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  1. #1

    The Right Age To Have A Baby?

    I recently had a conversation with my younger sister, who's been married for about a year now. She's only 23, but said that her and her husband had better get on with having a first child before she left it too long, and it got me thinking. What is the right age to have a baby?

    I'm 25, nearly 26 and I've had so many comments from others how I've waited a long time for my first. I've been married for 3 years now, but we only felt it was right to have a baby at the beginning of this year.

    I feel the 'right' time is when you and your partner feel ready, but so many others have a set age for when you should have your first.

    When did you have your first? Or when do you expect to? Is there a 'right' age to have a baby?
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  2. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    102
    Of course it varies by person. I am 27, and looking to start TTC in 2014. If all goes well, I'll be 28-29 when I have my first. I went to graduate school and law school, and I wanted to be financially stable before we tried. My mother had her first at 30, which was "old" for our area of Appalachia, but it was right for her. Some people I went to high school with had a baby when they were definitely not financially ready or emotionally mature enough at 25 or so. Others became parents at 19-20 and have been fantastic. It all depends on where you are in life, your maturity level, and you financial ability to care for a child.
    Eliza June - Jane Beatrice - Rosalind Claire - Susannah Felicity
    Everett Monroe - Oliver Reid - Gabriel James


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  3. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    367
    I had my first pregnancy at 26, but after two losses, I got pregnant with my daughter and gave birth at age 29. I'm now 33 and ttc again. I wish I had started having babies a bit earlier. I feel like I had a lot more energy in my 20s. I think whatever time is right for each couple is the best time.

    @ccomp12, I'm an Appalachian too.
    Mom to Emberlee Shea. Expecting #2 Aug 2014.

  4. #7
    I'm 21 and expecting. I'll turn 22 a few months after the baby arrives. We have known each other since we were 16 and have been together without problems since 17. We felt like we were ready because of how long we've been together and how much more mature we feel after being through a lot together. So, I think the right time is when you feel like it is. I think you should be able to financially support yourself and have enough time in your life where you can dedicate yourself to someone who is going to need you for a lifetime.
    Theodore Arthur

  5. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    321
    Don't let anybody tell you when your "right time" should be, especially when it comes to another human being's life. The right time is when you and your partner decide it is the right time.

    My husband and I dated 10 years before getting engaged. We got lots of flak from friends and family for not moving ahead faster, but now what we counsel younger cousins is: do it in your own time. Don't be pressured to live by others' timelines. I'm not saying it wouldn't have worked out if we had gotten married when everyone else thought we should have, just that it would have been a lot harder. Getting married when we did was the easiest, most natural thing.

    And now, 2 years later, we are pregnant. This actually does fit in with most people's timeline of when others ought to start having babies, so at about the time friends and family started goading us to get started, we were already one step ahead of them! But again, we were operating based on what felt right and natural for us. We were ready to have a family. We were ready to have kids. In fact, at a family gathering shortly after announcing our pregnancy, where for the first times we were surrounded by a bunch of little 2nd cousins (cousins once removed? I dunno...our cousin's babies), my husband said to me, "I wish we had gotten started earlier, I want to be part of that club right now."

    Having a kid because you're "supposed" to at a certain age is completely unfair to that human being that you are bringing into the world. Having a baby because your family has a hole that can only be filled by that little one, that is the reason to do it.

    ETA: And yes the other posters brought up some good real-life details as well: much better to make sure you are financially and physically in a place to support a baby, and consider how a baby will impact things like school and career goals. Doesn't have to change any decisions, just things that need to be factored in as well as a general intuitive sense of "readiness."
    Last edited by capturedcastle; November 15th, 2013 at 06:09 PM.
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