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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    461

    All's fair in love and names?

    My son has my father in law's name for his middle name. It also happens to be my husband's middle name, and my daughter has my middle name, so it's not totally a tribute to the father in law, if that makes sense. Grant William is his name.

    We are having a heck of a time loving a name for baby boy #2. For a while we settled on Calvin, and said Calvin Brian, as Brian is my dad's name and that would be "fair". We told our families the name and my husband's parents were thrilled because I think they saw it as being good and "fair" way to name sons. My dad was very happy with the choice, though he is a humble man and I'm sure wasn't expecting us to use his name. Telling everyone the name was obviously mistake #1.

    After that, we went cold on Calvin, but said we'd still use Brian as a middle, unless it was a total mis-match with the first name. Everyone in the family knew this was the plan. But we couldn't fall in love with Calvin and every other name felt wrong to us too.

    Tonight we were talking about it and Weston came back up into conversation and I mentioned how that sounded even worse with Brain than Calvin did. Weston Brian....not great. My husband responded with, "how about Weston James?" and we both went, "ahhhhhhhhh!" It was like a lightbulb, Weston James is so handsome! James is my husband's late grandfather's name, so it's meaningful, but doesn't give any credit or "fair"ness to my side of the family, but the combo just really got us going! Then a few minutes later, I guess hubs forgot what we had been talking about (lol!) and referred to the baby as Calvin James. Man...that's good too! And he has the added bonus of being nicknamed CJ if we so chose.

    So...what do you think? Should we stick to our word and use Brian as the middle even if it doesn't make our hearts go pitter patter, or have a chat with dear old dad and explain the situation? Is being "fair" more important than having a really classy sounding name?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    833
    I'd say stick with Brian because it's the fair thing and while pitter patter is important for a first name, I don't think it's really important for the middle. If you are just picking a name you like sure, go for whatever you like the sound of. But not only have you already set a precedent, you've already said you will use the honor name. Backing out now, honestly looks really bad on you whether or not you ask and people respond nicely to it. The middle name, all said and done isn't really that important, unless, like some places in the south for instance, you actually use both names. Most of the time people don't even know one anothers' middle names. In other words, in your case I think the joy you give for honoring someone far outweighs the one time joy of the middle name when you announce it. Alternatively, you would double barrel the middle name. Weston James Brian or Weston Brian James.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,577
    Exactly what anaxandra said.
    Polly

    Ophelia "Ellie" | Penelope "Peppi" | Rose "Rosie"

    August | Elliott "Otti" | Theo

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    448
    Can you maybe use your dad's/your surname as a middle name? I think Calvin Brian is a handsome name. What about Brennan as a first instead of Brian as a middle? Not exactly Brian but a nice tribute
    Ladies: Lucy Josephine, Emilia Margaret, Audrey Lucille

    Gentleman: Morgan Zachary, Gavin Thomas, Avery Glen

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    221
    I feel like the right thing would be to honour your father in the way that you said you would. I would be hurt if my daughter/son decided to honour me and then changed her mind - I wouldn't show it or tell her so, but I would be a little saddened.

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