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July 31st, 2014 03:06 PM #1
My 11 year old son wants to change his middle name. Should I let him? Big name mess..
Background: I was quite young when I had my son. It was my first pregnancy and I didn't have many symptoms, so I didn't realize I was pregnant until fairly late in the pregnancy. Even after I knew, I was so concerned with finishing school, I didn't think much about names until the 7th month. I wasn't brave enough to go with the quirkier names on my list (which are getting popular now). To make matters worse my SO and I couldn't agree on anything, except Ira and Camden. We went with Camden, and while the general style of Camden isn't reflective of my naming style now, I've grown to love it because it's my little boys name. As for middle names, I was absolutely stuck. An acquaintance of mine had recently named her son Ian McCay. So, I went with Camden McCay *sigh* ( I told you I was young )........ My son hates, absolutely hates his middle name and refuses to recognize it as part of his name at all. I don't blame him, I don't like it either. It has never sat well with me and I've been calling him Camden James since he was a baby, but haven't changed it legally.
Part of the reason I'm obsessed with names now is because of how unprepared I was in naming my first.
So here we are. My son is now 11 years old and abhors his middle name. I don't like it either. No one in the family is particularly attached to it. He is quite mature and sophisticated for an eleven year old, but still, he's eleven. If I let him choose a name for himself will he regret it? Or will I help him to feel empowered?
So far he has suggested...
Camden Pierre - His favorite
Camden Verne - My fav of his suggestions, but is it too N heavy?
He likes Jules Verne and anything to do with France, obviously. He has a French last name similar to Chasteen.
Any advise? Anyone else have a late name change?Esmeralda | Marceline | Enid | Rosalind | Floralba
Evander | Atlas | Cassius | Lorcan
July 31st, 2014 03:14 PM #3
I would go with Camden Verne. Its truly lovely, it will age well, its a name that fits a grown man - even if later he doesn't love France anymore - and he likes it & you like it. Pierre - no, sorry. That sounds like an 11 year old's immature naming style based on his current attachment to French things. I don't know about the legalities of changing his name but I can't see anything wrong with Verne as the name to pick.* My name is Adelaide Skye. I love to play with names.*Adelaide - Rhiannon - Rowan Evangeline - Saffron Ava - Jane Calliope - Charlene EloiseEphraim Hawthorne - Ezra Frost - Abram BalthazarMazarine - Amethyst - Lumina - Lovisa - Annika - Calliope - Hyacinth - Havilah - Charlotte - Holly - Beatrice - Noelle
July 31st, 2014 03:23 PM #5
Oh let him do it, don't go too out there, change it to James or Verne I think I love Jules Verne as well, sounds like a clever boy and if neither you or him or anyone cares about him having his current middle name either remove it and rwplace or let him have a second new one. But since he hates it removing it may be best . Camden Is a fine name just be confident his new middle name can last beyond what he likes now and be perminant. If you called him James perhaps suggest that. I'm actually partial to Jules but not everyone is and if he outgrows Verne which I doubt he may outgrow that too, Pierre is great and not connected to an author? If he likes it and its culturally appropriate that could be nice . I would let him honestly, for a name you put a lot of thought into... no! ... but one that's basically just been a filler name if he hates it do it now before there is more paperwork and he has more places he needs to worry about correcting it at.
July 31st, 2014 03:25 PM #7
July 31st, 2014 04:57 PM #9
I don’t know when he first suggested that he wanted a new mn or when he choose his favorite solutions. However, 11 is young to know what you want best.
My mother was fairly unprepared when it came to naming me - I was named a couple of days after I was born and even then I wasn’t given middle names until I was 8. At which time she asked me to choose from a very small list she had curated. (Looking back, I think she might have so strongly suggested her favorites to me that I choose them myself....lol... but I did feel like I had a choice.) When I was about 13 I wanted to change Alexandra to Alexandrina. My mother suggested that if I still wanted to change my name when I was 17 she would help me with the legal paper work and fully support my suggestion. I never did change my name, and I am grateful for it now. She gave me the same advice when I asked for a tattoo at 15 - “Know what you want, we will write it down and sketch it out and if a year and a half later you still really want this, then I will pay for it."
I realize changing a mn is very different to a fn but I think that as a preteen/teen it is difficult to know for certain what one will want for the rest of ones life. I think you should encourage your son in the notion that his name can be changed, and that you will support him in his endeavor. But I would also suggest that you also suggest that he choose a name that you write down (I’d also include Camden James - since you’ve been calling him this his entire life) and wait a year or two. If he still wants one of those mn’s then you will help him change the name.
I hope that makes sense. Good luck to you two.MAJOR CONSTRUCTION ZONE
newlywed!!! (not trying...yet)