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  1. #6

    Re: Love it or hate it... my 2nd daughter has a unique name.

    Quote Originally Posted by gwensmom
    I don't think the issue is deciding which people to please or how many opinions to take into consideration. In my opinion, the question is, how will a child of name XX be received in her daily life (at school, at the park, at the grocery, etc), how will a teenager of name XX be received, how will an adult of name XX be received. Her name may appear on resumes, she may have to introduce herself over the phone in a professional environment (Hello, my name is XX), she will have to send e-mails or other written correspondence. What impression does name XX convey? Will she be taken seriously? Obviously you can't please everyone and I don't think that is the parents' job when naming their children.

    Butterfly, in my opinion, is adorable for a child and conveys light-heartedness and happiness, just as a child should be. But I fear that it does not seem professional or grown up at all. What would you think if your doctor's name was Butterfly? What would you think if you saw Butterfly on a ballot? What would you think if you called a company and the receptionist introduced herself as Butterfly?
    If I met an adult named Butterfly tomorrow I might prejudicially assume she had hippie parents. I might scoff or smirk. However, fourteen years from now [did she say her child was six?], when this kid is an adult, should I encounter a Butterfly on the ballot, or the phone, I doubt I will think much of it other than to note her generation and be surprised she doesn't have a last name as a first name, a unisex name, or some kind of Emma, Ella, Ada, Ava variation. By the time little Butterfly is an adult, the world will be propagated by much more controversial or "unique" names and our sensibilities will have adapted to it. We might find Butterfly to be a perfectly sensible, grown-up name in a world where kids will probably be named after typos or texting acronyms.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    6,073

    Re: Love it or hate it... my 2nd daughter has a unique name.

    Quote Originally Posted by gwensmom
    I don't think the issue is deciding which people to please or how many opinions to take into consideration. In my opinion, the question is, how will a child of name XX be received in her daily life (at school, at the park, at the grocery, etc), how will a teenager of name XX be received, how will an adult of name XX be received. Her name may appear on resumes, she may have to introduce herself over the phone in a professional environment (Hello, my name is XX), she will have to send e-mails or other written correspondence. What impression does name XX convey? Will she be taken seriously? Obviously you can't please everyone and I don't think that is the parents' job when naming their children.

    Butterfly, in my opinion, is adorable for a child and conveys light-heartedness and happiness, just as a child should be. But I fear that it does not seem professional or grown up at all. What would you think if your doctor's name was Butterfly? What would you think if you saw Butterfly on a ballot? What would you think if you called a company and the receptionist introduced herself as Butterfly?
    This is what I meant. I don't think choosing a name for your child is about pleasing anyone, really, well except for maybe yourself and your husband. It is about choosing a name that will suite your child and provide him or her a solid foundation and a good foot to start out on. I fully believe a name can do that. A name says a lot about a person (or that person's parents) whether intended or not. For instance, parents who chose Charlotte for their child, and the little girl herself, may be perceived as more traditional, conservative, sophisticated, strong, successful, perhaps even wealthy, than parents who chose a name like Emerald, Dove, or even Butterfly. Does that make it a bad name? Maybe not, but still, maybe it does. I mentioned Western cultures because they tend to value names that, in a way, don't need to be defended. It is fine to have an unusual name, as long as it is a name, if you know what I mean. Certainly, this doesn't work everywhere, as every culture and country has unique naming practices, which is great!

    I was merely saying that, in my own opinion, Butterfly doesn't convey the image I would want to give to my daughter, especially as she matures into a grown woman. Butterfly certainly conveys flirty playfulness and childlike imagination, but it doesn't convey a sense of strength, sophistication, and success that I would want for my daughter. Clearly, my opinion is not shared by everyone, and I wouldn't make the mistake of assuming so.
    "Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit." - Salman Rushdie

    Boy Combinations: Archer Solomon James, Ronan Charles Bennett, Everett Hawthorn Thomas
    Girl Combinations: Phoebe Marietta Pearl, Clara Daphne Eloise
    Other Favorites: Eliza (Eliza Wren), Juliet, Rosanna, Thea, Johanna, Jude

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    6,073

    Re: Love it or hate it... my 2nd daughter has a unique name.

    Quote Originally Posted by caaaaaaaaaitlin
    Quote Originally Posted by gwensmom
    I don't think the issue is deciding which people to please or how many opinions to take into consideration. In my opinion, the question is, how will a child of name XX be received in her daily life (at school, at the park, at the grocery, etc), how will a teenager of name XX be received, how will an adult of name XX be received. Her name may appear on resumes, she may have to introduce herself over the phone in a professional environment (Hello, my name is XX), she will have to send e-mails or other written correspondence. What impression does name XX convey? Will she be taken seriously? Obviously you can't please everyone and I don't think that is the parents' job when naming their children.

