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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    114

    What to do when the father doesn't want the baby?

    My husband has always wanted kids. After about a year of marriage, I gave in and finally agreed to TTC. I got pregnant the second month of trying.
    I'm about six weeks pregnant and my husband has decided he's not ready for the responsibility of a baby.
    I'm sort of flabbergasted here. I absolutely never expected this to happen.
    Is it normal for a man to get cold feet during a pregnancy? Or am I dealing with something more here?
    Any advice on how to handle this situation?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    I think that's pretty normal, it sounds like he's just freaking out. You say he's always wanted children, so it's probably just the reality of it; the idea of a baby and an actual baby are two very different things. The responsibility of a new fragile tiny human is scary, and the fathers have the crazy pregnant woman to think about as well as the new little life. I'd just sit him down and talk to him about his feelings about it, try to figure out why it's scary for him. It honestly only sounds like a freak out, like he's overwhelmed and a bit scared. I'm assuming he knew what he was doing when he created the little one with you... so, yeah, I'm going with freak out. Good luck!
    [FONT=Palatino Linotype][CENTER]My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014[/CENTER][/FONT]

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    29
    I agree with Ottilie, he is probably just a little scared at the moment as the realisation that there is going to be another little human in his life that he is going to love more than himself arriving on the earth. Im sure he will be absolutely over the moon very soon, try talking it out with him.
    MaddieFleur, Name Lover, Someday Mummy

    For my little ladies: Evie, Tessa, Charlotte, Leah, Millie, Poppy, Cara, Juliet, Ottilie, Isolde, Rosalind, Martha
    For my dashing gents: Finn, Charlie, Isaac, Louis, William, Rory, Roman, Arthur, Leopold, Nicholas, Alexander, August

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    276
    I'm not a mama but I agree with the above posters about the freak out. Not ready for the responsibility of a baby? Too late! A lot of people aren't but they adjust. Maybe he wasn't expecting you to get pregnant so quickly. I'm sure he'll come around.
    My friend and her husband (both in their 30's) are happily married and at the time had one child.. got pregnant with another child 2 years later and he freaked out and said he wasn't ready for another child and he couldn't do it, was leaving etc etc. Well she stressed out!! He just needed time to process and he came around and now he wouldn't change it for the world Men are strange beings.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Texas, USA
    Posts
    18
    I absolutely agree with the other posters, it's probably just a surprise for him and I'm sure soon he'll be thrilled that you're getting ready to welcome another member into your family. I went through the same thing with my husband when we conceived our first. He was ... well I hate to use the word accident, so let's say he was unplanned! Owen freaked out as he was just about to be deployed to Afghanistan with his unit. I'd say the best way to handle it in your situation is to give him some time to think about it and take it in. He's probably a bit shocked at the moment so he might need some time alone. Talk it through with him, tell him how you feel and I'm sure he'll realise he overreacted immensely! As everyone has said, it's completely normal and you shouldn't get worried about it at such an early stage in your pregnancy. Work through it like you'd work through any other problem in your relationship. Communication is the key word here!
    Hope I've helped,
    skully
    [CENTER]Married to Owen, July 17th 2007
    US Marines wife and proud <3
    Momma bear to [COLOR="#0000CD"]Indio Garrick[/COLOR] nn Indy ~ 08.29.09
    [B]AND[/B]
    [COLOR="#FFA500"]Orson Carlo[/COLOR] nn Sonny and [COLOR="#008000"]Rohan Jericho[/COLOR] nn Roe ~ 10.30.13
    And not forgetting the six furbabies! [COLOR="#800000"]Floyd Furble[/COLOR], [COLOR="#000080"]Elmo "Momo"[/COLOR], [COLOR="#800080"]Maggie Moo[/COLOR], [COLOR="#00FF00"]Ziggy "Zigpig"[/COLOR], [COLOR="#FF0000"]Rudy Roo [/COLOR]and [COLOR="#008080"]Kavik "Jaws" - deploying to Afghanistan 11.17.13 with the hubby[/COLOR] xx[/CENTER]

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