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November 7th, 2013 03:28 PM #11Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
I agree with what others have said. When I was young, I tried a lot of activities and either got bored or lazy halfway through. My parents would just let me quit. Now as an adult, its hard for me to finish and push through boredom. I wish someone was there to push me. It's an important.
That being said, I'm also have a 3 year old son. He's still too young for activities in my opinion, but soon he will be.
Since you already paid for it, I definitely think you should stick it out. Not only is it a waste of money, but it really is teaching her to not follow through. On the other hand, it sounds like she's been going from one activity to another. Maybe after this let her have a break? She is only 5 and might want free playtime. Or let her decide at the end of the 8 weeks, if she wants to continue dance or take a break?
If she's truly enjoying it while she's there, then just tell her that she has to finish what she starts. When she's done she can decide. And remind her that she likes it. If she throws a tantrum, I would honestly ignore it and put her in the car, even if you have to listen to her scream the way there. It sounds harsh, but most times tantrums are about control and soon she'll learn screaming gets her nowhere.
I hope that helps... children are a mystery sometimes
November 7th, 2013 06:26 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Have you been allowing her to choose what she does rather than simply signing her up? For instance, offering her a choice of three activities and describing them, and asking her to pick which one she'd be most interested in. If you aren't already doing this, she might have more interest if it's something she chose rather than something you put her in. It worked for me--my parents signed me up for soccer, basketball, and Girl Scouts when I was your daughter's age and I hated all of them. A few years later, when I was allowed to choose to be in the scrapbooking club, Harry Potter club, and science club I followed through with all of them.Writer. Name lover. Dreamer.
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November 7th, 2013 06:57 PM #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
Thanks for the advice thus far. To clear a few things up:
- She has chosen all previous activities. She has approached me and asked me to sign her up for them. The only one I opted for, that she didn't ask me to sign up for, was soccer.
- She has only done one activity at a time. She has never be signed up for, say, soccer and drama at the same time. Each time I signed her up for something she had already quit something else.
- None of her activities have been more than 1 hour long on a once weekly basis. Her current activity, ballet, is 45min long. Which is why I think its sheer laziness on her part.
I definitely want her to have some sort of established hobby in the next couple of years because I think she'll need it as a teen. It looks good on college/job applications and it'll keep her busy and out of trouble. Perhaps it was just in my social circle, but the kids in my class who didn't have an extra curricular activity were the kids who got into trouble a lot. I want something to keep her occupied.
I'm still on the fence. I don't like to purposefully make her cry but she can't bail on things she doesn't want to do for her whole life. I think I'll give her an ultimatum after next weeks class. She can give up after next week if she wants to, but I'm not signing her up for anything else until at least Summer. She needs to have consequences to her actions, so next time she asks to sign up for something, she'll have to really think about it.
Its not just the money, even though most activities require at least a months payment up front. The amount of money wasted on her classes is absolutely sickening. Its the fact that I'm basically letting her make the rules. She's 5, I should be making the rules. What if she starts doing this with school? She already knows if she kicks up enough I'll give in and let her stay home from activities, and frankly, I'm afraid it'll happen with school too.
Such a tough one.
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November 7th, 2013 07:23 PM #17
If I could offer some teacher (but non-parent) advice- make her stick it out. I am surrounded by students who are allowed to run their homes… it's a nightmare scenario. They have no discipline or commitment- schools in our society are too competitive and demanding to allow for a student who can't commit and has been enabled. My students wander through their four years of high school with no passion, no goals, no drive, no ANYTHING, just expecting Mommy and Daddy to bail them out when things get rough. I know she's only five, and I agree that it must be a nightmare to deal with her tantrums, but I really feel this attitude in my students starts young.
Again, I'm not a parent, so feel free to throw my advice out the window, but I thought I'd offer my perspective.Little Bean arriving September 2014
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November 7th, 2013 09:17 PM #19Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
It sounds like you already know what to do, just have to follow through, which sometimes feels impossible, especially with the screaming. I have sympathy for you, as it will be me in a bit.
If she did choose this dance class and especially, if she has fun while there, then I'd make her finish this, then tell her she can continue dance or wait until summer to start something new. I think it'll teach her that choices have consequences, good and bad. It sounds like its laziness, so push through. Letting her quit next session will probably just confirm for her that she can quit any activity even if it's in the summer.
Also, I agree with dindlee.