    Butterfly, in my opinion, is adorable for a child and conveys light-heartedness and happiness, just as a child should be. But I fear that it does not seem professional or grown up at all. What would you think if your doctor's name was Butterfly? What would you think if you saw Butterfly on a ballot? What would you think if you called a company and the receptionist introduced herself as Butterfly?
    If I met an adult named Butterfly tomorrow I might prejudicially assume she had hippie parents. I might scoff or smirk. However, fourteen years from now [did she say her child was six?], when this kid is an adult, should I encounter a Butterfly on the ballot, or the phone, I doubt I will think much of it other than to note her generation and be surprised she doesn't have a last name as a first name, a unisex name, or some kind of Emma, Ella, Ada, Ava variation. By the time little Butterfly is an adult, the world will be propagated by much more controversial or "unique" names and our sensibilities will have adapted to it. We might find Butterfly to be a perfectly sensible, grown-up name in a world where kids will probably be named after typos or texting acronyms.
    Oh, goodness, I personally hope not! I can't see naming trends going that way, especially when, amidst the fascination with Ava and Ella, Ainsley and Hailey, more and more parents are returning to vintage names of the 1920s, reviving old classics, and making fresh naming choices with family names of their own.
    "Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit." - Salman Rushdie

    Boy Combinations: Archer Solomon James, Ronan Charles Bennett, Everett Hawthorn Thomas
    Girl Combinations: Phoebe Marietta Pearl, Clara Daphne Eloise
    Other Favorites: Eliza (Eliza Wren), Juliet, Rosanna, Thea, Johanna, Jude

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    144

    Re: Love it or hate it... my 2nd daughter has a unique name.

    If it suits her then it's a good name. I don't think it will be much of an issue, especially by the time she's an adult. If anything, I think it will be a point of interest and will make her easier to remember.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    976

    Re: Love it or hate it... my 2nd daughter has a unique name.

    On the one hand, it's not what I would do, but on the other hand, I love when people go ahead and do what they want. It's an interesting world that way, and I love meeting people with unusual names - I like to tend to think they have unusual parents and that their upbringing was unconventional and less inhibited than the norm.

    This isn't the only place I go on the internet - I have other interests, and one thing that maybe the lot of you might need to understand is that choosing an unusual name, er, how should I put this... a lot of the names we all put a lot of thought into, diverting from the usual, the classic, the ordinary, the popular, "real name" names, well, some people think that's kind of icky. I'm not talking about Butterfly, I'm talking about other unusual and beautiful names that people think are classy and historical and grown-up. For some people, that's altogether with Kayley and Haleigh and Jayzen - too weird, get over yourselves and stick with nice normal names (whatever that means, or whether that means being stuck in a rut, or does change with the times, but more slowly, I don't know). I'm not saying that, and I get a little defensive with these people! Some people are never going to be aware that name Y is an authentic variation of name X, nor do they care, and think it's pretentious. It's just as if you'd said Bronx Mowgli 3 times, in a dark room at midnight, before a mirror. They don't get it, and they think it's showing off. I think it's more of an intellectual delight in the dissection of language and the vibrations given off by a name, and then the person whose name it is. This is not a subject so many people give heaps of thought to, and probably why we get so many moms at odds with the preferences of their dudes. It just makes some people more uncomfortable to think about it, or to compromise, or to give in.

    However, to bring this back around, so who are we and where are we sharing our thoughts and advice? How far beyond Jennifer and Jason, Ava and Aidan, can we go? I think pretty far, if we want to. I may have some conservative tastes and I do feel a warning instinct to some names (or sometimes I just refrain from posting), but in the end, it's great. That's my ultimate opinion, no matter what I've ever said or what I might say in the future. I may not be ready for some names myself, I may wonder what the heck you're thinking. But I cannot be all "ugh" about what people like and name their own children or try to form their choices for them, or hand them advice on what the future potential of their child is because they like an awful name. For one thing, most people don't have awesome jobs, but nobody can't get there if that's what they want. Someone with a name is likely to be raised in an environment where they fit their name, and even if you try to tone it down or be conservative at the last minute, they are probably going to fit their upbringing, and not the serious professional career potential imparted by a conservative name.

    Most of us have last names, not always easy to pronounce or spell, some attract more teasing than others, but something we cannot change (we can, but most people don't - I mean married ladies too, well, that name you take and give to your children is not something you read in a list of names and chose for its quality). I don't think it's too awful to have to spell your name or have it mispronounced sometimes, or even to be teased a little. It's how you learn to respond to teasing that determines how effective it is for other kids to tease you. Someone might tease you about your name, but likely they are teasing something else about you and using your name. So I don't think there's too much there. When you meet someone new, you learn their last name and it might be kind of silly, but you ignore that fact and don't hold it against them, do you? So why be uptight about the first name? I'm sure I have been uptight to some people. My favorite names tend to be on the boring side, but I also have to say, I'm in favor of people who can dare, to do so, and not have too many doubts fed to them by people such as myself.

    If I could give an honest opinion about the name Butterfly - I don't like bugs! So that wouldn't be my choice. Butterflies are still insects. If I'm going to be more honest than that, I think I also don't like birds. All of these creatures are interesting to observe in the wild and some are mighty beautiful, but I'm unlikely to choose a name of an animal that personally gives me the willies, even if it has other majestic qualities and etc. My take on nature names, I mostly prefer the geographic qualities of the mountains and valleys, the atmosphere, the sea (especially), outer space (somewhat), and for life, just life, or to pick out living things, some mammals and some plants. But I think Butterfly is an awesome choice for your daughter. You loved it 6 years ago and you still love it, and she loves it. A good story.

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