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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    2,540

    Re: Family naming predicament

    Any way you look at it, you have dibs on the name Willa for this baby, fair & square. Don't feel guilty about that. Technically, whoever has their baby first is free to name her Willa. Not only are you having your baby first, you also stated your preference first for the name. You are doubly qualified to use it. It was a courtesy to mention it to your cousin's wife ahead of time, since she now has the rest of her pregancy to consider other girl names. Since one (or both) of you might not even have a daughter, whoever has the FIRST daughter should feel free to use it. Maybe you can clarify that fact to your cousin's wife. It will be fate that decides.
    Mother of three teenagers: (1) Daniel Glen, (2) Timothy Austin, and (3) Rebecca Jane. All middle names honor family, with Jane used three generations in a row. (A second girl would have been Susanna Eve.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    1,671

    Re: Family naming drama

    Quote Originally Posted by elea
    Well, firstly I think it's lovely how generous your cousins wife is and how well the two of you are handling this. So many times these situations can turn nasty.

    I think you should use Willa if it feels like the "one" for you, especially as she has given you her 'blessing' so to speak. It wouldn't be rude because you have both already discussed it and you know that she is fine with it.

    However, if you have a boy, I think your cousin will/should use Willa if she has a girl (and wants to use it). Just the fact that she asked you to let her know if you changed your mind shows how attached she is to the name as well, and while she seems happy for you to use the name, how would she feel if she couldn't use Willa even though it wasn't being used just on the chance that you may have a daughter in the future? It's one thing to let someone have a name if they are expecting a baby; it's another thing entirely to give up a name because someone is saving it for a possible (but not definite) future date.

    I agree with this. Both of you are handeling this very well. Good luck.

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Seattle, USA
    Posts
    206

    Re: Family naming predicament

    Even if you have a boy and your cousin ends up naming her baby Willa, you will still get to "use" it all the time--whenever you see or talk about your cousin's daughter!

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    198

    Re: Family naming predicament

    I agree with the consensus. Both of you seem to be very understanding people. I think if you have a girl, you should use it, and if you don't, she should be free to use it.

    It seems from the way your post is worded that your cousin's wife already knows she is having a girl, is that right? And she's due one month after you? On the off chance that you are overdue and she goes into labor early and has her baby before you, would you let her use the name?

  5. #14

    Re: Family naming predicament

    Thanks everyone. I definitely am hearing exactly what I was expecting (and hoping) to hear. I certainly plan on releasing the name for her to use if we do have a boy or decide to use another name; it's just hard to release a name you love so much (for this or future baby girls).

    But, who knows? My hormones could do some crazy things over the next 28 weeks and Willa might sound terrible (or she could fall in love with another name and neither of us will use it). Neither of us are very far along so there's lots of time.

    Someone asked if they know what they are having, and the answer is that they do not (and I'm not sure if they will). She is only about 8 weeks along (I'm about 12.5).

    I really do appreciate her being so flexible and I want to be flexible as well. And I think too the reason this all came as such a shock is that she had always said there was another name that she wanted to use for her first girl that had meaning to them and their marriage, so the fact that they had landed on something else was a complete shock.

    Anyways, thanks again. I've talked to my mom and others about it, and it's just nice to hear it from others.

    I'm confident it will all work out with no hard feelings.

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