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  1. #71
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    103
    I confess I haven't read the whole string, and I usually appreciate a thoughtful discussion, but this one seems like a bit of much ado about nothing. I am a lawyer, named Mindy, and I work with a woman who's sons are named Randsom and Gunner. Seriously. Our last presidential election was between Barack and Mitt. My Logan is a boy and is 19 years old and now we meet 5 year old girl Logans all the time. We call my youngest "Birdie Mae" and she will either pull that off as she ages or decide to go with her given name, Arden. The only one of my kids with a "frilly" name is Avonlea and she is a straight A, honors student, travel-level athlete that spends way too long flat ironing her hair in the morning and I have no concerns about her name holding her back. She loves it. It was just right for her.

    And playing down femininity as though it is not as strong and valuable as masculinity is NOT feminism. My girls are feminine and I wouldn't have them any other way. Arden is a more masculine name and it's the only one that I don't feel is a great fit because she is going to be quite a woman. Smart, beautiful, divalicious - a force to be reckoned with! Neither of my boys would have twirled through a meadow (unless they were chasing something), and 3 of my girls love to!


    Names are the first gift we give our children, they are based on feelings and preferences and hopefully given with love, whatever the outcome. There are sub-cultures everywhere, and I believe that many people who name their daughter Princess or their son King don't have the dream that their child will someday be a lawyer, like someone who would name a daughter Elizabeth or a son Henry might have. Some individuals break the mold and jump onto a totally different path than their parents (and the rest of their culture) expected, and no name is going to stop those people.

    The creative spellings are another story. Maybe if we stop glorifying the teenage pregnancy with television shows, etc we wouldn't have so many - youth is the one culture we truly grow out of! No offense meant to the young on here or teenage moms - I had my first at 19 and there are many thoughtful, young name-nerds on this forum. But I remember wanting to spell my name Myndi for awhile...
    Last edited by mjc7709; November 12th, 2013 at 10:48 AM. Reason: grammar
    Luckiest woman in the world!

    Mom to Logan Hunter, Savanna Nichole, Avonlea Noel and Arden "Birdie" Mae

    Step-mom to Austin Ray, Haley Caroline, Kelsey Suzanne

    and expecting someone else December 19!

  2. #73
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,617
    Quote Originally Posted by boyandgirl View Post
    I love nameberry, but I feel like there is definitely a double standard with understanding and tolerance on here. I may even be guilty of it. I find it sad that staunch feminism is ok, but anyone with traditional ideas are condescended to and attacked. I am very disturbed that a 13 yr old should be attacked and treated as unintelligent because she recognizes traditional biblical ideas. It doesn't mean she is insulting single mothers or stay at home dads around the globe. She is only making observations about her set of beliefs. How dare anyone stomp on the values her parents are trying to teach and instill. I feel like in today's society, it is ok to be anything BUT traditional. So, isn't that a double standard? I in no way don't believe in equality for women or men for that matter. I just think that more sensitivity to all groups should be extended. Everyone doesn't need to be educated on the sociology and history of oppression of whatever group is discussed. You may be well meaning, but sometimes it comes off as condescending. This is supposed to be a fun forum. Can't we let it be that instead a platform to attack those that have different beliefs and values?
    I definitely think that this thread is like an open shot for people to target and belittle others. It's far too provocative and insulting to some. I'm surprised Linda and Pam haven't stepped in.

  3. #75
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,221

    Critical thinking, yes....

    Quote Originally Posted by hufflepuff View Post
    Oh my goodness, the rampant feminism in this thread...

    My husband and I were discussing this very thing today. Both of us prefer stronger, classic names for boys and rather unique (but not totally made-up) names for girls. The reason is because giving a boy an out-there name is just cruel. Males naturally look for acceptance by other males and don't value eccentricity as much as they value strength; whereas girls long to be uniquely beautiful. Names are a big part of this.

    When I asked my husband if he would prefer to have a unique name, he said no way. When he asked me the same question, I said of course. It's just the difference between male and female. There IS a difference and there SHOULD be a difference.
    And contention and debate and all differences of opinion too.

    But saying women like unique names because they are women and that men don't want a unique name, but instead a "stronger" name and that is how it SHOULD be is extremely reductive and hardly stellar critical thinking.

    And what is a "strong" name anyway? We could probably come up with a list of classic names (both the well accepted ones and the more nerdy/debatable ones), but consider these top 100 boys' names from the 1880's:

    Elmer
    Clarence
    Herbert
    Eugene
    Chester
    Floyd
    Marion

    I doubt many of us would rush to identify these as strong male names and yet they were popular then. Obviously our notions of strong names for either gender change over the years. I would love to hear interviews with the men given these Elmer-Floyd names to see if their names were seen as manly or caused them suffering or if manhood was taken for granted and the name choices mattered less.

  4. #77
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    683
    Quote Originally Posted by lawsonhaley View Post
    I definitely think that this thread is like an open shot for people to target and belittle others. It's far too provocative and insulting to some. I'm surprised Linda and Pam haven't stepped in.
    Eh, I think this thread is interesting. We should be able to discuss the cultural implications and forces of the names we bandy about. After all, their importance is undoubtedly why so many of us love names to begin with. The cultural trends that affect our preferences are a vital component of the fascination.

    (Though I do believe in emphasizing civility, of course).
    TTC
    Why yes, I probably should be working!

    Benjamin * Sebastian * Ezra * Edmund * Henry * Hugo * Cormac * Andrew * Winston * Levi * Zev * Theodore

    Arabella * Aviva * Ariella * Maeve * Matilda * Eleanor * Catherine * Charlotte * Beatrice

  5. #79
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    698
    Quote Originally Posted by boyandgirl View Post
    I am very disturbed that a 13 yr old should be attacked and treated as unintelligent because she recognizes traditional biblical ideas. It doesn't mean she is insulting single mothers or stay at home dads around the globe. She is only making observations about her set of beliefs. How dare anyone stomp on the values her parents are trying to teach and instill. I feel like in today's society, it is ok to be anything BUT traditional. So, isn't that a double standard? I in no way don't believe in equality for women or men for that matter. I just think that more sensitivity to all groups should be extended. Everyone doesn't need to be educated on the sociology and history of oppression of whatever group is discussed. You may be well meaning, but sometimes it comes off as condescending. This is supposed to be a fun forum. Can't we let it be that instead a platform to attack those that have different beliefs and values?
    A provocative subject? Yes. And a great discussion, imo, with a vast gradation of viewpoints represented. Can you please clarify what stomping on values, lack of sensitivity, condescending, insults, and attack you've seen? I can't find it.
    Personal Favorites: Mira Cairdeas and Darrow Paine

    Best Wishes To All

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