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Thread: Mad Scribblers

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by pistachio View Post
    I'm very nervous and even a little embarrassed to ask this, but does anyone else hate themselves when they write? I love it, and I do it, and I will always do it, but after I'm done, after the excitement and edit and peace, I hate it. I hate what I've written and myself and everything about both. I haven't written in a long time because I'm afraid to be in that place again. It was never a big deal before, but this little guy needs his mommy to be happy. I volunteered to do a small, simple thing weeks ago and haven't been able to get beyond the research. Does this happen to anyone else? How do you handle it?
    I know that feeling. When I write, it's a circle of self loathing. But you have to slowly work past it. Even if it means that you just write for a few minutes a day, it's good to make progress. That's all the advice I can give. Sometimes it's hard, but working through it is worth it. And sometimes that break from writing gives you new insight too.
    Good luck!
    -Athena

    Top Girls: Under Construction

    Top Boys: Under Construction

  2. #13
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    I can't say I feel that way about all my creations, but there are some I've grown to hate and it's such a miserable cycle. I don't think it's an uncommon feeling with artists. We tend to be perfectionists, and demand so much of ourselves. I've been working on being kind to myself the last couple months. I wouldn't allow another person to insult me the way I insult myself, so I'm learning to respect myself and value my creations. One of my closest and most talented friends is so steeped in self loathing she regularly destroys her art and writing. I've managed to save some of her work, and even have some on my walls I love it so much, but she can't see it.

    I'm not sure what the answer is, pistachio. I'm sorry you feel this way, and I hope you can work through it so you can feel fulfilled and happy. What's your writing method? My favorite writing book is Stephen King's On Writing, and I use his method. If you haven't read it, I'll sum it up. Write, write madly, scribble away, get the piece out of your head and then put it aside for a while. Don't peek. Don't edit. Don't re-read it a dozen times. Don't read that paragraph you just wrote so many times you start to see all its flaws. Just let it be.

    The reason I'm such a fan of NaNoWriMo is because it taught me to shut off the inner editor and just write. When you're editing, judging, deciding if there's any value in what you're creating as it's being created, you stop creating. You're so busy fixing imagined flaws, you can't see the piece as a whole. So, write it, set it aside for two or three or six months. Take a break from writing, or write something else. Then, once your work has had room to breathe, go back and read it. Don't edit it yet, just read it. I have no idea if this is something you might find useful, but it's the method I subscribe to and it works wonderfully for me.
    Considering...
    Cordelia Eilonwy Snow ● Evadne Winifred Snow ● Gwendolen Isabeau Fawn ● Lorelei Nimue Ondine
    Pandora Vivienne Swan ● Thisbe Octavia Wildrose ● Thora Polaris Fey

    ●●● ●●● ●●●
    Caspian Ithuriel Wilder ● Damian Rainer Sparrow ● Evander Ithuriel Sol
    Gwydion Alaric Hart ● Malachi Tristan Bjorn ● Phineas Robin Blaise ● Theodore Peregrine Llyr

    our furbabies: Sebastian & Oleander

  3. #15
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    Also, I just realized I never responded to anyone. For some reason, I remember doing so. I wonder if it was lost in internet space? Or my crazies took over again. Oh well. Here goes. Possibly for the second time haha

    southern.maple I'm pretty sure that's the tagline for every writer I've ever met, including myself! I've learned to finish what I start, but it took me years. Nano and the book On Writing helped me. I just talked about it above to pistachio, so I won't reiterate what I said, but I strongly recommend both. Keep doing Nano. Set feasible goals for yourself. Nano is whatever you want it to be. Yes, the goal is 50k words in a month, but do with that what you will. I use it as my launching pad every year, the one month where everything else in my life takes a backseat. It's one month out of the entire year, and I always shoot into December feeling both exhausted and exhilarated, and most importantly, full of inspiration and a sense of accomplishment.

