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  1. #1

    Severe name remorse 2 1/2 years later......anyone else?

    Hello,

    I've posted on here before about my name remorse and need to revisit it....sorry!! its consuming me and I was just wondering if anyone else has regretted the name they gave their child and how they overcame this regret? I cant believe I'm even still going on about it and I'm so mad at myself for not being able to let it go. My daughter is almost 29 months old now so obviously too late to change her name but how do I move on?.......

    I know I should be thankful that I have three healthy kids and honestly I am but we gave my daughter a name which unfortunately (to me at least) gave her unfortunate initials and I'm so worried that I've let her down and caused her a lifetime of being wary of how she writes her name etc.

    Many berries have told me that it is not an issue but I cant get passed it and I am a private person so the fact that I am writing on here again says a lot (plus if I mention it one more time to my husband he will not be impressed!) so I'm pretending to move on but inside I'm in turmoil!! (sorry for sounding so dramatic)

    Her name begins with E. ends in A with 2 M's in the middle and is super popular!! (I'm so worried she will google all of this one day so am being extra careful now). Surname is v.... L......

    My husband and a few berries told me to drop the L and just use the first initial plus the V so I tried this at the doctors the other day and told them our surname was one word and I signed her name this way using but the lady at the counter was dutch and said you need to use the L as well as its two words. I said Oh we only use the V and say its one word and she said that is not correct, so the problem is NOT solved and I just feel terrible.

    I don't know If anyone can offer any suggestions but just needed to vent, thanks for listening.

    x

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    904
    Sorry, but I can't figure out what in the heck you are trying to say! Maybe because it's 2am here and I am researching names for a friend... maybe my brain is just fried.

    But my advice is the same, either way. Change it. Pure and simple. Tell your husband you will be changing it or he will be hearing you bemoan the name for the rest of your lives. Literally. I would stay as close as you can in sound to the first name since we are already at 2 and a half. But I would do it TODAY. I can't stress this enough... please change it right away. If you're still stressing after all of this time, that anxiety isn't going away and changing it after school starts will be much more difficult for her. If she wonders why her name sounds different you can tell her it's her "big girl name" but you are still in a very narrow safe zone right now. Do not delay!
    Last edited by rainydaygarden; December 19th, 2013 at 06:21 AM.

  3. #5
    Thanks sorry for the confusion I was trying to talk in code and now I look like more of an idiot!! I am seriously not as crazy as I am coming across!

    Ok if I change her name I worry first and foremost about her having an identity crisis and then secondly how do I Explain to people that the person they have called Emma or em for 2 1/2 years is now called......? I guess I could be honest?!

    I have been trying to think of a way to bring In another name as a nickname which may take off as there are a lot of people who are born with a name then are known by an entirely different one but how does this happen...?

    Thanks for replying anyway hope you get some sleep!

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    214
    I'm not exactly sure what is the problem with your daughters name, but I think you feel that her initials somehow give the association of "evil". Is that right?

    First of all, it took me ages to work this out and I don't think it's a problem at all. But if you're really really worried, I think the best thing to do is to give her a middle name. For example Sophie. Then her initias would be E. S. v. L. and the assosiation gone completely.

    By the way, I know a few people with a "von"-surname and they only use the first letter of the second part of their last name, as the "von" is not spelled with a capital. This way your daughter would be E.L. or E.S.L. for example with a middle.

    I would not change the first name. It's a very nice name and it would be very strange for her to have a new name at two and a half!
    Ronja Julius Leonore Frederick Harriet Clemens Elisabeth Ivor Linnea Elliot

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    463
    Quote Originally Posted by dottipanda View Post
    I'm not exactly sure what is the problem with your daughters name, but I think you feel that her initials somehow give the association of "evil". Is that right?

    First of all, it took me ages to work this out and I don't think it's a problem at all. But if you're really really worried, I think the best thing to do is to give her a middle name. For example Sophie. Then her initias would be E. S. v. L. and the assosiation gone completely.

    By the way, I know a few people with a "von"-surname and they only use the first letter of the second part of their last name, as the "von" is not spelled with a capital. This way your daughter would be E.L. or E.S.L. for example with a middle.

    I would not change the first name. It's a very nice name and it would be very strange for her to have a new name at two and a half!
    I agree. You could even ask her what names she likes and then give her a list to choose from... Maybe when she's a little older - just before she goes to school? In the meantime, I don't think anyone will notice - and even if they do, it doesn't mean they'll think any less of her or you. They're just initials, and they don't spell a word. Any literate, reasonable, mature adult will realise that and quickly pass over it. Don't worry! Emma is a lovely name - please keep it
    直美 Naomi

    Lucia Pascale

    Avery Edward Francis

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