hello,

So, this came up through one of my other posts... It may be a little bit personal but I was just wondering when you told your kids about sex or when you plan to? And how you did or plan to? Were you completely straight with them or did you use a particular analogy?

We have always been straight with our 2yr old daughter about the subject. She knows where babies come from in a fair amount of detail and the difference between girl and boy parts (both of which came up when her brothers arrived!). However, we have encouraged her to only ask questions about it at home though as we know other parents wouldn't be comfortable with their little ones knowing that much.

Just intrigued about how other people handle this subject with their kids?

Thanks, Dahlia x

[lyndsayjenness]

Hmm, I haven't had to deal with this yet, my son is not yet two. I plan to be open with him about it all though, but I guess I'll probably use analogies, I don't know. I mean, he already knows what his parts are called, but when it comes to telling him where babies come from I imagine it's hard for a little one to understand in scientific terms, but maybe not. I'm straight forward about everything else, so I guess I will be with that.

I know that I WON'T handle it the way my parents did... Which was not ever talk about it at all. They didn't purposely make me feel embarassed, but I never felt like I could ask questions about that stuff. They never had a sex talk with me or my brother at all. I didn't even tell my mom when I got my period because she had never once mentioned it and I thought I'd get in trouble. So I will make sure he knows about things, and I'll volunteer the information, not make him ask for it. I'd rather he be the one in school who knows the truth and tells it to his friends instead of the one who thinks when a girl kisses a boy a baby comes out of her armpit (what my best friends mom always thought) or that it's impossible to have a baby if you're not married (which my very religious neighbor thought up until 8th grade... Dangerous).

[jayjoh]

This topic is a very interesting one in my household....I'm fairly sure my two oldest (they'll be 8 and 6 this year) understand the basics of "where babies come from" since we've had the talk with them. We've chosen not to really discuss anything with our middle daughter (almost 4) until she asks more specific questions. Haven't had the talk yet with our infants, lol. Anyway, the thing is, we're gay parents and all of our children were born through surrogacy. We couldn't really use the "well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much..." scenario, since it doesn't apply to our family. We tried to keep our discussions as factual as possible, but since our kids were around 4-5 when they started asking questions, it was pretty difficult for them to grasp. I guess we'll see where to go from here - we have every intention of being 100% honest with our children.

[sadiesadie]

We are a Christian family so when the time is right we will discuss the facts of life and explain what God would like us to do with our lives and selves. I honestly believe that a lot of parents give children way to much information and detail at too young of an age.
I will probably do the same thing that my parents did with me because it worked.

[gwensmom]

I think it's important to give as much factual information as possible (for the level of understanding of the child) about menstruation for girls and other personal issues boys face so they are not embarrased or think something is wrong. The actual 'sex' part could be a little more vague as long as the essentials are shared - religious beliefs if any, safety, etc. But I think lyndsayjenness is right that sometimes the holes we leave out cause dangerous misperceptions for the child.

[seriouslykidding]

I am struggling with this right now as I am 8 months pregnant and I have a 7 year old daughter. She does ask questions once in a while and I have been able to give her vague answers that seem to satisfy her for the moment. I am worried about the questions that will come once the baby is born. How did he get out, how did he get in there....I don't want to lie, but I don't know if I am ready to give all the details on conceptions and birth. When my son (who is 12 now) was little he used to think that babies came out of our belly buttons...I guess I could always tell my daughter that.

[clivehills]

Most children learn about it through school. When I was in 4th grade, and 6th grade, and many other grades, we were taught what happens, why, and how. (The girls and the boys were seperated.) I first learned about it in second grade, when this little boy told me all about everything. I remember being disgusted. 2 is a little early for kids to know about it. When my little brother was younger, he used to asked, "What are those humps on girls' chests called, Mommy?" and he'd say, "Wait, girls don't have this part that I have?" I'd say that learning about it too young can really mess up your kids thoughts (I've met some really young kids that speak very inappropriately), but learning about it too late isn't good, either. Third-Fourth grade is a good time, maybe a little earlier.

[kjwalton9]

With Alec I haven't started, he is only 6, I intend to make it clear that I will answer any questions he has but so far it seems as if he doesn't care. He once asked where babies came from and his 5 year old brother chimed in with, "From momma's belly, duhh!" I talked to him when he went to bed and explained that "Momma and Daddy created a baby together from love." I feel as though he doesn't need to know at 6 about sex. It seems young. I think 8 or 9 is a good age for that.