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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,602

    So Frustrated and Confused

    So, if I wasn't second guessing myself before...

    Now I am definitely confused!


    I keep being told that names like Millie are too cute, but Rose is a nice alternative for Rosie (I dislike Rose on its own though - it feels very bland to me. I figured that, if Rose is stronger, then Millie-Rose should be better than just plain Millie, because it provides options that everyone seems to want, and it has one cute name, one with more backbone and history. So, I get some feedback on it - only to find out it's even cutesier!

    So, question time:

    a) If Rose is so lovely and a wonderful alternative to Rosie, why is it cutesy when paired with Millie? (Honestly don't understand that, so just looking for clarification).

    b) Should I basically throw out every name on my favourites list because they don't seem up to standard with Nameberry tastes, and therefore won't work in the real world (unless I'm lucky enough to move to the UK, where all of these are perfectly acceptable names)?

    c) I'm not really one for using a name I dislike just to get to the nickname I like - why couldn't I use Gracie or Rosie, and then she could go by Grace or Rose if she wanted to? It's dropping one letter, or I could name her the name I don't like and add two to it for a nickname? I'm confused on this.

    d) I'm torn because some people are saying cutesy names are fine and it's my style so I should stand by it - but a larger number are telling me that the names I like are (mostly) only good for one thing - nicknames.

    Just when I thought I had my list - LOL.

    Help with clarification on these/confidence boosters please?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Brit in Nova Scotia :)
    Posts
    2,890
    I've said this before, but I think your list is lovely.

    This isn't malicious so don't take it the wrong way because I've been there too; I think you're possibly too set on having your names validated. And when people give negative opinions on your favourites (this IS to do with Nameberry in general having something against shorter or cuter names), of course you get upset and seek even more validation so ask for even more opinions and its sort of a vicious cycle.

    I very rarely ask people's opinions of my list on here anymore because I'm worried that other people's negative opinions will put me off names I love. My current top runner is Bibi Annabella - ridiculously cutesy by Nameberry's standards, paired with something overtly frilly. I know the majority will dislike it, but it has a significance to me which I don't want to be spoilt so I don't even ask.

    But if you really do want people to carry on discussing your list, I think you have to toughen up a bit too. Obviously don't tolerate outright rudeness, but try to understand that when you ask for opinions some of them are going to be negative, but they're not often meant personally.

    Obviously you have your own taste, like everyone does, and that's fine. Just because it's not Eleanor and Josephine doesn't make it bad. Have confidence in the names you like!
    Jemima Rosemary - Eilidh Briar - Fenella Beatrix ✿ Alec Huw - Emmett Nicholas - Rufus Caspian
    Billie, Magdalena, Imogen, Octavia, Ailbhe, Jessa, Raphaela, Agnes, Imogen, Amelia, Medora, Lettice, Annabella.
    Dylan, Breccan, Rhett, Oscar, Ingram, Harrison, William, Vincent, Wolfie, Keaton.

    ✿✿✿

    Traveller at heart and dreaming of future babes, but mostly I'm just an expat teenage girl from England...http://bigsistercomplex.tumblr.com/


  3. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    434
    Perhaps it's more about double-barrelled names in general? I usually respond to such names with a feeling of, "Oh, they're trying to be unique or clever" or "They want everyone to think their child is special". Pretty much, I respond to them as though they are made-up - which irks me because "there are plenty of perfectly good names out there already!"

    Let me say, I FEEL BAD ABOUT REACTING LIKE THIS! I think it's rather closed-minded of me. I can understand why people combine names: they often sound nice together! Maybe they just really loved both names and couldn't decide, or it's a tribute to someone important to them.

    People often do it for girls, I've found, more so than for boys. And they usually put two very "pretty" names together - and the result is that the name sounds too pretty (by my subjective standard). My prejudice then tells me, "They want everyone to think of their daughter as pretty/beautiful/special". I realise just how cynical and judgemental that sounds!! I guess it stems from childhood jealousy about not being the pretty one, or the one with a non-special or non-pretty name.

    ANYWAY, that's me being honest about it (perhaps I should be saving it for therapy!!).

    People are often inclined to give their daughters pretty names, and double-barrelled names often give off a pretty vibe (for instance, you'd rarely find someone putting two more unisex/masculine names together, like Sawyer-London...!). My feeling about why people often see them as "cutesy" is that it's somehow easier to see such names on small girls than on grown women - and I do think that many people name their children with childhood in mind, rather than the life ahead of them.
    直美 Naomi

    Lucia Pascale

    Avery Edward Francis

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,340
    a) If Rose is so lovely and a wonderful alternative to Rosie, why is it cutesy when paired with Millie? (Honestly don't understand that, so just looking for clarification).


    Rose is lovely and simple yet strong with R beginning. Millie is soft and sweet with the soft beginning middle and end and throwing a flower name on the end makes it sweeter not stronger. The R in the middle doesn't take away from the soft sounds.


    b) Should I basically throw out every name on my favourites list because they don't seem up to standard with Nameberry tastes, and therefore won't work in the real world (unless I'm lucky enough to move to the UK, where all of these are perfectly acceptable names)?

    You should reflect on advice you get here, decide if the points others make matter to you enough to change your opinion about a name, and adjust your list accordingly. You should use the opinions of others to inform your choices not dictate them.

    c) I'm not really one for using a name I dislike just to get to the nickname I like - why couldn't I use Gracie or Rosie, and then she could go by Grace or Rose if she wanted to? It's dropping one letter, or I could name her the name I don't like and add two to it for a nickname? I'm confused on this.

    I agree with Rosie and Gracie, the bears could use Rose and Grace as nicknames and the problem is solved. I know someone christened Katie who did just that - as soon as she was old enough to go by Kate, she did just that and has never looked back. I think the people who struggle more with cutesy names are ones where there is no natural alternatives. A Millie might struggle with this.

    d) I'm torn because some people are saying cutesy names are fine and it's my style so I should stand by it - but a larger number are telling me that the names I like are (mostly) only good for one thing - nicknames.

    Only you can decide how much the opinions of others matter to you on this issue. Only you can decide what image you want your children's names to project. You now know that a large number of people will be introduced to your little Millie and may ask "what is that a nickname for?" Only you can decide if it matters to you.
    I like simple yet versatile names that work well for the athlete, the comic, the genius, and the judge.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    150
    I think oliviasarah gave great advice.

    Personally, I knew a Rosie growing up. That was her real name, not a nickname, and it didn't doom her to never having a career or whatever other horrible things people say will happen to a kid with an overly cute name. Whilst I personally don't like Millie, if you and your partner love it, that's what matters. Most normal balanced humans are not going to dislike your kid just because of her name - if anything they will grow to love the name from having positive associations with your child. For what it's worth, I don't think Millie is too cutesy, it just reminds me of old ladies. I'm only just catching on to this trend of naming babies after old people, I had the same reaction when the Will and Kate named their kid George

    Additionally, people on nameberry are a small selection of society at large, and they are the name snobs of the world, for want of a better term. I don't think you can necessarily take the opinions you see here and assume everyone you/your child meets in real life is going to have the same opinions.

    It's great that there are people who love names other people wouldn't use, you're saving us all from hearing the same old tired names. Doing the world a favour even. So don't stress. If you and your husband love it, go for it. If your kid really hates it they can change it when they grow up. Names are not a life sentence.

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