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Thread: Does the Desire ever Stop?
September 16th, 2013 01:09 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Does the Desire ever Stop?
So maybe its just me but I'll ask for personal experiences anyway.. After your first born did you have a desire for another child in your future? If so how did you feel about it, did it go away?
Right now Im am a new young mother who feels so blessed with my daughter who is more than enough. Previously I always thought id always have 2-3 kids, I could never phantom the idea of having a single child. I feel like more of my urge is to give her a sibling to grow up with.
Since I am single it has been on my mind more, there's no chance of her father in the picture & I don't want to even attempt the idea of trial & error dating again until shes much older -as in older than I would like the distance in age to be for her & a potential sibling.
This even has me thinking about routes I never imagined like IUIs & adoption. I wouldn't act on this for at least 3 more years & if I had the means to support. But I'm curious, will this desire end? Will I be happy I have more time to spoil my daughter or will I feel guilty for neglecting her a chance of something I had. Someone to share her life with & watch over as they grow up together.
September 16th, 2013 01:40 PM #3
After Amelie was born I strongly desired another baby. I would have gotten pregnant within the first six months after her birth if finances allowed for it. I was incredibly broody and jealous of any pregnant women I saw. Awful, but true.
Since having Daisy I haven't felt broody. I think this is because we only ever planned for two children so I know my family is completely done. I coo at babies, wish my pregnant friends well, but I don't envy them. I am 100% content with what I have.
When I felt the super strong urge to have another baby after Amelie I did all I could to avoid situations where I'd be around pregnant women. I planned for the future, saved as much money as we could afford, started planning a new nursery for the new baby, thought about names, etc. Anything to keep me occupied and my baby fever at bay.
Hugs to you. Its not an easy thing to go through. Just keep telling yourself that your time will come.
♥Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).
Lucy, Annabel, Rosalind, Ivy, Alice, Lilia, Rosabel, Victoria, Faye, Anastasia, Molly.
Charlie, Noah, Arthur, William, Dexter, Henry, Luca, Ethan, Samuel, Isaac, Finn.
September 16th, 2013 02:55 PM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
Ha! My unplanned daughter is 3 months, I'm in way over my head caring for her (she's a high needs baby, I'm a high needs adult), we don't have the money or space for another...and I want another! A lot of it is that I want to give her a sibling...plus I miss her sleepy cuddly newborn stage and feel like #2 will be easier with all I've learned.Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13
September 16th, 2013 03:08 PM #7
There's a special bond between a little girl and a single-mom that may not be accounted for here! A sibling is a wonderful thing to have, but sometimes life pans out not like we'd planned, but better than we'd hoped. I would say search your heart here and give it time. Start saving up for your options (+3 years out) and see if the feeling passes! Either way you end up with another baby or a hefty savings You never know how things will work out, but there's nothing wrong with being "far apart" siblings if that's how it turns out! My sister and I are 6 years apart and, while we grew up in totally different stages of our lives, we're incredibly close as adults. Your family will be perfect no matter what you decide!Wilde West
Future West Babes: Harrison Mansfield | Adlai Alexander
September 16th, 2013 06:35 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
I am not yet a mom so I can't answer your question as to whether your feeling will go away, but I would like to point out that, while saving money and thinking about the future is never a bad thing, don't forget that other things can happen in life that may change your mind.
My mother was a single parent to my older brother, with every intention of remaining single, until she met my dad. My brother and I are eight years apart (and he's 11 years older than our sister), and we have always been incredibly close. Large age gaps really aren't that big of a deal if the situation arises.