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Thread: Family hates our fav name
November 4th, 2013 09:57 AM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Are you comfortable taking a stand in general, about other issues? If you can handle some confrontation, not only would I name the baby Caspian, i'd insist that people call him the name that i chose, not a nickname that i don't specifically ok. It's your kid, and they have no right to mess with this choice for you.
I want to say, stand up for yourself and the choices you make for your family. But i also understand that that can be difficult, it has a lot to do with personality and history - so i also wouldn't blame you for wanting to avoid conflict. Think about how you can or should react if you stick with Caspian and get attitude for it. What will they say and how can you respond? For starters, I'd stop discussing the matter with them at all until after the baby is born and has been officially named, regardless of how you decide to proceed. But after that point, it's mostly a matter of repetition: "We chose Caspian for reasons that matter to us. Call him Caspian, not Ted or Junior or whatever. He's my kid, and DH and I decided this together. How would you like it if i gave you this kind of attitude over a personal choice?" Eventually you will wear them down.
If your DH is ready to back you up on this, then you've got a head start on doing your own thing. If, at the end of the day, you decide that you just can't deal, then go back to the drawing board - but don't tell your family what you pick until it's too late for them to mess with your confidence!
November 4th, 2013 10:04 AM #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
I wouldn't give someone who uses the word "sissy" any saying in this.
November 4th, 2013 10:12 AM #10Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
Wow, this is all such wonderful advice and encouragement, thank you!
We never told anyone the name of our first until he was born for the reasons some of you mentioned, and I regret discussing it this time, but it was so much harder to pick a name so that's why we sought others' advice.
It is also fascinating how the name choosing process can become so much more than the name itself. In my life I've struggled with not standing up for what I believe, avoiding conflict and caring too much about what others think. In addition I've struggled with forming my own identity separate of my family of origin. But in recent years I feel I've grown so much stronger, and choosing this name feels like a reflection of that. It has the potential to be an empowering act for my husband and I, which makes me more inclined to do it. It is unusual for my family and I to disagree since we generally get along so well and have similar views, so this has thrown me for a loop. My husband on the other hand is very used to disagreeing with his family, so this is nothing to him, and I deeply admire his independent ways.
Last edited by abeillion; November 4th, 2013 at 10:19 AM.
November 4th, 2013 10:27 AM #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I feel your pain. I love Cassidy for a boy, but it seems like no-one else I've asked does! But, it doesn't stop me loving the name, and I may use it someday (if I'm brave enough, lol). Stick to your guns, and I'm sure your family will come around once they meet the little munchkin! Caspian is a great name and works very well with Leo! Good luck! x
November 4th, 2013 10:40 AM #14
Caspian and Leo are a perfect sibset! I adore the name Caspian, and don't think it's at all "sissy". There are times when I think it might be good to listen to family. Some of my nieces' and nephews' names run together or rhyme in weird ways... but at the end of the day, it's your decision. And unless your surname is Sea or has other issues, Caspian's a great name and not too "out there" by any means. 'Cas-' names are trending... I can't see anyone ever making fun of this name. As for Ian, only let them use that nickname if you like it. They have already gotten to choose their children's names... now they should let you do the same.INTP Anthropologist Living in the centre of China, married to a Persian, and just enjoying a completely unpredictable life
Emiliana Pari 郑煜曈 '14
Names I love, but cannot use:
Soren Pasha, Caspian Bardia, Aryo Benjamin, Lorenzo Kaveh
Rosalind Katayoun, Viola Parvaneh, Colette Firoozeh