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Thread: Fostering

  1. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,008
    We haven't spoken in a while until recently when we started talking on facebook again. I went with her to her house to spend a bit of face to face time with her and, I can only imagine it's because we'd known each other a long time before we fell apart, she just, did what she did.

    With the level of abuse I saw, I don't think she'd be allowed visitation. With the training I have as a educator, with the things I saw, I think it'd be the kind to result in arrest.

    We aren't related, but I was very much in her life, like a sister, all our lives until the last year when we both got busy. My mother and her mother have been friends their whole lives as well and my mom's watched the boys and so have I. I'm offering myself because I know they don't have any family to put the children with. Her father has a record of child abuse, her mother is physically disabled, his parents are too old and unable to care for them, and the only other family are older people who aren't going to be able to take care of the children because they have a hard enough time taking care of themselves. So I'm thinking they'll be looking into foster homes in general and not just family, so I'm hoping if that's the case they consider me at least considering how close to the family I am.

    I do know there's a huge chance I won't get them, but since I'm hoping and praying really hard, I thought I should take some initiative to prepare myself. I do appreciate the voice of reason though. I am getting ahead of myself somewhat.

    EDIT -- I looked at the site for my state. It's a relative foster home, family foster home or foster facility that qualifies with the state that can best serve the child's needs and is the least restrictive environment. Preference to the family but if they aren't physically or mentally capable then they look at anyone else who is qualified as a foster family in the state.
    Last edited by dantea; September 11th, 2013 at 05:53 PM.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    Kith nor Kin -- http://kithnorkin.blogspot.com/ Chapter 30 and Epilogue is up. It's done!
    Angel's Art -- https://www.facebook.com/danteasart
    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.


    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    433
    They likely look to any other family members (Aunts, etc.) before they place them with a family friend.

    And unless there is hard evidence of abuse (the children are visibly damaged or need medical attention, it's been reported multiple times by officials such as doctors or teachers, or there's legal video evidence) it's unlikely a report you've filed will get the children taken away. In my state, at least, unless their was strong proof the children were in immediate physical danger, they'd send the mother to counseling, parenting classes, etc. and assign a social worker to monitor before they straight away take the children. They may ask the primary abuser (mother or father) to temporarily move out while the other parent retains custody of the children.

    If you do get the children, I'm sure this forum will be loads of support for you! It will be hard to adjust to caring for that many that young so suddenly, but it might be easier on Persephone (and the foster kids) than if they were already older.
    Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    Where I live the process to become a foster parent involves taking a class. I believe it's 3 months long & a home inspection must be completed after that. I'm going to assume that the class isn't the type that you can enroll in at any time, but I could be wrong, even if you could show up for class tomorrow it would be 3-4 months before you could foster. In my state every adult in the household must go through the class so if your husband has a different schedule than you this could be difficult with a 4 month old at home. I think that unless you've already completed this class or unless the regulations are different by you, the children might end up in the foster care system placed in another home before you can take custody of them. It might make more sense to ask the family if they want to give the children to you & make them your wards & you their guardian. I have no idea what your relationship is to them, how they would take that kind of request, if you would feel safe having an open conversation with them or if you feel that would put you or the children in harms way.

    I think reporting abuse is the right thing. I think that stepping up to take care of these children is a beautiful thing. I know that in my area you have to go through a lot of steps to qualify to become a foster parent.

    The report that you made will probably result in a home inspection and not an immediate arrest. If there's no evidence and if the children don't report any abuse nothing may come of it. Like someone else mentioned, they will probably look to other family members and they might be reluctant to place the children with the very person who reported the situation.
    Last edited by taz; September 11th, 2013 at 07:18 PM.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,008
    Thank you all for the support. You're all right, of course, it's very unlikely I could get them, but in any case, they need out of the situation they're in.

    The type of abuse present, by my and several other people's witnesses and since I've been trained to recognize these things, she is likely to be placed at Category 2. Obvious physical injuries, the children will tell you flat out what happened and who did it, I know because I asked. Obvious neglect (not feeding them or giving them something to drink, not changing diapers in 12 hours, the 3 year old can't dress himself, doesn't know his alphabet colors or numbers etc), the house is like something from hoaders. It's all very obvious. The law here says that if all those things are met, the children will be petitioned to be removed from the home, so at least they have that much.

    Taz - It's 30 hrs here to be given by the department, so I'm not too worried there.

    Thank you all for the support. I can only do what I think is best and whether I have them or not, anywhere else would be better.

    Now on a different note, we have talked about fostering in general. If anyone have experience there, I'd love to hear about it. Especially with this situation, I'm thinking about it even more.
    Last edited by dantea; September 11th, 2013 at 07:41 PM.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    Kith nor Kin -- http://kithnorkin.blogspot.com/ Chapter 30 and Epilogue is up. It's done!
    Angel's Art -- https://www.facebook.com/danteasart
    http://covertocoverediting.webs.com/ -- Editing services available for cheap.


    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Humboldt, California
    Posts
    284
    Just get the ball rolling with the class and the homestudy. You may not get them immediately, but at least this you're showing you're interested and committed.

    Keep us updated! I'm very interested in fostering at some point as well.
    Proud furmom to:
    Pepper, Kuno, Mia, Rosalind, Gwendolen & Cecily
    Currently loving:
    Elysia Maeve~Marina Isolde~Linnea Violetta~Minerva Sophronia~Merida Ianthe~Eleni Finola
    Tiernan Hugo~Felix Lysander~Orion Casimir~Caspian Milo~Evander Anslem~Leonidas Gavin
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