    dantea I'm so excited for you! I'm making some huge changes in my life right now, and one of those changes is getting serious about writing. My creative writing teacher when I was 15 took a massive (aren't they all? ) fantasy novel I was writing to his agent who wanted to represent me, but I was the daughter of a horrid man who didn't encourage I take that path, so writing stagnated for me for a very long time. I've been pissing away the years just writing for myself, which has been great, but I'm ready to be brave again and it's scary and exciting. You know, I don't think there's anything wrong with being "braggy". I've been thinking about that lately, this funny world we live in where people talk shit about you if you say positive things about yourself. That's so ridiculous. Why shouldn't we tell people the things about ourselves we take pride in? So silly. Should we stare in the mirror instead and talk about everything we hate about ourselves? As long as you're not the sort to only talk about yourself, what's the problem? Complement yourself and others, and I say it's all good. I will definitely be purchasing your book as soon as I can because I love fantasy, and your novel sounds straight up my alley.

    ikfly I love books where the characters cryptically talk about some mysterious tragedy in their pasts! Stop planning and just start writing. Look at writing prompts to inspire the beginning if you're having trouble with that first sentence. Or start in the middle. Write a scene and go from there. Go back and fill in the missing pieces as they come to you. Just start writing. I know you'll think that's easier said than done, but it really is that easy. Just write. You're under no obligation to have that first draft be a masterpiece, or make any sense at all. Let your first draft be your outline so to speak. Just let go and write.

    aj_bear I've always wanted to write a historical piece, but I always get so enraptured with all the research I forget to write. One of my friends writes historical fiction. Your writing group sounds awesome. I love that you're all different types of writers and can bring new things to the table. As for the Victorian mess of bonnets and hoop skirts, that sounds like something I'd devour. Haha. I love me some hoop skirts!

    geeknamez Screenwriting, hmm, that's interesting. Never tried to write a screenplay, although I often grumble at the TV screen that I could have written a better script than that. Is your professor just being a jackass? Or is he at least giving you feedback to improve your writing? If he's just a jackass ignore him, do what you need to pass the class and forget the rest. If he's being overly critical but in a constructive way, bite your tongue and listen. It doesn't mean he's right, so again, take what you can use and forget the rest. If you want my thoughts on which to work on for Nano (if you do it) I'd go for the fairy tale one or the zombie one. If you're short on time, the complicated fantasy one might be too big a project. I'm always down for zombies and mermaids!

    pistachio I already commented to you so I'll just say that I'm the same in terms of having different writing styles for different works. Does anyone else write lots of different types of stuff? I know I should start settling into what kind of writing I want to do, but honestly, stories come to me from all over. I write all genres. I read all genres, too, which might be why. I just love stories. Give Nano a try. I hope you find some peace in your writing method.

    violetgray Again, tagline for every writer I know, although you can work through it. Just keep writing. Stop trying to find the perfect word. Get the words, any words, out of your head. Let the story unfold. It might be terrible, but it's out, and you can work on fixing it once it's written. If all you ever have is a chapter or two of some story that's been in your head for 10 years, you'll never know if it's any good. And maybe it won't be any good. That's totally okay. Just keep writing. You will never get better if you don't write. And who knows, maybe it is good! As for not liking to share your work because you feel vulnerable, I so get that. I too have gone through writing limbo, and it had a lot to do with not wanting to share my most intimate thoughts. I once had my gran start analyzing me through something I'd written and I cried buckets over it. She was trying to be helpful I'm sure, or at least trying to make a connection between what I'd written and things I'd gone through, but I felt naked and ashamed, and after the cry, angry. Unfortunately, it's our cross to bear if we end up sharing what we write. You have to get to a place where you're okay baring your soul. Don't ask me how that happens, because I'm not there yet! Working on it.

    Happy writing, all!
    Considering...
    Cordelia Eilonwy Snow ● Evadne Winifred Snow ● Gwendolen Isabeau Fawn ● Lorelei Nimue Ondine
    Pandora Vivienne Swan ● Thisbe Octavia Wildrose ● Thora Polaris Fey

    ●●● ●●● ●●●
    Caspian Ithuriel Wilder ● Damian Rainer Sparrow ● Evander Ithuriel Sol
    Gwydion Alaric Hart ● Malachi Tristan Bjorn ● Phineas Robin Blaise ● Theodore Peregrine Llyr

    our furbabies: Sebastian & Oleander

  4. #17
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    Oct 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by pistachio View Post
    I'm very nervous and even a little embarrassed to ask this, but does anyone else hate themselves when they write?
    This is my life. Except that I don't love writing. Not at all. It's frustrating and boring and hard but I can't help but do it because it's what I was born to do. I would happily trade for a talent in maths or science or any other skill that was actually useful.

