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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    10

    Advice for a new, young mom?

    Hello everyone!

    I'm new here, and very excited to be here as well! So, I am just about 38 weeks pregnant with my first child, which I have chosen to keep the gender unknown until he/she is born. If the baby is a girl I think her name will be Gabriela Vitoria or Ana Sofia Carolina. And if it's a boy I am still deciding between Luca David Cruz and Caleb Matteo Taylor. I recently turned 18 years old, but I am throwing my entire being into becoming the best mother I can.

    Is there any advice that you could give me about mothering a new born, or just a child in general? I am very fortunate to have my own apartment, with a whole separate room for a nursery, but I don't know if the baby should sleep in the same room as me for the first couple of months? Or some people actually have the baby sleep in the same bed as them?

    And also, do baby monitors pick up every sound? I have a fear that I'm going to be in the kitchen or bathroom doing something, and the baby monitor won't pick up the baby crying or something falling over? I know I probably sound paranoid, but I just want to be as prepared as possible. Thank you everyone in advance!
    Emmeline•18 years old

    Due in July

    If it's a girl than she will be either Gabriela Luciana Vitoria "Gabi" or Ana Sofia Carolina "Ana Sofia"
    If it's a boy than he will be Luca David Cruz

    Future girls: Bianca Marina Andrea "Bia" • Eliana Carina Meredith "Ellie" • Adrianna Elena Izabel

    Future boys: Caleb Matteo Alexander • Elijah Taylor Cristiano "Eli" • John Luke Mattheus "John Luke"

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    163
    Hello Emmeline,
    I already posted on your girl name thread (great names you picked by the way!) ; I have a four-month old baby boy and the best piece of advice I was given was to trust my baby. It turns out he is healthy (a great relief and at any rate the most important thing) and super sweet, but in those daunting first few days I always returned to this advice whenever in doubt (a lot, like all new moms!) and trusted him to let me know what I needed to do (esp. feeding : he had a way of letting me know if he was full or wanted more).
    As for sleeping, he slept in a bassinet in our room for the first two months (it made it easier to feed him at night and he clearly felt lost in his "big" bed in his bedroom), then graduated to his cot in our bedroom and finally (two weeks ago) to his cot in his bedroom. It was basically a question of both him and us feeling ready and it came gradually for all of us. I suppose that especially if you live alone with him/her it may make you feel much better to be in the same room (although some people hate it because babies are quite loud when they sleep! I found it reassured me to hear him breathe, move and make all the funny little noises he makes).
    I was strongly advised against sleeping in the same bed and we tried to stick with it as much as possible (there were moments when everybody dozed off in the big bed after feed at 3 a.m. but he always returned to his bassinet or his cot). And the other thing is to make the baby sleep on a firm mattress with no duvet or blanket or pillow (they have special sleeping bags for babies now). Baby monitors help greatly to reassure you if you're not in the same room : they don't pick every little sound but they will certainly pick the big, potentially bad ones !
    And more generally : be kind on yourself. You sound like a very responsible person and you made a very brave, honourable decision, and raising a child is hard work and sometimes overwhelming. But you can do it. And your baby will help you. So don't be hard on yourself if sometimes you feel overwhelmed : it's normal, everybody's been there (young or not, whether they admit it or not), hormones are tough b**** on top of everything else, so ask for help when you feel you can't handle it anymore (a parent, a friend, your fellow berries) and don't beat yourself up. Even a few hours for yourself can help you rebuild your strength.
    Best of luck with the birth and most importantly: enjoy every minute with your little one when he/she's here! Talk to him/her (it works ! He/she knows your voice already!) even for all the little mundane things (changing diapers, dressing/undressing, etc.), it'll help you connect with the baby (they're persons, even if they sometimes look like aliens!). You'll be fine!

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    2,404
    I'm expecting my first child so I don't have much in the way of advice. Just wanted to send you good wishes for when your baby arrives!

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    937
    I kept my daughter in a Moses basket for all of her naps during the first six months. It is easy to move to any room in the house or take with you on trips. I never used a monitor because she was always with me. The nursery got very little use for quite some time. I did co-sleep sometimes, but was personally very comfortable with my ability to keep her safe (no blankies, toys, pillows, etc). I'm also a very very light sleeper. My best advice is to just do your best and enjoy it. Don't feel like you need to fit a perfect mold. All babies are different...and so are their parents. Congrats!
    Beatrix - Fleur - Minnow - Zelda - Fern - Winifred - Poet

    Wolfgang - Atlas - Huck - Abraham - Ernest - Ulysses - Fox - Alasdair

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    644
    We kept our baby (now two and a half) in our room in his own crib for the first six months. Then we switched him to his own room. This is what the AAP recommends- in the parents room, sleeping in a separate crib, for the first six months. But you have to do what works for you and your baby.

    We never needed a baby monitor. Unless your apartment is very large, you probably won't need one. You will be able to hear the baby easily. If you are feeling paranoid, that is normal. Just remember that the baby will probably not be out of your arms reach for the first few months, so that paranoia may dissipate a little in time. If you want a monitor, maybe go for a video monitor, then you don't have to worry about missing any small sounds.

    Advice: you are going to be the world's foremost expert on your particular baby. So you will know if your baby hates swaddling or needs to sleep in the bed with you or must be worn all day or hates the sling. Maybe everyone you know swears that babies need pacifiers, but your baby flat-out won't take one. That is fine. Everyone is going to give you loads of advice. Some of the advice will be helpful. Some of it won't. Assume that all of it is kindly meant. Just smile and say thank you politely.

    The most helpful thing that you can do is to find other mothers in real life who you can see on a regular basis. Find and join a moms group. Just try it out. It is really helpful to meet other moms. When my son was born, some of my friends were already moms, but a lot of them were not/are not. I still love and value and hang out with my child-free friends, but they don't want to hear about spit-up or blow-outs. They don't want to talk about preschool. So it is really helpful to have friends who do care about all of the mom stuff. And it is nice to have a place you can go to get out of the house without worrying about whether the baby is going to be fussy or anything.

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