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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    188

    Newborns and Holiday Plans

    So, I am due with our first on Dec 18th...which means our full term "due window stretches" all the way from 37 wks right around Thanksgiving to hitting 42 wks on New Years Day! Talk about inconvenient for holiday plans...!

    Thinking about this because had some rather surprising and upsetting emails with the MIL lately related to Christmas plans...I'm still not sure if she just didn't think about the fact that the baby may arrive ON or AFTER Christmas, or that we're most likely going to be sore/recovering/exhausted/getting used to breastfeeding. But, since I'm so aware of the fact that the baby could really come ANYTIME in that window, it was surprising to find out what the MIL expected we'd be up for for Christmas. (Basically, a family reunion with her side of the family where everyone gets to meet the baby...there's several other complicating factors in this, including that we will be temporarily living with the MIL who would basically be hosting this reunion...)

    So, now I'm really curious what you mothers think about plans for the "due window" or immediate post-partum days, especially if you've experienced this around holidays or major family events. It seems obvious to me that:
    1) all plans need to be loose and flexible because there are so many variables,
    2) only the immediate family (my parents, DH's parents and both of our siblings) have any "right" to meet the baby within the first week or so of the baby's life (others could if we' decide we're feeling well and up to it, but out-of-town aunts and cousins shouldn't be planning on flying into town, expecting to hang out with a 2-day-old baby),
    3) that most likely newborns and new mothers (especially first time moms) need mostly peace, quiet, time to bond without a lot of people wanting to hold the baby, and some amount of control over who is visiting.
    4) It's stressful to imagine a lot of out-of-town relatives visting if I'm overdue or actually in labor. It seems like added pressure: "when is that baby going to come?" "why hasn't it arrived yet?" "weren't you due a week ago?"
    5) I would absolutely never consider induction just for the sake of convenient timing for holidays, not for any truly medically necessary reasons. Having the birth of our first child be as natural and safe as possible is far more important to me than celebrating one Christmas in many....and is it selfish to assume that's objectively more important than the DH's aunts getting to meet the baby at Christmas?

    but maybe these are just my perspective/expectations? Do others feel differently about it? Were you totally fine with distant in-laws coming to visit immediately after the birth? Or hanging out in the waiting room while you gave birth!? How much right does a birthing/new mother have to be picky about holiday plans that affect various family members? Did you induce for the sake of timing around important things?

    Super curious aobut what others consider normal and acceptable regarding these things.

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