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October 17th, 2013 01:22 AM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Haha my husband and I just phoned our parents. They were happy but definitely caught off guard. I guess we should have sat down with them to announce it but we were too excited, he especially just wanted everyone to know right away.New username is @ truenature
October 17th, 2013 08:18 AM #8
I couldn't get a visa back to China, where my bf was. I was essentially stuck in visa limbo in Hong Kong, so we decided to meet and marry in Malaysia (one of the few countries that neither of us needed a visa to). We'd been planning to marry for months, but things were extremely complicated. My parents didn't even know we were still dating, as they'd made it very clear that they didn't approve (although they've still not met him). Actually, my dad was set to lose his job if we married (long story). So, I called my sister so she could call my parents and give them fair warning. She did so, and my dad was able to get permission to keep his job. *whew* We Skyped them once they cooled down, and DH asked for my dad's permission (although it was more of a formality than anything else). We ended up not being able to marry in Malaysia, and instead had to go to Thailand. I wouldn't say that I have a great relationship with my parents now... but it's a lot better than it could have been... and they actually like DH quite a bit. My cousins, aunts, and grandma adore DH... so it's all good. Just be brave, and congrats!INTP Anthropologist Living in the centre of China, married to a Persian, and just enjoying a completely unpredictable life
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October 17th, 2013 08:53 AM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
He's calling my dad to ask for his approval but is telling him we're getting married regardless. So I know my dad will expect it. My Mom jokes about us getting married but both have said they don't want me married until 28 and that's too long a time to wait.
Thanks again! December's coming up fast and I'm nervous as all get out.
October 17th, 2013 04:02 PM #12
First off, congratulations! Like others, our situation was a little different as my parents were expecting it. We just phoned them up right after the proposal and said, "We're engaged!!" My dad and his wife were so happy that they went out for drinks with friends to celebrate (they live really far from me).
In your situation, because you're young and your parents won't be thrilled, I think being prepared for their objections is important. They will still probably worry, but at least you can say, "Yes, we know we are young and don't have a lot of experience, we know we may not be starting out with a financial cushion, but this is how we'll address that....." That shows you're thinking like adults and ready to make an adult situation. What is it about 28 that makes it seem like a magic age? Maybe you can show them that you're closer (in maturity) than they think. If you act immaturely, such as yelling, pouting, sneaking around, or acting like you don't have a realistic grasp of what you're getting into, that will only validate their concerns. (Not that I think you're immature; these are behaviours that a lot of people do - regardless of age - when they're in a conflict with someone.) Good luck!Miriam ~ Helena ~ Estella ~ Beatrice ~ Anastasia ~ Veronica ~ Sarah ~ EstherPaul ~ Wesley ~ Walter ~ Edmund ~ Isaac ~ Abram ~ Gabriel
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(Still) trying for baby#1
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October 17th, 2013 08:33 PM #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Thanks. My dad called me and we talked a bit. He doesn't like my relationship, he thinks we're holding each other back and we're afraid to see other people. I told him I'd think about it from his point of view.
My called about an hour ago and I told her that I talked to Dad. I told her I was an adult and I would do what I thought would make me happy and that I know they may not agree with my choices but I hoped they would understand.