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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    487
    You are both female so will likely have different surnames when you have children, no? This makes it less problematic to have cousins with the same first name. The name is her father's first and you're father's middle so I figure it is a fairly common name? This makes it less problematic as well. Perhaps it is a name like Matthew so you could have a Matthew and she could have a Matt?

    Would I do it? No. I was in a somewhat similar scenario and when my favorite name was "stolen" I decided to let it go and pick a new name. But in my scenario the children would share the same surname so that really made a big difference in my decision.

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    2,321
    Quote Originally Posted by feberin View Post
    I think it's fine and will work out. My SIL and I share a name. It's rarely ever an issue. We tend to just know who is talking to who and it just works. I guess it could be a little more confusing with kids but it would probably work itself out through nicknames or name combinations (first name and middle name for one).
    Out of curiosity are you or your sister close to having children. If she's not planning on having a child soon then I would think there is a great possibility she will change her mind before the child is named. If she doesn't utterly love the name then it's likely a passing fancy.

    She doesn't love the name. but I know she will use it because she wants to name a son after her father.

    I don't believe my sister will have children for at least 8-10 years, but she stlll wants to claim James for herself. While she and her partner have been together for 9 years they don't have the financial stability and quite frankly they aren't mature enough. Only one of them works and she barely makes enough to get by. They don't have a savings account and probably couldn't afford insemination. They also don't want to adopt.

    I am planning to have a child in the next 2-5 years which is before her, but I can't guarantee that I will have a son before her. I have always planned to have at least two biological children, foster and adopt children. I have always wanted a big family whether biological or not. I won't put dibs on James, but I do want to use it when I have a son.

    This isn't the first time someone has used the name and she wasn't happy. Her SIL used it for her sons middle name and I believe a friend of her is planning on using for her unborn child. I don't think she realizes how popular of a name James is.
    Dany (Also known as Athena Danielle)
    Could you check out these threads? I'll return the favor.
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    Rosemary Gloria ~ Petra Madeleine~ Lilith Seraphine
    Alaric Matthew ~ Henry Marcellus ~ Sebastian Rhys ~ Giles Edmund


  3. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    4,173
    I resent having a diminutive form of my cousin's name (Robin/Robert). My cousin isn't someone I'd wish to be identified with; and it just demonstrates a lack of originality on the part of my parents. Your child deserves his/her own name/identity.

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    131
    I think it's alright for you to use the name, because:

    1. They won't share the same last name
    2. It's a common name and a lot of kids will have it (as your sister is beginning to see)
    3. She already knew you were planning to use it before she decided to use it
    4. You say the cousins would only see each other about once a year

    Of course, maybe you both won't have a boy. Or maybe one of you will decide you like a different name better. Or your partner won't like the name. So I wouldn't even worry about it too much at this point.
    Favorite names at the moment:
    Simone Sage
    Andre Larion


    Other names I like: Veronica Vivian Lydia Octavia Bianca Flora Zulima Augustine Elsa Avalon Zamora Carmina

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,299
    It's a difficult situations but I know first cousins called Claire and Clare and I think they both quite like it. I don't think their parents have a problem with it either. I personally wouldn't do it because me and my sisters are really close so our children will probably grow up near each other.

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