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  1. #16
    I have worked in daycare for close to two years now. And I'll be honest with you... timeouts and rationalizing just don't work with some children. I had a four year old just today that screamed, spit at me, and kicked me, and yeah, time out calmed him down for a few minutes, but about 20 minutes later he was back at it again, and he had learned nothing. There are strong willed, emotionally charged toddlers/children that won't take no for an answer. Personally... I plan on spanking my children. It most definitely worked for me as a child, whenever I acted out the way you described Sebastian acting out above ^^. However, I know that some parents strongly believe against it, and so I'm going to recommend a book to you that my mom's best friend, who is raising a veeerryyy stubborn three year old little boy, is reading now. It's called Raising a Strong Willed Child by James Dobson. She swears by it, so it could do you some good. I'm not sure what all it entails but I've heard many good things about it.

    Also, I wanted to add (but I couldn't decide where to fit it in above) that I've heard of people who have had twins + a(n) older child(ren) say that kids feel much more over-looked when twins are in the house then with a single baby, because everyone naturally are drawn to twins because they are much more rare. I think that could explain why he was excited about Evelyn, but not the twins.

    That being said, it's very important to validate Sebastian's feelings. And to me, it sounds like you're doing a great job at giving him special attention. I also think it's very important that he understand that his behavior is unacceptable and is not to be tolerated. I guess as parents you need to decide how much of his behavior is his frustration/jealousy, and how much of it is him acting out like three year olds do.

    Best wishes! I don't have children, and I can't even fathom having five, all 3 and under. You're a good mama for making sure every one of your kids has their emotional needs met!
    18 | Name lover | No babies, just planning.

    Check out my Name Blog! Latest post 10/14/2014 http://nameloves.blogspot.com/

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    181
    Tonight Sebastian is at his grandparent's house, in the morning my husband is going to pick him up and take him out for a special day. My husband and I decided on this last night when he got home from work. We're hoping that a night at Nana and Papa's house will help him change his behavior, and that their undivided attention will do him some good. And honestly I didn't know what I was going to do with him when he started acting out again. This is his first sleep over anywhere, and of course I'm up late worrying about my baby! Hopefully this break will give him a chance to change his mood, and will give me a chance to change my approach.

    I'm very interested in the RIE approach, and it seems similar to Love and Logic parenting, which we have been testing out. Hubby and I are going to start classes for that parenting style, but my friend who parents this way gave us some more suggestions to try with our boy. It's awesome that my husband is so on board with finding a solution! I'm also going to pick up the James Dobson book! I've heard about it, but never actually purchased it. I think with Sebastian it's just going to take lots of reinforcement, but also voicing to him that he is heard, and his frustrations have validation, but are not acceptable on certain levels. He obviously needs to get out everything going on in his little mind, but hurting his siblings and being mean is not acceptable. We need to teach him the acceptable way to do that!

    Both the RIE approach and Love and Logic parenting are things that I will be researching in my "spare" time! Or rather Mommy time in the middle of the night! Ha!

    On the note of spanking, without starting a debate for or against we personally don't spank. At least not with the ages that the boys are at now. In the future that may change, but being that we are also trying to teach him that hitting is unacceptable I do not want to turn around and hit him. I think at a more mature age a spanking and then a conversation regarding the behavior that is being punished is a very valid way of discipline. That's just my personal niblet!

    Thank you to all of you! Your encouragement that I'm doing right by my kiddos is very much appreciated. I'm hoping that we can break through to Mr. Seb so we can have our sweet joyful little guy back!
    Last edited by sebastianrhys; August 16th, 2014 at 02:20 AM.

    Mama to Sebastian, Kaidan, Evelyn, Britton, and Jackson

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    504
    My daughter goes to my in-laws house every Wednesday evening and she loves it. She gets her special time with her Mimi. This has been important with her new cousin Ella joining in May, Saela in June, and her baby cousin Ben joining the group in October. One on one time with us has been important but she has a special relationship with her grandma and it has helped with her behavior at home since she still has that constant in her life.
    Proud Mommy to Maeby Alana (8/6/10) and Saela Eliza (6/24/14)

    Marlow Simone - Romy Corinne
    Zefram Eli - Miles Thatcher

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    181
    My sweet boy is back! Thanks everyone for your suggestions, they were very helpful. He is getting his one on one time with his grandparents, which has really helped him. He's been helpful with the babies, and wants to interact with them more, which is awesome. Of course he isn't perfect, but then what three year old is? It's sooooo nice to see his smile again!

    Mama to Sebastian, Kaidan, Evelyn, Britton, and Jackson

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