    I also torture myself routinely by looking at excerpts from other novels/reviews of other novels and telling myself that I should stop because people better than me have already been published/my story has already been told/I'm a terrible writer anyway/no one would be interested in my inane drivel, so what's the point?

    I put myself down, I put my work down and consistently panic that people will see one mistake and think me an absolute dullard.

    *shrugs*

    I also have depression, so that doesn't help I like to think (though I have no evidence to the fact) that to be really, truly, good at something you have to sacrifice a little sanity along the way.

    Quote Originally Posted by redwoodfey View Post
    You know, I don't think there's anything wrong with being "braggy". I've been thinking about that lately, this funny world we live in where people talk shit about you if you say positive things about yourself. That's so ridiculous. Why shouldn't we tell people the things about ourselves we take pride in? So silly. Should we stare in the mirror instead and talk about everything we hate about ourselves? As long as you're not the sort to only talk about yourself, what's the problem?
    I agree with you for the most part, RWF (Reddy? Fey? I need a way to shorten this that doesn't make you sound like an RAF commander!) in that there's nothing wrong in taking pride in your talents, or a job well done but I've run into some writers (we probably all have) who have taken self confidence to the extreme and seem to have absolutely no idea how utterly terrible their stuff is. And this scares me. I think part of the reason I make sure that I'm as honest as I can be with myself about my work (and downplay whatever my true feelings are to other people) is because I'm afraid of becoming one of those poor-unfortunates! If I say my work is just so-so and someone else happens to think it's good then huzzah for me! But if I say my work is the next evolution of sliced bread and someone goes on to read it and tells me its terrible then I look an idiot.

    Though self-publishing has done a lot of good, it has a lot to answer for as well in that regard :/

    ((I'm going to move and tack this thread to the top of the writer's board by the way ))
    Last edited by renrose; October 20th, 2013 at 09:00 PM.
    ~Boys~

    Jory Leander Atticus, August Eli Benedict, Casimir Mordecai Stewart,
    Edmond John Meirion, Horatio Ethell Emery, Bram William Jasper,
    Julian Remy Charles, Vasiliy Lochlan Michael.


    ~Girls~

    Aira Rose ___, Eleni Fiorella Charlotte, Sylvia Sayuri Noor,
    Merit Eleanora Adelaide, Clover Elodie Seraphine, Bridie Scarlett Viola,
    Marguerite Cecilia Iris, Eilidh Clara Valentine.


    Sorry to anyone who read TSI. First draft was terrible. Second drafting now.

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Pennsylvania, US
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    52
    I'm doing NaNo this year! I've always wanted to, but never managed to make myself sign up. But I have a million stories planned and plotted and yet unwritten, so I guess that's what finally drove me to participate. It'll be interesting to see how it goes. It's been several years since I finished anything of novel length, and I'm getting more nervous as November approaches. Excited, too - I'm having a blast prepping - but definitely nervous. I'm bluebirdeyes on the NaNo website (I added you, redwoodfey!). The novel I'm planning to write is a fantasy adventure type thing. At least I have most of the prep work done, since this story's been kicking around for a while now. That's actually a large part of why I picked this story over some of the others; this story has some serious worldbuilding done already that I haven't managed for several of my other developed-but-unwritten stories. The characters, the setting, the plot, everything's already there. I just have to write it. Which is the hard part.

    About hating my work, pretty much everything I've written is like that. There's one short story I actually kinda like, but all the stuff I wrote in middle and high school was TERRIBLE. Terrible, I tell you, terrible. I can't even read it. I'm sure it's not bad for my age, but...oh, gosh, it's awful. I never feel like what I write is good enough, but I'm not looking for recognition or publishing, so I'm fine with that. It's the process of writing that I enjoy so much, and the feeling of accomplishment when I finish it. If it's any good, that's just bonus points. So I try not to dwell on the quality all that much, because if I do, I know I'll end up hating myself. But I'd suggest setting it aside for a while before returning to it so you're coming to it with fresh eyes, and don't worry if your first draft or even your fifth draft is up to your perfectionist standards. Most likely you'll never reach them; perfection is pretty impossible. As long as there's improvement and you're growing as a writer, I'd say it's worth the effort no matter the result.
    Edmund Antonio - Lucas Alexander - Theodore August
    Eleanor Georgia - Madeleine Lorraine - Verity Rose

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