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Thread: Fostering

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,066

    Fostering

    This is a bit touchy, but I need some advice. There's a woman I've talked about on here briefly, about how she uses her son and I thought she might have Munchhausen by proxy. Recently, I spent 24 hours at her house and witnessed some pretty extreme abuse to her 2 (almost 3) yr old and her 15 month old. I have 3 typed pages in 12 hours. I submitted it to CPS and I'm offering myself as a foster parent to her 2 babies and the one she's about to have. We have a large 2 bedroom right now but we're in the process of moving into a larger house. A family member is renting it to us cheap and it has nice land and good space. I know with the money you get to foster and my husbands salary (about 1200 a month) we could do it. I think we could. Persephone is almost 4 months and she's very independent. The older boy is extremely behind developmentally and at 3 I would put him into a developmentally challenged headstart. I can work with the younger and Persephone at one and by the time the baby comes, Persephone would be a year.

    I know this is a lot and it would be hard, but the grandmother is physically disabled and the fathers parents aren't around. Those babies don't have anyone else.

    I need advice. Am I doing the right thing here? Can I make this work if they give me custody of those babies? Could I do this?

    If you need more info, I'll give it if it's not too personal, but I really need help here, even if it's just moral support.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.

    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    579
    I know I'm just a soon-to-be 17 year old, but my aunts are foster children and I think you're doing the right thing. The oldest was maybe 10 when she came to my grandmother, while the middle sister was around 5, they were totally behind in everything or didn't understand social skills at all! The Oldest, C@milla, was smoking and had a hard time living with my grandparents because of the sudden transformation.
    They had been negelcted of love, which I'm sure is happening with these little bundles too. From what I can see, you seem confident and feel like you really can do it. And that (+ love) is all there is needed! The mother might be able to understand why you are doing this and appriecate it in the end.
    I believe you can handle it ^.^
    Proud Auntie/cousin to;
    Noah (29-5-10), Silke (23-8-11), Sophia (18-11-11), Victoria (13-8-13) & Hopefully little Alex (due Dec!)


    Dagmar Selene ~ Lystra Science ~ Linde Harriet ~ Oswald Seth ~ Laurel Bellamy ~ Ianto Lior~

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    5,340
    Oh, how amazing are you! I don't have any advice, as I've never been through anything like this, but you're a resourceful intelligent beautiful person and those two children would be incredibly lucky to have you as their foster mama. I think most people are able to give and do much more than they think they can. Three more children is a big responsibility and a huge change, but it's an important thing to do. I will support you whatever you choose, but I do believe you can handle it. You're young and strong with lots of gumption and generousity.

    This isn't really similar, but I know of a family with three children who took in three more when their parents died in a car crash. The families and kids were best friends from before, but the children were older (between 8 and 14 if I remember correctly).
    [FONT=Palatino Linotype][CENTER]My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014[/CENTER][/FONT]

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,066
    Thank you. I appreciate the support. I know it would be so hard, and there's no guarentee they won't decide to put the kids with a stranger, but since I'm part of the kids life as it is, I'm hoping I'll at least be considered. It's a horrendous situation and she was yelling at my 3 month old and at one point she took her away from me and let her scream until she couldn't breath telling me "This is how you have to treat babies" There's so much physical, emotional...

    I won't rant about it. I love those babies and they are wonderful little angels when I was alone with them and treated them kindly. My mothers had them alone too and it was the same thing, they were so well behaved, so kind and respectful.

    I know I can do it with the money and I know this new house my family member if giving us will have room and it's in the country so it has plenty of acres and it's a 2 minute walk from my moms. I just have so much worry about splitting my time with all of them. Maybe someone with lots of kids could give me some tips?
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.

    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  5. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    7,104
    The main thing I'd be worried about would be the mother's response. If you were in her home I'm assuming you're acquaintances. Is this the sort of thing that's going to lead to her arrest? What sort of contact would she have?

    I'm not certain that it's the policy of CPS to place children with the party that reported the abuse if they aren't related. I could see that being discouraged so that people don't make fraudulent claims in order to "steal" other people's kids.

    And if she's currently pregnant, I would assume she would have some say in what happened to that child and I find it hard to believe that she would choose to place her baby with the person who turned her in, even if you were right to do so.

    So basically I'm saying, don't get ahead of yourself. It's kind of you to be willing, but policies might not allow it to work out how you're envisioning.
    Olivia/Livia/Livy/Liv : Thessaly/Darah/Bethel : Noelle/Eve
    Benedict/Eli: Jude/Zane: Luke/Darius : Levi/Phineas/Calvin


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