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  1. #6
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    695
    I took my husband's name. Keeping my maiden name never really even crossed my mind, even though my husband offered to take MY name at one point (because his is difficult to pronounce and came from his late adoptive stepfather, who he did not get along with). He has children from a previous marriage, so it was especially nice to change my name so all 4 of us have the same surname now. My family wouldn't expect or hope for me to keep my maiden name.

    Having said that, I don't think you should do it if you aren't comfortable with it. The suggestion of changing your maiden to a second middle is interesting.
    Personal Favorites: Mira Cairdeas and Darrow Paine

    Best Wishes To All

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,596
    You sound just like me and your husband sounds just like my husband! I've actually posted a thread asking this question a while ago. I've been married since August 2012 and I haven't changed my name and don't plan to. My husband would love me to, but I've struggled with this question for a while and, in the end, keeping my own name felt like the right decision for me. You need to do what's right for you. If changing your name feels wrong, then don't.
    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Jane - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,523
    I took my husband's name for the same reasons your fiance wants you to change yours--because I liked the idea of a cohesive family unit in name. However, I can't stress enough how much this was a personal choice and in no way do I think all women should do the same, or that if they don't they aren't cohesive. Families are families to me regardless of marriage/surnames/gender, etc.

    I do not view it as giving up individuality. It was strange at first, and I felt a little sad making the final change at the Social Security Office, but now it doesn't seem as big a deal. I think it's good of you to talk with your fiance and hear him out, but ultimately, I view it as your decision, and if you really don't want to then I wouldn't. If he wants all of you to have the same last name as a symbol of a new family identity, then he can change his.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    278
    I'm only 20 but marriage is something my SO discuss openly. I always thought I'd take my future husbands name but his last name is so common (almost as common as Smith) and mine is unique. Unique as in, google it and only people related to me come up! But then I do want to share the same last name as my children. So I think I would take his last name but make my maiden name a second middle name, so it is still apart of my name It's a personal choice and I know many women who aren't changing their last name, some who hyphen, some who make their maiden their middle name. It's whatever you feel comfortable doing. And you don't have to do it when you get married if you haven't yet decided what you want to do.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    102
    I wanted to keep my last name because it was fairly unique and sounded great with my first name, but it was very important to my husband (and to my fairly conservative family) that I take his name. I was initially offended that he was offended that I wanted to keep my name . As time went on, though, I realized that it meant a lot to him, and it WOULD be nice to have the same last name as our future children. I changed it, and I am now glad I did. Like everyone else, though, I think it's definitely a personal choice.

    I love my maiden name and kept it as a middle name.

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