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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    13

    Name Change at 3 months

    My husband and I are seriously considering changing our 3 month old daughter's name. The name we gave her at birth just doesn't seem to fit her and honestly I feel like I didn't put enough thought into it. After giving birth I was mentally and physically exhausted and when my husband turned to me and said "Aria? Right?" I just said yes. It was the name at the top of our list and the name everyone around us liked best even though I had misgivings about it. So here we are 3 months later and my daughter just had her vaccinations and I'm looking at her name on the immunization record and looking at my sleeping girl and I realize that her name just doesn't seem to fit. When my husband gets in the car I tell him. He asks what name I think she should have. Penelope Joy. Penny for short. I expect him to laugh it off or freak out but instead he looks at me and says "Ok, I like that name". We tell my mom and she loves it too. So I start researching what it takes to change a name. In California its insanely expensive. $435 to submit the paperwork then you have to put in a name change publication in a local paper which ranges from $95-$200. I tell my husband its ok Aria is an ok name and I don't hate it, we can keep it Aria. He insists that we should name our child what we think she should be named and says it will be a mother's day present. So here I am. The stack of paperwork is filled out and my husband and family are supportive of the change. In my mind she's already Penny Joy but I have doubts. The name Aria is a good name, I don't hate it. However, just a warning to any of you who are considering the name a surprising amount of people pronounce it "area" and continue to pronounce it so even when corrected (including family members). So anyways the moral of the story is to be very, very sure about your childs name. Take the time to really look at him or her and make sure the name fits or you could end up where I am. Also, don't live in California.

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    266
    Penelope Joy is a wonderful name
    And props to you and your husband for being able to admit that you made a mistake, and for fixing it before your daughter is older and it causes more confusion/problems for her
    ╔══════════════╗
    Sophie

    Lorelai Violet - Louisa Mae - Clara Elizabeth - Verity Jane - Isla Genevieve

    Dashiell Emmett - Theo Lucian - Leo Benjamin - Finley Cassius - Eli Oliver


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  3. #5
    I like Penelope nn Penny, but I also like Aria, so I may not be able to understand the problem through your eyes. The best I can do is to tell you how things look from my perspective. This is your child, and only you know what is best for her and the proper way to raise her.

    I love names and naming my children has been a fun experience so far, but at the same time I feel that names do not determine who we grow up to be and almost all names eventually "fit" the name bearer.

    Three month old babies have personalities, of course they do, but in my opinion you will never find a perfect name to "suit" your child until she is an adult and she can verbalize who she is, what she believes and how she defines herself. When we say that we want a name to fit the baby is "we want a name to fit our tastes and personalities".

    Name changes are understandable if the parents gave the child an atrocious name with a weird spelling, have a clear issues with the meaning or pronounciation of the name. If a person changed a child's name from Hitler to Hayden, or Kreesthal to Crystal, I would understand why.

    I wouldn't understand what the difference between Aria and Penelope is, since both are respectable names with good qualities, other than the parents did not like one and prefered the other. The "it doesn't suit the baby's personality" or "it doesn't feel like the right name" to me sounds like covering the real issue.

    Would I spend that amount of money to change from one good name to another good name? I don't think I would. However, if you feel very strongly about it and you feel like you won't be able to tell your daughter that she has a good name in the future, because you will be fixated with Penelope, then I guess it is for the best to change it.

    Just know that children are babies for a very short period of time, and what is super important and radical when they are infants will be the last of your concerns when your child is older.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    13
    I actually quite agree with you and those are the exact doubts I'm having. Why are we changing a name we don't hate especially if its so much money? My husband answers that money shouldn't be an issue in such an important decision and he wants us to be completely 100% happy with our daughters name. We still haven't ordered her birth certificate and we have to change her name with our medical insurance anyways because they recorded her middle name wrong. We also are applying for a fee waiver because we don't make a lot of money for our family size. I'm at the point where if we are able to get the fee waiver we will go through with the change. Because I really would be happier with Penelope and so would my husband.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    846
    Absolutely change it if it doesn't feel right. I'm a big believer in feeling right about the name. However, don't rush it. If you feel unsure, it's fine to wait. People mistakenly think the child will have identity issues if you don't change it right away. They won't, they'll adjust just fine. You can transplant a 3 year old down in completely different language and they will learn the language like a native. Babies don't even have a concept of self yet, not like we think of it. I'd recommend just getting it done before they are one at least. Earlier is probably better, though but not because of the baby but because the adults will have a harder time adjusting. So take your time, it's certainly something you want to be certain about before you do it.

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