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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    495

    ...never a bride (rant)

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating 5 years. We have joint finances and have been living together for over two years. We also have a six week old son. We are basically married in everything but title, so why should I care, but.... I want to be married. I always thought I'd be married before starting a family, but life surprised us with our precious child and now I wouldn't change it for the world. I also didn't want to get married just because we were having a child. Regardless, he is here now and we couldn't be any happier....except for this nagging thought.

    I mean, having a child is a greater committment than marriage anyway. You can always get divorced and never see each other again, but with a kid we would have to see each other at graduations, HIS wedding someday, etc. So my boyfriend has already committed to me for life. Why is marriage so scary?

    I don't want to be the kind of woman who harps on her man until he marries her to shut her up. I want him to want to marry me. But he hasn't indicated that he has any intention of doing so. I tried to be subtle and ask him where he saw us in five years and he just said he didn't know.

    I am honestly fine with waiting a few more years, I just....I don't know, I want some sort of timeline or a token like a promise ring or something. I hate feeling like it is never going to happen.
    Mommy to a beautiful baby boy!
    Griffin Adam
    ~~~~~~
    Favorite girls names: Mirabelle Irene, Aurora Faye, Seraphina Isobel, Cordelia Louise, Serena Lux, Rosamund Fable, Elowen Phoenix, Calliope ????

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Westeros
    Posts
    1,111
    So sorry you're having these feelings about your relationship. I'm in your same situation, minus the child, but I'm the one who doesn't want to get married. I can see where your man is coming from if he's unsure about marriage. The only thing I can really tell you is that things work themselves out in time. You'll either get married, or you won't. Does it really matter as long as you both want to be together, regardless of title? Since you've been together so long, why don't you just bring it up with him and ask him point blank? Being open and communicating is your best bet at finding out what the hang up is.

     
     
     
     
     
    I fancy these: Twila Posey, Odette Francesca, Orlaith Glimmer, Fianna Ruby, Indie Nell
                               
    Ouen Amos, Cillian Ambrose, Oswin Maverick, Casimir Orlando, Oscar Phineas  

     
     
     
     

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    495
    I was worried that asking point blank would seem like I was demanding it.
    Mommy to a beautiful baby boy!
    Griffin Adam
    ~~~~~~
    Favorite girls names: Mirabelle Irene, Aurora Faye, Seraphina Isobel, Cordelia Louise, Serena Lux, Rosamund Fable, Elowen Phoenix, Calliope ????

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Westeros
    Posts
    1,111
    I think you could bring it up without sounding like that at all. Just try to be as normal as possible. lol Make it especially clear that you aren't trying to force him into anything. My boyfriend asked me once, not too seriously, why I never wanted to be married. I told him and that was that. It's going to come up sometime, right? I'm surprised there've been no probing relatives! His and mine are always on our case.

     
     
     
     
     
    I fancy these: Twila Posey, Odette Francesca, Orlaith Glimmer, Fianna Ruby, Indie Nell
                               
    Ouen Amos, Cillian Ambrose, Oswin Maverick, Casimir Orlando, Oscar Phineas  

     
     
     
     

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    495
    As far as I know neither of our relatives have said anything. Maybe it is because we are still young. I will bring it up with him tonight and let you know how it goes.
    Mommy to a beautiful baby boy!
    Griffin Adam
    ~~~~~~
    Favorite girls names: Mirabelle Irene, Aurora Faye, Seraphina Isobel, Cordelia Louise, Serena Lux, Rosamund Fable, Elowen Phoenix, Calliope ????

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