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July 31st, 2014 12:24 PM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
Planning for adopting babies in a few after college....is this strange?
I'm an eighteen years old college freshman and I want a child but I want to wait a few years. I've got the first names picked out but can't decide on the middle name for a boy. I want Chase for my son and Aria Gracelynn for my girl. I'd adopt them as newborns. I know Chase will habe a Lion King nursery and Aria will have either Nala, if I get them at the same time or they're twins, or Minnie Mouse. Do you think this is strange?
July 31st, 2014 12:36 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
Adoption is wonderful...but only when they are being taken into a supportive, safe, and stable home. So yes it is strange and unrealistic to adopt at such a young age. Your frontal lobe (which regulates decision making, problem solving, control of purposeful behaviors, consciousness, and emotions) isn't even fully developed until you are 21. Fantasizing about a family is fine but you will be a completely different person with possibly different goals in 5 years time. It's important to be independent and grow as an individual before adopting 1, let alone, 2 children. The names you dream of are lovely but keep the plans that way---a dream. Give yourself 5 years minimum. Then, if you feel the same way about adopting, look into agencies. These babies, these things we dream up & name are human beings. Responsibilities. Beings that require self-sacrifice. Cannot be taken lightly! I wish you luck whenever you decide to grow a family.
July 31st, 2014 02:39 PM #5
I thought about adoption when I was a teen. It isn't any stranger than thinking about your wedding day...completely normal. I have yet to adopt, though it isn't completely out of the cards. I have read many adoption blogs and realize that it is a very difficult process (before and after the child arrives). You could consider looking at some adoption stories to get a realistic view on the subject... or you could simply keep daydreaming. There is no harm in that.Beatrix - Fleur - Minnow - Zelda - Fern - Winifred - Poet
Wolfgang - Atlas - Huck - Abraham - Ernest - Ulysses - Fox - Alasdair
July 31st, 2014 02:42 PM #7
Adoption is wonderful, as an adult with a family a home and children already we are thinking we are almost ready to venture into the journey of adoption. Its a massive commitment, these little people have for one reason or another lost their parents and the state or a birth parent is looking for a stable and secure, loving home for them so that they never have to go through the same loss again and can have a good fresh start in life. When you can provide both care, home, income and emotional support to a child, and perhaps a second parent as single parenting is very hard work, people do it every day and I have a lot if respect for them but I'm forever thankful for my spouse. Just having another adult to converse with at the end of the day or someone to carry the bags to the car or come get up of we have a flat tire... Means so much and helps so much. Children are amazing and amazing joy comes from having them but it takes a lot to be what they need, keep the hope of adiption in your heart and focus on getting your life to where you'll be able to provide a good life for children. Because while naming them and having a cute nursery is lovely its just that, giving them their names and setting up a room how you like it so you have some place to store their stuff... Then you have children and it won't be long until they want their room how they want it. I don't do a 'nursery' really and planning ahead for where things they'll actually want and need will be... Adoption is also quite a process and its often a painful one. Sometimes you don't end up with a child and newborn adiption can be quite expensive and you have to prove. Lot of things for the child to be placed with you. Its lovely to dream about the future and make plans. I always did and when I met my future husband I told him my plans and our plans matched up and we ended up together which is really great! Don't get too far ahead of yourself. When I was 18 I had a view of my life and its pretty similar to how my life worked out but my life in many ways suprised me for the better. My advice for you is if you have a goal work hard to get there and expect it to be hard and when you reach your goal don't expect it to be all easy... Children are the greatest blessing and they become your life. So if you want something like this create your life and then think about it again.
July 31st, 2014 02:43 PM #9
I want to add good luck and I hope your dreams come true.