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Thread: Name Changer's Remorse
April 16th, 2014 02:20 PM #11
I would only recommend changing your name back to Emily Rose or keeping it as Beatrix. Changing your name to something different twice will almost certainly come off as immature and silly. Some people may even question your confidence and character. Not to be harsh. You may not care what others think or if they make fun. I personally think that Beatrix is lovely and that it takes time to adjust to a name. It took me a least three years to feel even just a little bit comfortable with my last name change from being married.Beatrix - Fleur - Minnow - Zelda - Fern - Winifred - Poet
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April 16th, 2014 04:40 PM #13Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2014
I understand that it is rather ridiculous that I am even considering changing my name again. Trust me, if I didn't feel that I just do not identify with or feel like a Beatrix, I wouldn't consider changing it. While I respond to it, deep down it doesn't feel like my name. Perhaps that is why I am considering Rose, when I didn't before - because it has been my name since birth, albeit in the middle spot.
April 16th, 2014 05:00 PM #15
Honestly, I think this may be more than your name. Go around and ask a bunch of people they know if they feel like their name. I'm going to bet most don't even think about it like that. It's just their name and it's their memories and their relationships with people. Stick with this name for awhile or go back to Emily. If, in 5 years you still want to change it, then go ahead. Your name isn't who you are, and certainly a new name that you just picked because you liked it isn't going to feel like it's yours yet. You might be searching now for your identity but you don't need to change your name to reflect that.
April 16th, 2014 05:24 PM #17
Hello there, dear! When you were originally thinking of changing your name, we talked at length about different options, over a very long period of time, before you decided on Beatrix. We had such back-and-forth about what you thought was "your name" versus what I thought would fit you (even though I have never met-met you, but that is beside the point here). I had my preferences, and you had yours. Sometimes we agreed, sometimes we didn't. All that is fairly irrelevant, because it's you changing your name, not me changing your name (or mine, for that matter). I can empathize with the disconnect you feel from Beatrix now, although I can't immediately understand it; however, I'll say that, to me, and with my potentially biased and not entirely whole knowledge of you, you don't feel like a Beatrix (even if you may feel like a bit of a Bea - remember how much I wanted you to be Phoebe "Bea"?). The biggest issue now is that you don't feel you are a Beatrix.
Alas, here we are with Rose and Lyra. I've read through all of the comments, and our fellow Berries make wonderful points:
Eliminating Gemma was a good idea.
Considering reworking Emily is also a nice thought, and I know we considered Emmeline before throwing out all of 'em (ha) because they just. aren't. you. Fair enough.
Lyra, though. You have the significance and the flair that you've long been searching for in Lyra, but is she you? I've never thought so, but the real question is if you think so? I agree with other posters who say you may get sick of Lyra as with Beatrix. Why? It isn't a question of whether Lyra ages well. You can be called Posy or Apple today and still be a professional adult. Lyra has a different energy than any name you've really considered as a first name, which is why she feels off to me. She's young and ethereal and free, but she's also got this sensuous exoticism to her. To me, that isn't you. Is it?
Which brings me to Rose. We talked long and hard about Rose, me trying to convince you she isn't too common, you telling me about the connection to your grandma. To change one's name is one thing if the name represents a serious disconnect, but you are now faced with a name with an even bigger disconnect. To give yourself your grandma's name would be a touching symbolism of the connection you are seeking. Also, Rose isn't a commonplace first name these days, much less in the US. In fact, Rose is only slightly more popular now than she was in the year you were born - all that to say you could've very well been named Rose! Rose has an elegant flair to her, but she's also warm and sweet, creative and playful, intelligent and vivacious. Rose can take on an energy all your own. To me, a Rose name has always been a part of you (and your name), and if no variant fits - which it doesn't, considering we've discussed nearly every one under the sun before arriving back at Rose - then why not take Rose and use her as your own? I think the decision's already been made. But what do you think?"Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit." - Salman Rushdie
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April 16th, 2014 05:40 PM #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
I would not be so concerned with future potential employers thinking you are immature or silly as I would about them assuming you are hiding something or hiding from someone with multiple name changes. If I was a potential employer interviewing you (or a boyfriend's mom or sister) and you told me you changed your name twice just b.c it did not feel like you, I would assume that you were hiding something much shadier than young adult indecision.
People do tend to be suspicious of name changes. One of my neighbors started going by Meg instead of Peg- just a different nickname. It made perfect sense to me, as she had recently lost her husband and was sort of reinventing herself. But all of our neighbors kept saying, "Why is she changing her name? What is she hiding?"
SO- I would leave your name as is OR revert to your birth name and just go by Rose if you don't feel that Emily or Beatrix suits you. If you are an university now, I would actually say wait till you graduate to start going by a new name- that way you are introducing yourself to a new group of coworkers instead of trying to convince your classmates to call you by a totally different name. This will also give you time to think over the decision before you make the change.