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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    2,505
    I've only been in one relationship. I know it was serious to him and I tried to convince myself it was serious to me, too, but it wasn't. He was a lot like my first and only (and unshared) love and I was just fooling myself, I guess. He was much older (26 when I was 17) and now I realize we were just friends who acted like lovers.
    We've only been together for around 3 months, but we did discuss names... just for fun. He loved my favorite name, Felix, this is all I remember from our conversations. The fact he loved it won't stop me from using it in future, though. We are now good friends so I don't have bad associations with him anyway.
    polina ∙ 19 ∙ art history major ∙ web developer
    french/russian/swedish ∙ living in st. petersburg, russia

    clementineastridsidoniaottoline
    felixsebastianmiloatticus

    in the silence of your bones and eyes
    forgotten magic sits and waits for fire


  2. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    675
    I did discuss names with my last serious boyfriend. He's Polish, so keeping with the Polish tradition (if we were to ever live in Poland) sons' last names would be d@browski and daughters' (and my) last name would be d@browska, which definitely impacted the names I was crushing on. At the time (it was around 2006) I was loving Zoe, and liked that then the names wouldn't rhyme (with the feminine -a ending of the last name). I focused mostly on European/eastern European names rather than some of the others I liked.
    I also considered changing my name to the Polish version (Kasia instead of Kate/Katherine) if we had ever decided to move there.

    So while I have talked names, the names I'd use in my present relationship are quite different from the ones I'd use in the previous- mostly for ethnicity/culture differences and flow with potential last name, but also because my tastes have changed since then.

    And to add, the names I've had on my lists have changed based on flow with my crushes' surnames, boyfriend status or not, since I was a kid

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    4,777
    I thought about names with them but I never talked about them.

    I would have used different names than I am considering now, partly because it's just been so long, partly because it would sound so different with my maiden name, and partly because my husband's introduced cultures/ethnicities I would have had no reason to consider before.

    Honestly with my ex's I imagine I could have made a lot more decisions unilaterally. I don't think the relationships would have survived giving birth and I'd've been naming/raising on my own. So every name that I still love that my DH has vetoed in real life would be back on the table.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    675
    I dated one guy one and off from age fourteen to age eighteen. Our mothers were (and still are) very close friends, we grew up in church together- we both assumed that we would end up getting married. He made it very very clear that he would have a son named after him- Firstname Middlename Lastname II. He had the nickname picked out, too. I was not thrilled about this plan, so he said that I could pick out the other kids' names.

    Other than that, I never tried to discuss names with a boyfriend, mostly because I did not want them to get the impression that I saw any kind of future for us. Several guys I dated brought up names themselves- and I am talking here about really casual, non-longterm dating, so I can only assume that they really liked names. So when people say that men are not interested in names, that just hasn't been my experience. One guy had a whole list of Anime names. Another guy had some complicated family traditions about naming that he kept trying to explain to me.

    I met my husband when I was nineteen. He never wanted to talk about names at all. It is just not really an interest of his. We both read Anna Karenina when we were in our early twenties and he said, "huh, Levin would be a really good name for a boy." I instantly seized on that and when we finally had a son (a good decade later) we did name him Levin. My husband agreed to discuss names only when children were actually imminent. Then his list really surprised me- his girls names were things like Esmerelda.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Spain
    Posts
    2,095
    I did talk names with my ex… but I talk names with anyone who will listen My ex and I did have a few names we agreed upon. We had a lot of things for the future figured out in our minds, but none ever materialized.
    We both liked Molly and Milo. He didn't understand how I got Molly out of Rosemary (his nickname is directly a part of his name, so it was a weird concept to him), but he agreed that he liked it, haha.

    All the other guys I've been involved with, if we've talked names (and I have with a handful), it's just an academic discussion, or "I like this" "and I like this" "Hmm, interesting" and that's about it, it's not about "our" kids… and I'm kind of glad about that, because I think if I associated a baby name too much with the hypothetical-but-still-real father, I'd feel like I couldn't use it when it comes time to have a baby with my actual husband & father of my kids. Wow, run-on sentence, sorry!
    Lucia
    Sela, Iris, Bronwen, Eleanora, Seraphine, Eulalia and Bastian "Baz", Fletcher, Gideon, Edmund, Joscelin, Marius

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