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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    473
    The only time I would offer advice, unless specifically asked by the mother, is if she was endangering her baby. It doesn't sound like she is endangering her baby.
    ~ Mommy to Callum Rhys and Jack William ~

    Girls: Eleanor, Ruby, Louisa, Jane, Sylvie, Alice, Iris
    Boys: Edmund, Leland, Rowan, Beckett, Miles, Samuel

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    473
    Quote Originally Posted by ksilvia View Post
    My "friend" doesn't feed her four month old enough. She feeds him six ounces every six hours, and gives him water bottles if he gets hungry in between feedings, because they're trying to "move him along." They also refuse to get him up before eight, even if it means him crying in his crib for two hours, because they don't want him to think he has control over them. The poor baby ALWAYS stinks.
    I give her parenting advice ALL THE TIME. She doesn't take it, but I still do, because I feel bad for her son. She leaves her baby in childcare at MOPS once a week, and the ladies in the nursery have complained to her countless times, and one of them, who is a friend of mine also, says that they're just trying to document enough neglect to go to social services.
    ANYWAYS, I think it's okay to give unsolicited parenting advice if there is neglect or abuse.
    Do you know any of this persons family members you could call and alert them? That is not enough to feed a baby, if they are trying to save money on formula then they should apply for WIC or other government assistance rather than starve their baby. Also, 4 month old babies do not know how to manipulate yet, so letting him cry in his crib in the mornings is pointless. Does the mother maybe have PPD, having trouble coping with parenting? She needs an intervention or something. Sorry, I can't understand her logic what-so-ever, and since I'm pregnant and hormonal right now I'm very upset about this!
    ~ Mommy to Callum Rhys and Jack William ~

    Girls: Eleanor, Ruby, Louisa, Jane, Sylvie, Alice, Iris
    Boys: Edmund, Leland, Rowan, Beckett, Miles, Samuel

  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,224
    My advice would be to not give unsolicited advice, unless the well being of the child was at stake. However, I think there are a few ways that you could approach it if you really feel like you need to say something.

    I would start by asking "How did you decide at what age to start feeding your child solids?" This could open up the door to a conversation that lets you know if she did or did not do any research prior to making this decision. If she did research, even if it was just asking a few people, I would let it go. If she admits to not doing any research, I would say something similar to "Have you read what the (insert source here) says about introducing solids? It has some really interesting facts and tips." I would just provide her with a source to get information, but that is really all you can do. Perhaps if you know of a great parenting blog or something like that, you could tell her to check it out sometime because it has a lot of great resources/information.
    Step-Mother to three lovely children - Josiah Lewis (14), Stella Evangeline (8), and Emma Catherine (4)

    Expecting Baby Chicken on February 3, 2014
    It's a boy!
    Rhys Andrew, Milo Andrew, Conrad Henry, or August Henry/August Charles

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    584
    I'll buck the trend. I think it's ok to give gentle unsolicited advice. Not repeatedly or rudely, but there are several things I wished someone had told me when Mila was a baby, and I didn't even know to ask. If I had fed solids at three months and found out later that all my friends had known you should wait until 6 months and no-one had told me, I'd be so frustrated and hurt. I think you can make tactful suggestions and then wait and see if the advice is well-received or not. If it is, awesome, you can give them some more in-depth info. If not, ok, well you tried, now back off.
    Mother to miss Mila Arden and her brand new brother, Cato Bennett

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,458
    Echoing a lot of previous posters, I don't think it's ever okay unless the child is in danger. Otherwise, like in the case of your friend, I'd make a seemingly innocent comment like, "You're starting her on solids early. I didn't start mine until she was six months" or something like that. Don't come in all heavy handed (like "Why are you doing that? You're crazy!"), but as though you're making an innocuous comment.
    Alice - Beatrix - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Harriet - Mabel - Susannah

    Albert - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

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