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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    461
    Please honour your father's side. You will truly regret it if you don't. Don't discuss it or tell her, but when that sweet baby arrives, just announce his beautiful name with all the pride that a new mom would have. Never make decisions just to prevent someone's feelings from being hurt...that is her issue, not yours.

    Best of luck and thanks for posting.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    487
    What a horrible situation for you! Maybe you should write your mother a letter explaining your intentions and that you have no desire to discuss this with her during you pregnancy because you don't want to stress yourself. That way you can let go of the stressful feelings you have about it now and know that she's been warned and won't feel shock upon meeting your (potential) son for the first time.

    Once you've adjusted to motherhood you can work on this dynamic more if you think it is hurtful to you & could be hurtful to your child.

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    1,083
    Name for whoever you want - just make sure you give her a fair warning before the birth so that it doesn't come as a shock and disappointment to her. As long as she has some time to get over that, as soon as your baby is born she'll be ready to fall in love with him.

    Just realized that tararyaz said the same thing!

  4. #12
    I agree you need to stand your ground. Otherwise you'll feel guilty like you do about your Wedding day. I would just give her a heads up before the baby comes so she has time to cool down.
    Theodore Arthur

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    462
    Use his name. It's your baby and although he's not your mothers husband anymore, he's still your dad. That being said I would feel different had he done a very horrible thing to your mom. And by that I don't mean cheating (that would make him a bad husband but not a bad person and 30 years should be enough to get past that) but being violent. If there has been violence in the relationship between him and your mom or any other kind of abuse (physical or emotional) I think I wouldn't do it.

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